Melancholy, stress, feeling insecure to be loved?

If the only people who could have relationships and be loved had to be perfect (whatever the bleeding sweet Toledo that means), the human race would disappear within two generations.

The standard way of dealing with long-term melancholia, stress and insecurity is to see a therapist and talk things through.

None of us are perfect, and yet most of us are loved. I bet you are, too, whether you realize it or not.

It does sound like you’ve got some symptoms of depression. Some therapy and/or medication might do you a world of good. It did for me.

Check out self worth topics and self acceptance.. in addition to the above advice.

Not believing that you deserve love is, in a way, putting other people on a pedestal. You shouldn’t ask why you don’t deserve love, but why you think other people don’t deserve the love that you can give. I suffer from insecurities as much as the next person, and it usually helps if I look at things from a different perspective. Try not to strive for perfection either. People admire perfection, but nothing more. It’s the flaws we fall in love with.

Whether you would be loved or not, or any other unnecessary thoughts will definetly put a lot of strain and tension into the relationship. We all have to live with uncertainty. Insecure people always tend to feel insecure even when they are told they are loved. You need to reassure yourself to challenge your own fears and imaginations rather than just accepting them. Make yourselves believe nothing in this life is certain and that you can live with that. And even if this relationship did end, you are strong enough to go through it and face it and will have learnt things from it. All the best and I hope everything goes well.

I would focus on loving, which you can do something about rather than being loved which you can’t. Isn’t it better to be loved for a flaw than for being perfect? A flaw is something unique and special to you. Perfection is just an abstract template.

First, you must work on loving and accepting yourself as you are. No one is perfect. That is an impossible goal to reach. It would make for a very uncomfortable relationship. Do you seek matching perfection in others?

Loving yourself is not easy. It’s a journey. You might benefit from a self-help book that helps you identify and stop negative self-talk: Self-Parenting: The Complete Guide to Your Inner Conversations.

You can also say out loud in front of a mirror positive affirmations that you have written out beforehand. Say them at least once daily (more often is better). Perservere even if they feel fakey or strange. Eventually you will come to believe them. “I am great just as I am.” I am lovable and worth loving.” “I am a loving and lovable person.”