Do you like when a stranger offers you help?

It makes me happy to be offered help but even happier when offering mine.

I appreciate courtesy and respect from any source, and like Pach-Man, I enjoy being courteous to others.

The only time I’ve felt the least bit uncomfortable is when someone offers to help me stand and it seems more a nod to a perceived frailty. That’s my silly vanity.

@picante I hadn’t thought about help to stand up, good one. I like being offered help to stand up if I am down on the floor. Do you mean help up from a seat?

I do struggle mightily to get up off the floor, so I gladly accept the help in that situation. I’m thinking of being seated at a table, and a hand is extended to help me stand from the chair. It’s certainly appreciated, but my silly ego wonders if I look too frail to spring up out of that chair.

I got a new car recently that has low bucket seats. Lordy, it takes an act of Congress (and we all know how difficult that is) to get me out of that seat. I’d certainly not be offended if someone offered a hand to help me out; but my vanity would be wounded.

No, I like to be left alone. If I need assistance then I will ask for it. I don’t like people interfering. I think though, that most people have a good sense of others and know if someone wants help and if they don’t.

It depends on my mood, or it can depend on what kind of task it is. Sometimes, I’m grateful for the offer, sometimes I resent it. It really annoys me if a person (usually only men do this) trips over himself to reach a door ahead of me in order to open it for me. That kind of “offer of help” seems more like an accusation of helplessness. No thanks.

I’ll offer and accept help with a smile. Part of my philosophy is that we’re all in this world together and ought to offer help when the need is obvious or when it would be a friendly gesture.

Every kind of offer that helps you in certain way is cool, unless it surfaces that there was a bad motive behind such offers. Being helped is good but being taken advantage of will definitely anoy

It is important to always be available to help someone who might need it, but also to be aware that being “overly” helpful (AKA annoying) can irritate or offend some people.

Living in Brooklyn four times during the past year, it was clear to me that the custom on the street is to almost NEVER make eye-contact with people passing by. But once while I walked home with groceries, a few grapefruit fell out of the bag, and two different guys hurried over to help me gather them.

While packing the car to leave during the same trip, I was losing control of a big armful of boxes while trying to exit the building. A young pretty girl ran over and grabbed the door for me just before everything went everywhere.

My point is, even in “no eye-contact” Brooklyn, there are great people everywhere, and I am encouraged (not offended) that many of them are always ready to jump in and help when they really don’t have to….

@picante I don’t think anyone has offered to help me out of a chair (I am only 45, I don’t know how old you are) but I have been offered a hand out of the car and I am happy to accept it when I am in our sports car. In fact I sometimes ask my husband to come around and help me out, or atleast hold the door if we are close to another car. Especially if I am in high heals. That extension of the lower leg alters our center of gravity. If someone extended their hand to me when I was just sitting in a restaurant or living room I don’t think I would know what they were doing. If I see someone struggling to get up out of a seat I might offer help though. If I see anyone struggling with anything I would probably offer help. Out of seat, opening a jar, lifting a suitcase, any of it.

@OneBadApple That is always my experience in NY also. I guess that goes with my last sentence to picante, if I see a situation where it is very obvious help would help :) I am right there. But, I was raised by people who were raised in the Bronx, so maybe it crosses Burroughs. I also have no problem refusing help. If someone offers to help and I don’t want the help, I have no problem saying, “no thank you, I can do it.” If my grapefruits were rolling around I would be very grateful for help corralling them.

@glacial Yeah, that tripping over oneself to run ahead is annoying if there is no obvious reason except that I am a woman. Not because I find it offensive, but because I find it annoying. I think we should all hold the doors open for each other regardless of gender, and I don’t like when someone runs ahead or waits for me to finally get to the door, because it puts pressure on me to walk faster while they wait. Unless I am holding a bunch of stuff then I appreciate it. In fact I expect men to give up their seats for the elderly, pregnant women, children on transportation, etc. I give up my seat to all those people, but usually when I do it the man next to me lets me stay sitting and gives up his. They didn’t necessarily think of it first, but they take on the “man” role once they observe they probably should have offered.

I’m always grateful for help if my arms or full or if I get a low tire, etc…. On the other hand, if I’m in a position to help, man or woman, diabled or not, I help as well.

I enjoy both giving and receiving offers of help. It makes the world more human. I don’t usually accept the help if I don’t need it, but I am grateful for the offer.

Of course! I also parrot @Pachyderm_In_The_Room I enjoy helping others as much as being helped.
I am stranger friendly, not suspicious or paranoid about others, ( short of being in a really unsavory part of town, which does not exist in my community) and love to chit chat and make jokes wherever I go.

One thing that I miss being financially compromised at this time after years of prosperity, is not having the means to hand out cash randomly as well, to homeless people, the kid in front of me at the gas station scraping together his change for a couple gallons of gas etc.
I am a naturally generous type and hate miserly people, be it stinginess and obliviousness to offering a moment of their time or a few bucks to help a fellow man in need.

It’s not a question of liking it, but on the rare occasions that someone holds a door open for example, then i’m going to the thank them out of common courtesy.

I love courtesy. I’m sad that it seems to have lost a lot of it’s popularity and people are often afraid to use it.

I am always grateful for a helping hand regardless of whether the person offering is male or female. Someone holding the door for me etc would never bother me and why should it? It’s a polite gesture even if I can manage it myself and it certainly doesn’t make me feel weak or think that the other person thinks I am weak. I hold doors open for people when I can myself. I always need someone to reach things in the supermarket as I am rather short so I am used to that kind if help. It’s usually quite amusing!

I have some physical limitations and I appreciate when strangers offer to help, especially when they ask me if I need the help. As long as I feel respected, I am free to graciously accept or decline their offer. I feel comfortable being helped by a woman or a man. It makes no difference what is their race or sexual orientation. If someone who might be significantly older than me (59) offers to help, I assume they can do so but I will do my best to minimize the burden I might represent. I also like to offer to help others and on days when I am feeling better than normal physically I will look for opportunities to pay it forward.

Confession: Although I am a devoted and faithful husband, I still especially appreciate when an attractive female younger than me converses with me in the course of assisting me. Of course, I welcome the opportunity to make friends with a male who is both helpful and sociable and I would gladly help them with anything if I am able to do so.

Right now, my physical therapists have forbidden me to accept any help in getting out of a chair. I need to do it myself. They barely allow me to push off with my arms on the chair arms.

@Dr_Lawrence Thanks for that confession. I was in the supermarket a few days ago and a man was next to me looking at the canned soups, he was at least 20 years older than me, I think more. We did a little small talk (I don’t remember who started it) talking about the soups, trying to find the one he wanted, and just before we parted he complimented me on my eyes. I used to get a lot of compliments on my eyes, but I think it has been several years since I have heard one. He did it perfectly, without making me feel weird. Maybe he saw me as a younger woman taking the time to converse? I appreciated the compliment and the little bit of conversation.

@gailcalled Do you appreciate the offer though? Or, is it bothersome to have to refuse the help?

@JLeslie: We all think it’s funny. Humor has enabled me to beat on, a boat against the current. You’re being too literal, a trait that my family is not too familiar with.

Frock here: I get the Fitzgerald reference. Has Milo been reading aloud again?

Unfortunately, he has been too busy attacking my feet during my last round of exercises. I finally had to throw him out of the bedroom and lock and bar the door. The noises sound more like a rumpus than the turning of pages, the sipping of port and the cracking of walnuts.

@gailcalled My grandmother had the same situation at one point; she refused help for her own recovery from a fall.

@JLeslie. On the contrary, I am accepting all the help I can get.

@gailcalled

You need to master getting out of your chair, backwards, blindfolded and bound from the waist up.Perhaps for added effect, balancing a wine glass on your head.
I’d practice some serious Houdini maneuvers and blow your stuffy therapist out of the chair with your daring feats, uh, knees. :-p