Is it normal not taking chances because of physical appearance insecurity?

It’s not odd but it is very sad as it hampers your life. Perhaps a short term of therapy would be helpful.

I don’t know what you’re self-conscious about, but this little story might help. It’s a memory from more than forty years ago, if you can believe it.

I was waiting in line at an art-movie house and happened to notice another young woman in the queue. She was small of build, dark-eyed and dark-haired, with a long braid. She looked vaguely French or Russian to me, or maybe it was that she was wearing a beret. In any case, her most distinctive feature was a large, hooked blade of a nose. And yet not only did she not seem in any way shy of her appearance but she carried herself like a princess, as if she expected to be admired, simply accepting all attention as her due. A very attentive young man was with her.

The thing was, her graceful, confident manner gave her an extraordinary beauty that transcended her features, so that she possessed a unique glamour no conventional fashion-magazine model could match. She almost glowed with it. I saw her only that once, and her face is still impressed in my mind where thousands of pretty girls have passed unnoticed or been quickly forgotten.

I went to the convenience store tonight. A young woman not my type at all locked eyes with mine when I went to the counter. I paid and helped the guy pack my stuff. I looked back up and she was still eye contacting the heck out of me.

She was not my type at all. But I thought about her the whole ride home.

if that’s not normal, then I’m not normal
and I’m very normal

You might want to try to embrace any “flaws” which you think you have, and remember that to many men, these “perfect” models and movie stars seem generic….uninteresting…..and quite boring, actually.

P.S. Very nice little story, Jeruba. Thank you for posting it.

” People say I am pretty, and I get approached on the street by different men sometimes, but that doesn’t mean anything. I think to myself and decide that that’s just because I must look easy or something. ”

You do not say what the feature is but the objective, positive evidence quoted above seems to refute your feelings about this.

Why you use a negative rationalization ( I must look easy ) about the obvious attractiveness you process is beyond me and perhaps needs professional attention.

Odd? I think not. Many women seem to do this; focus on what they perceive as imperfection somewhere and extend that to their whole being.

There may be a deeper problem. Something along the lines of self worth or self confidence.

This is just a symptom. You can treat the surface problem, but even then it will continue or manifest in a different manner.

Work on loving you. And rooting out and treating whatever you find.

Yes I have had this problem. Yes it is common and normal. But remember if it wasnt features your insecurities would manifest in whatever manner society values and focuses on.

If you’re a perfectionist like me, I totally get it, but you also have to be able to accept that you are who you are and no matter what not everyone will like you or think you’re gorgeous. Be happy and healthy, that is the most attractive part of a person to me.

Possibly think about having that part of you fixed if it’s hampering you to the point of depression, and if you’re truly schizo and know it, get into therapy or group support, that can be a pretty big deal.

It’s common, and it can be hard to get to the point where you are comfortable with yourself enough to embrace the positives and not let the negatives affect your life so much. No one is perfect and you cannot go by the ridiculous airbrushed photos you see everywhere. Those aren’t realistic and even if they were, looks aren’t everything. The sooner you come to peace with it the happier you will be, and it will make a gigantic difference.

It’s just normal. You must learn to appreciate yourself so that you could get over your insecurities, irrespective of physical or mental appearance. Many people go through this situation,or has at some point. Even the most beautiful women are probably self conscious about something or other.It’s human nature to feel a bit insecure, you need to realize that there are more important things in life than physical appearance.