How to get over your first love?

This is DRAMA! Pursue your own interests, and find new friends. Learn to be perfectly at home in your own skin, instead of needing other people to validate your self worth. It’s not worth mooning over the past.

Stay off Facebook for awhile

Avoid Facebook, and try to reduce the amount of time you think about your boyfriend. Try to look to the future and a fulfilling existence. Almost everyone who has had a first love has gotten over him/her. It’s life.

It is really hard. :( I know how awful it feels. Honestly, I think it will take you 4–6 months to start feeling much better, but I promise you will feel better. Pay attention to what makes you feel terrible and don’t do those things. I understand the compulsion to want to know what your ex is doing, but it is only upsetting for you. Try to stay off of facebook and spend time with friends and family.

I used to think of him as dead. He was dead to me. I made myself go on to other things and people. I guess it was a couple years until he was totally gone and by that time, I no longer missed him.

Stay away from Facebook for a while. If you can’t stay away, then block his ass and keep him blocked. You’re only making yourself feel worse by keeping tabs on him.
Easier said than done, I know.

We’ve all been there, it hurts and it feels like death, but I promise it isn’t the end of the world.
even thought it feels like it right now

Hang out with your friends and family, do the things that you enjoy doing. Cry and scream when you need to. You’ll be ok. I promise.

((((Hugs))))

Give yourself at least 6 months to get over it.

Time.

You don’t.

“Well a few weeks back I found out from a friend that he had “poked” one girl on Facebook and so I got really jealous and blocked and deleted him.”

Oy, I hope you’re very young. If not, get it together girlfriend. He “poked” a girl? First of all, I wasn’t aware anyone still used that feature on Facebook. Second of all, so what? You’re broken up; he has no obligation to wait any amount of time to talk to other girls. Your ex-friend also has no obligation to stay away from him. The friendship and the relationship are both over – no one is betraying you by dating and/or talking to anyone else.

Typical high school drama. My guess is that you’ll barely even remember this guy in a year, maybe less. You may even realize one day that what you thought was love really wasn’t. Either way, you’ll soon realize that “almost a year” is nothing.

You’ll move on. The world isn’t over because you lost a boyfriend. Stop stalking him on Facebook. There’s absolutely no reason to keep tabs on him anymore. You can’t be expecting to find something good on there, so looking and being hurt by what you find is your fault. Leave him alone.

I don’t mean to be a bitch, but I wish someone would’ve given me the cold hard truth when I was acting a fool over my first boyfriend. Instead, I was coddled. It helped no one and all the sympathy made me feel worse.

Found my second love. Then my third. It takes a while to find that one true love.

Now is a good time to focus on other activities you enjoy. What are your favorite interests? Not to distract yourself, but to remind yourself that there are other sources of fulfillment and happiness. Treating yourself well is the best way to get through a breakup.

When I was in high school I went through a breakup like this, where he was my ~omg first everything. At the time, it felt like the world was ending and I would never, ever be happy again.

During that time, I started running, made a ton of paintings that ended up being my application portfolio for art school, and spent a lot of time with good friends. The few months after that were still really shitty, because things hit you hard the first time around.

Now might be a good time to discover a new interest, too. Taking up something new could cause you to turn a new corner in your life, where you’ll be happy and fulfilled in ways you can’t even see right now. You could start volunteering, learn a new skill or find a new passion. If you’re engaged, that’s a positive influence in your life, and you’ll find that engaged, positive people will be drawn to you. It sounds like your friend and your ex are a big drain on your life right now.

Also, get plenty of exercise, spend lots of time in the sun, and get enough sleep. It’s amazing what a difference that makes when you’re going through a rough patch.

I was destroyed when it happened to me. I went through a very very bad time. After that bad time, I vowed to myself to only date men I didn’t find attractive, so therefore I wouldn’t love them and wouldn’t get hurt again. For 7 years I did exactly that, it was hell and lonely, then I met my current partner. Basically, it is hard and I know right now you believe it will never happen, and it might nit for a long time, but you will be happy again.

In your story, I don’t think so there is any confusion in it. It’s all clear that he is not interested in you & in true love. Just forget him & everything, which is related to that person. Make new friends & enjoy your life.

@Haleth unfortunately there is not sun to see here haha, it’s all gloomy and dark and very depressing. = Iceland.
Thank you for the advice though and I will be looking into maybe painting.

I’m trying folks,thanks for the advice. I’ve already blocked him off Facebook and a couple of times I’ve deactivated my account for a week or two. Maybe I might do that again for a longer period of time.

Exactly what @JLeslie says. It gets better, but it takes time. You can make it take longer by confronting yourself with him when it still makes you jealous.

Go out and get some strange.

Takes time and also helps falling in love with someone else again. I was in a relationship for 5½ years and he was my first everything. When he broke up with me I felt like I was dying and depressed…but I got over it eventually lol.

Honestly meeting my new bf at the time helped and I took things slow and just got to know him. We have been together two years now.

Word of advice it helps blocking him on Facebook, from your life, etc. or it’ll hurt you more to keep looking. Like re opening a wound

In the mean time it would help to pamper yourself…treat yourself good. Go learn new stuff and keep yourself busy, travel, hang with friends and family, volunteer, do something than sit at home like I did and not wanna get out of bed til 4 lol

It is not so simple to get over your first love,you just get used to the idea that it’s an experience.Anyways the bottom line is he’s moved on and that’s something you need to do as well.Try doing the things that you love to do, go out with friends, stay away from Facebook for a while.You probably need some time to be single and forget about relationships for a while. Eventually someone will turn up who will make you forget about your ex.

It’s now two years and I still can’t get over my ex…
I had two girl friends and in both cases it did not work out.
I am now considering to seek professional help.

I think you are better off with both of them out of your life. Start making new friends. Stay busy so you don’t think about your ex. Spend time with your family. Start dating again when you’re ready. You might meet prince charming who makes you completely forget your ex.

When I broke up with my ex of a long time, the only way was to get rid of all the stuff reminding you of this person, of course no social pages no nothing. Just stay away from all the memories. It is going to be tough, I know because I was there, the first 2 month was complete hell. But the thing that helped me a lot was that millions of people survive that, what am I, weaker than them? Of course not, which means that I have to go through this.

I’ve been in a similar position as you are. We started dating at 14, broke up and got back together at 17 only to break up again at 20. He was my first love and my first everything and the best piece of advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time. Block him from your life. Not because you don’t care about him anymore but if you cant see what he is doing or who he is talking to, it cant hurt you. As for your former friend, you cannot control what other people do. Only what you do so focus on yourself for as long as you need to. Don’t pressure yourself to try and get over him quickly it will only set you back. Time is the only thing that will help and then eventually meeting someone else you like/love just as much. I promise you it will happen.

By finding another hobby, and maybe you will find another to love. My mom said that when she was doing something on her own that the guys would come back out of the woodwork.

Thanks everybody for the great advice, it’s been a couple of months now and I don’t obsess about him as before, the first month it was nearly impossible to go a day without checking his facebook page to see what’s happening, mind you we aren’t friends on their anymore.

As he’s still in great touch with my parents and they really like him, the other day he came over to visit, I was a bit nervous but it was nice to see him and everything’s going great for him and I’m really happy for him. We sometimes talk here and there but nothing much just the casual hi’s.

Thanks for the update.

Good to hear it’s going to well, and thanks for reporting back :)

Edit: Also, you might want to take a moment to realise that you’ve learned something here that will be useful to you later in life.

@JLeslie :)

@Vincentt Yes, I guess it’s part of like and all in all it was a great experience and I don’t regret it. Life goes on :)