Has urinary incontinence caused you to restrict your activities and limit your social interactions to avoid embarrassment?

Man, I so sympathize. Ever since my third child was born (almost 16 years ago!), I’ve had a prolapsed bladder. If I have a prolonged cough or a bad coughing fit, I’m likely to pee. Sometimes laughing hard will do it, too. I freaking hate it! Doing Kegels never helped, and I did a lot of them.

I’m 46, and when I had a hysterectomy about 7 years ago, they ‘tacked up’ my bladder while they were in there. That fixed the problem for a little while, but it didn’t last. The doctor said I should never lift anything over 20 pounds again, or my insides might fall out. For real. This actually happened to my aunt.

There’s a thing called a pessary that might work, but I haven’t been too keen to try it. You wear it all the time, but have to remove it to have intercourse.

I still go places, but I go to the bathroom often, trying to keep my bladder as empty as possible. When I know it’s likely to be a problem (when I’m sick with a cough), I wear pads. Blech.

Try wearing absorbent pads and cut back on drinking liquids. There are effective treatments for this, see your doctor and ask about treatment. Please go through some of the tips for coping day to day with urinary incontinence

Nice sister! Pleased you have your husband to be able yo talk to. How about exercises to strengthen to vaginal muscles?

Not at all. I started wearing pee pads years ago when I was square dancing, and have been ever since. I carry extras with me, including personal wipes and change every time I have a leak.

I had stress incontinence when I was very overweight. It was a relatively mild issue, in my case. It was one or two drops from laughing or sneezing or coughing, but I still felt it was disgusting to be a woman in my early forties and have this occur. I felt like if it’s like this at this age, when I am in my 60’s, I’ll be in diapers. I went to one urologist here, locally, and he told me the problem could be from a tough child birth or from obesity. He said my options were Kegel exercises, medication or surgery. I knew I would not want to live my life on medications with the side effects and stress on your body that they can cause.

I went for a second opinion a few months later and opted for urethral sling surgery. It was a great surgery and I was out of the hospital a few hours later. The next day I drove to Cape Cod – about a four hour ride (I know, I’m a rock star). The problem was alleviated about 50%. I still had some drops here and there a big improvement over before. When I had weight loss surgery, the problem was totally eliminated after weight loss.

I don’t know how overweight you are, but if your problem is as bad as it sounds, I don’t think being 25 lbs overweight would make it that bad. I also am not sure how many children you have but I think childbirth is probably more your culprit.

I would consider urethral sling surgery. Make sure you have a good surgeon.

I can assure you that once you heal from the surgery, you don’t feel any different at all.

That sucks. I’m sorry, @jonsblond.

I am pregnant with my 3rd and am in my 3rd week of bronchitis. I wet my pants daily, but usually in the evening so it doesn’t bother me much at work. I’m 33. I did go grocery shopping this weekend, but that was my first outing other than work.

I don’t have advice, but I have compassion.

Sure. Ever since my son was born. Mine is a mild case of stress incontinence, but egads, it sucks. Having to prepare for every sneeze (stand up, cross legs, Kegel, aah-choo!) is awful. I pretty much keep it to myself.

Very sexy problem to have begin in your early 20s. Oi.

I just go to the bathroom about a million times a day, and tend toward long shirts, just in case.

In your case, I would try to see a doctor to see what your options are.

@augustlan My sister recently had surgery to sling her organs, which were falling out of her. The surgery went pretty well, but didn’t solve all the trouble. She may require a 3rd surgery to correct a problem with her relieving her bladder at night.

@jonsblond I am glad you have an understanding, comforting husband (good for you @blondesjon).! Have you considered the Depends products? It is not a long term solution, but it will allow you to go out in public. (pun unintentional)
Have you tried Kegel exercises? It would certainly be preferable to surgery.

I have heard horror stories about the pelvic mesh surgery. Before you go that extreme do your homework. There are class action law suits going on but doctors are still doing it.
Can you see a urologist?

I have mild issues with this myself and yes, it sucks. I had a very hard birth with my daughter years ago too and on top of that was an avid horsewoman for years, A lot of bladder pounding for me over the years. haha
Nothing like galloping up a hill and pissing your saddle. lol

I drink lots of water from an old kidney problem also and go to the bathroom a LOT!
So far, I am not wearing pads or having any major problems but…it does happen at times with coughing, sneezing, laughing etc. Yep, I just brace myself and hope for the best.

IMHO like any surgery it depends on the surgeon. Mine was great, and as I wrote above, I was driving on a fairly long trip the next day. There would be class action lawsuits maybe because when the surgery first started being done, the techniques and the products were not tried and true like they are now. I’m sure that percentage-wise, the percentage of people with problems from the surgery is very low.

I started having a slight problem with dribbling about nine months ago. Laughing or coughing doesn’t make it happen, though. Only right after I go to the bathroom and stand up. I hate this.
Seven or so years ago when I had a bad cough it was pretty bad. An online doctor told me to wait until the cough was gone to see what happened and it stopped .

@jca, yes that’s why you do your homework and if you must resort to surgery pick your surgeon wisely. The surgery has destroyed my friends sex life. Her surgeon was the same one that did my hysterectomy and “forgot” that I insisted on keeping my ovaries.

If it’s only when you have a cough, I would look for external solutions like the pads for now rather than considering surgery.

For the first year after my daughter was born, I had a totally uncontrollable small trickle that would get me when I least expected it. Now it’s rare and mostly when I cough or sneeze. It doesn’t bother me unless I forgot to wear a panty shield. I HATE that creepy crawly feeling of it oozing down my leg. TMI sorry.

@jca I have three children. The first was by C-section and the next two were VBAC. My youngest is almost 10 years old. I weighed 120 lbs. (I’m 5’3”) when I found out I was pregnant with our last child and I gained 40 lbs during the pregnancy. I lost 20 lbs after the pregnancy, but I’ve gained an extra 20 over the past 4 years. I’m back to the weight I was at when I was pregnant. My normal weight during my 20s and early 30s ranged from 117–130. I would be happy to lose 30 lbs, and my gynecologist suggested I should lose 25–30 lbs. I’m very depressed carrying this extra weight. I think back to the days when I would stress about weighing 130 lbs. I would love to be that weight right now!

I do hope losing weight will help with my problem. The second doctor that I visited never suggested that I should see a urologist. He didn’t even suggest Kegel exercises. I’m not going back to him.

I know I’m not a candidate for surgery since this is a recent problem that only occurs when I’m sick, but I’ve been getting sick a lot the past year and these coughs last for weeks. I’ve been wearing pads for a total of 9 weeks if I combine this illness with the last illness that I had in July. It’s frustrating and depressing.

I really appreciate everyone taking the time to answer and sharing your personal stories. Thank you so much for sharing such intimate details. It helps to know I’m not alone with this problem. (not that I would wish this on anyone, but you know what I mean)

@jonsblond Here, here, I’m there too. I have packed on about 25–30 lbs. in the last year and a half with all my stress, I am just a tad under 5’4. Too much weight on me right now too. From financially fit, physically fit, to unfit. Bah!

I am ramping things up again too, but yeah, stress is a killer, not only does it bring up our overindulgent side but the stress hormone Cortisol just fucks you up. lol
I have been in a vicious cycle for months now where I do well, eat well, light, start up walking again and then just slide back down the hill backwards. It sucks.
I am off work this afternoon and am heading over to a friends to help her saw up and bag a bunch of tree trimmings, of course I will then, most likely come back and have a couple Coronas, but dinner will be 7 grapes, and some rice crackers and a bite of chciken breast. hahaha

Fuck it all….I’m saving my calories for beer! :-P

My sympathies, @jonsblond. My problem was the exact opposite. Right after my first cataract surgery, for some reason I woke up the next morning with a severe inflammation reaction. My feet looked almost like I was coming down with elephantiasis. And my prostate, which had been enlarged a bit anyway as it is in most men my age, grew to the point that I honestly could not go. So it was an agonizing trip to the ER to get catheterized. I’d pee in diapers daily before I’d go through that pain and humiliation again. Can’t like be fun? It always has some interesting new surprise for us.

Thank you @ETpro. I never thought I’d say this, but I would be happy to have a cough if I didn’t have this additional problem to deal with.

I went to the doctors today and I asked him about your problem. He wouldn’t tell me much as it is one illness per visit! He said if I were overweight then it would be a much bigger problem. He said it is treatable if when I go to the toilet, I can hold my urine mid flow. He said if I can’t do this then it is quite a serious problem and he would refer me to the hospital.