What is your opinion of foster homes based upon personal knowledge?

I have known foster parents who took in kids into their own (regular, nuclear family) home and raised the kids. In my experience (knowing this family). it actually went very smoothly and nicely – the kids were of the same race, and the adjustment was very good, smooth, no serious problems. It helped that the family was fairly wealthy and they were also good-hearted, nice, decent people. The foster kids stayed there for multiple years, and it was a very stable relationship.

I haven’t known people who run foster homes – meaning a half dozen or dozen kids, coming and going like a revolving door. My guess is that those situations are far more likely to have problems with behavior and abuse.

My parents did foster care when I was pretty young, and I know that my mother treated “Chelsea” exactly how she would treat her own child within the limitations of the system. (I would have a sister born less than nine months after we took in Chelea so I saw that comparison first hand). My mother spent much more on her than she was given by the state and when Chelsea had to go back to her family it broke my mother’s heart, I believe that is a part of why we didn’t foster again.

However, the foster home Chelsea came from, I believe, was a better reflection of your average foster home. There wasn’t any abuse as far as I knew, but it was clear that Chelsea did not revieve the support or love there that a little child needs. For example, her last foster mother assured us that Chelsea always slept through the night, but it became clear to my mother that her last foster mother only thought that because she put Chelsea in room where the foster mother couldn’t here her when she woke up. Basically, the foster system is not a place you would want to be, but I’m sure that is common knowledge

A couple at my church were foster parents and they would get babies from abusive homes but only get to keep them for a little bit of time before these babies were put back in their abusive homes. The courts feel children are better off with their real parents.

This is the nicest couple I have ever met. They do have a natural child of their own.
Eventually they were foster parents to 4 children that came from the worst kind of abuse ever imaginable. The abuse included that they were a witness to the murder of their baby sister by their mother. Mom went to jail, thankfully.
This couple was able to adopt all the kids. Of course the kids all had issues, but they seem to be well adjusted now. If it wasn’t for this couple, who knows where these kids would’ve ended up.

Foster homes can be hit or miss, some are just wonderful for children and others are just a way of warehousing them. But all in all it sure beats the alternative.

I’ve worked in less affluent communities where patients of mine are in the foster care system. Much of the time, they have been placed with a relative who is about as dysfunctional as the parents may be; but without family to take them in the state has nowhere else to send them. The kids are typically not healthy babies. Babies with medical problems or whose mothers abused drugs while pregnant are hard to place. Kids who are older with troubled pasts and especially if they are not white are harder to place. Very few people voluntarily foster.

The saddest patient I ever had was a little boy who bounced around a few different relatives then finally ended up with his grandfather and started to do well; but the grandfather died suddenly and the boy – just 4 years old – checked out. I never thought a kid that young could have a breakdown, but that’s what happened. He wasn’t catatonic, but he barely responded and was completely blank. It broke my heart.

I have seen other cases where the foster parent got really involved and made a difference for the child. I will acknowledge their effort and thank them for doing it. I’ve thought about fostering, but I’ve had a tough enough time raising my own son alone. Now that my mental health is a bit more stable, my physical health isn’t, so I don’t think I’ll ever do it.

I don’t agree with that and it couldn’t have been further from the truth prior to my adopting my two daughters I was their foster parent and they were always and I do mean always treated as though I gave birth to them. I paid more out of my own pocket than I was ever paid in foster care payments since I was given a whole $14 a day for an infant and given the cost of diapers, wipes, clothes, Desitin, and everything else a newborn needs. On top of everything else when you give birth to a baby you are given a baby shower that doesn’t happen when you decide to help some babies, you buy everything on your own from the crib to the carseat, and any and everything else you would typically get from a baby shower. They were not in just a room undecorated but a full blown nursery that I designed as if they were my own babies. And when I decided to do foster care it was with no intention of adopting any child my intention was to help some children at a time in their lives when they needed but the unfortunate fact is they were unable to be returned to their biological parents and I was asked to adopt. I loved them both and ended up adopting the first two children placed in my care. They continue to be loved and cared for as though I gave birth to them.

While going through the foster care training I met several people and they treated the children in their care much the same as myself. I also became friends with a social worker who was also a foster parent and she also provided the same high level of care as I did. She also spent much more on any children in her care than she was ever paid. All the state does figure out the bare minimum a child needs to survive and give that amount to the foster parents, they don’t give you the extra for the birthday parties, or the cost of having professional photos done, not even an enough for what it costs for new cloths on a regular basis, Halloween costumes, and christmas presents and etc which was what all the kids I knew got from the foster parents I knew and also what I did provide.

My youngest has severe medical issues which stem from genetic causes and if I didn’t act as quickly as I did or advocate for her like I did she wouldn’t be here right now. She would not have even reached her first birthday had she been allowed to go home with her biological parents or put in an institution this is something I have been told on more than one occassion by many of her doctors. She is now 4 and I am hoping that we are now over the worst of everything and she is growing and learning now.

The people I know were very loving to the children they fostered. While they stayed with the family they were treated just likefamily. Sometimes the children were adopted, sometimes they returned home or went on to another family. I don’t personally know anyone as an adult who spent time in foster homes I don’t think. If I do, I don’t know they had that experience.

I absolutely think some people foster for the money, or they foster with good intentions, but wnd up being horrible and abusive, same as that can happen in biological families. But, I wonder if it is really true the majority of foster parents are “bad parents.” I doubt that is true, but I have no idea what the reality is. I think most people foster either because they want children, enjoy parenting, or see a child in need and feel compelled to help. Any or all of those things.

The only real experience I have is of my Aunt who is a foster carer. She loves taking care of humans and animals that need some love and she treats them as one of her own for the time they are with her. She is currently taking care of a nine month old baby who is a real happy little chappy! She’ll be very sad when he leaves. The children she has also get treated as family by my Grandparents, my Grandmother has knitted him so many clothes!! The money my Aunt receives for fostering isn’t enough to make it worth while if she was just in it for the money and she still has a part time job for income as well as her husband’s full time wage.

I think the majority of foster carers probably have good intentions and the children are cared for very well. Unfortunately, we only hear about the bad cases (through the media etc) and so that might make it seem like the majority are bad.

While I am sure there are a few people who are in it for the money, I think most foster parents have the best intentions.

Our family friends just became foster parents and took in a three year old boy. They can’t have kids of their own and are hoping to adopt him. So far, his father keeps missing court dates because he keeps getting arrested the night before. They treat him like a son.

Pretty poor, overall.

I know there are “good foster homes” but the system is part of the problem. I’ve seen them remove kids from good foster homes for insane reasons, and the kids suffer. I know one person who was put on the child abuse list because her foster kid acted out and told her social worker she was abusing her. It destroyed her career, even though the kid later confessed she made up the story. She had a master’s degree in social work, and she was more qualified than the people she was supposed to see for “treatment”. The system is a racket, and foster parents are unfortunately, dupes.

I compare the foster system (and therefore foster homes) to the way they used to take care of kids before it existed, and I don’t see a huge improvement. Look at the final outcome- when the kids are grown. Sometimes there’s a success story, but for the most part it’s a pretty dismal scene. Things are definitely different, but not better.

By the way, in the US, once you’re on the child abuse list, they will not remove your name, no matter what.