Why is wearing PJs in public looked down upon?

It takes no more effort to put on a pair of jeans/trousers than pajama pants. And doing so would indicate to me, a total stranger, that you can appreciate the difference between public awareness and private comfort.

I also don’t find anything terribly “intimate, genuine, smart” in pajamas. But that’s just me.

I suppose for the same reason wearing a tuxedo to bed would be viewed askance… it’s just not appropriate dress for the occasion, at least not by common social standards.

Somewhat related to this epic thread.

Why would you want to be intimate with total strangers? This is exactly why it is looked down upon. If I don’t know you, I really don’t want to see what you wear to bed.

Also, would you want to climb into bed in pyjamas that you wore outside all day? I’m guessing no, because you’d be carrying the filth of the outside world into your bed.

Then would you want to wear the same pyjamas all day that you just slept in all night? I’m guessing no, because you’d probably smell pretty bad by the end of it.

So then… do you change into a pair of clean pyjamas after waking up and before leaving the house? If so… why not just wear normal clothes, like everyone else??

Where is Dutchess when we need her?

Why do strangers even care what I wear? That sounds high schoolish to me.

@illusionslies By describing wearing your pyjamas in public as “intimate”, you imply that you want strangers to care what you wear. In fact, you seem to be trying to invite strangers into your life by doing this. Which is exactly what strangers don’t want.

If I see you out in public in pajamas, I’m likely to wonder if you also brush your teeth, wash your hair, or practice adequate bathroom hygiene, as well. If you are so slack as to not care about what you wear in public, then you’re probably slack about other issues. And I probably don’t want to be in your vicinity.

“Intimate, genuine, smart” is not what I think. “Sloppy, lazy, inappropriate” is what I think.

Because only Hugh Heffner can get away with it?

@glacial I only care because I don’t think it should be a problem and it is.

@illusionslies Ok, then what does “intimate” mean to you, in the context of the question that you asked? Who are you trying to be intimate with, and why?

I don’t care. Like, at all. I don’t get what the big problem with it is either. However, ironically enough, I don’t know if I would ever wear pajamas in public other than that one time in middle school when it was pajama day…

@glacial It isn’t putting a huge barrier between myself and the outside world. When I say why do people care, it has nothing to do with me pleasing people with my pjs. I just want them not to laugh their asses off at me, which is what happens believe it or not. I want to walk around in peace, not being teased. The fact that wearing pjs is a ‘problem’, ‘ridicule’ and makes the person wearing it a subject of laughter makes me say: why do you care?

@illusionslies Speaking as someone in the outside world… please, put up a barrier.

The same reason you don’t wear a bikini into an orthodox synagogue. There is a time and a place and cultural expectations.

If you want to be comfy and in pajama like clothing buy some loungewear or sweats that you can get away with in public. I wear my workout clothes to the supermarket and it is no big deal. Plenty of cute sweat/yoga outfits out there that will not draw stares. I wouldn’t wear that to nice restaurant, but I would to almost any errand I need to run and fast food.

Wearing pajamas gives the appearance of not understanding cultural norms or mental illness.

@glacial Why? Is it empathy, perhaps someone has a PJ-phobia

I wasn’t aware that wearing PJs in public IS looked down on.

I see people around here doing it all the time. Wearing house slippers for shoes, even more so.

I’d sooner see you in PJs than look at the crack of your butt.

I’ll take a stab at some of the factors here…

Society generally sets some range of acceptable clothing to be worn in certain situations. When someone violates these norms…

- Some people feel upset and are not quite sure why. Something doesn’t feel right, and we generally distrust “others”.
– If you’re violating the clothing norms in such a drastic way, people might wonder what other types of norms you violate.
– When people agree to the social clothing norms, we are required to (in general) accept a certain level of discomfort. The effort it takes to put ourselves into this discomfort might be seen as a sacrifice of sorts as a gesture to the group. If you do not participate, you are not sacrificing in some way.
– When someone gets up early, irons their clothes, and puts on a suit, it could be difficult to see someone who appears so comfortable. “Why do they get to wear comfy clothes?”
– People love to talk a good game about how we value people by their actions and their intentions. But we really value appearance more than we would like to admit.
– When our appearance vs. actions hypocrisy starts revealing itself in our consciousness, we might react with defensiveness and anger.
– PJs in public is often seen as acceptable for very young children. Seeing an adult wearing clothing that is generally thought of as infantile is disconcerting.

Just a few thoughts.

I would prefer to put on actual clothes, and not wear the pajamas out in public. But I just don’t care what someone wears. I have seen people wear nude stretchie pants, I think pajama are far better compared to that. Let others wear what they like,and you wear what you like.If it bothers you that much, then don’t look. Try minding your own business. Just don’t bother what other’s think or say as long as your body is covered.

When you put time and care into your appearance, it shows. I have too much self-respect to be seen wearing pajamas in public. They are fine for lounging around the house.

Are you talking about going out in pajamas

or pajamas ??

One more question. Say you’re at home, lounging about in a pair of jeans and a tee. Do you go to the store like that, or change into your jammies first?

My thoughts, and this is just my opinion, when you are in public in pjs, it tells me that you do not care about how you look to anyone. It tells me that you have very little self pride and don’t care that you look like a slob. My brother in law wears pjs (or do they call them lounging pants) EVERYWHERE!!! I told him that if he wants to be seen in public with me, he will dress in clothes and not pjs. I would not dress in something inappropriate if I was in the company of anyone I respected so why would they? The last thing I want to do is go grocery shopping with someone who has been sleeping in his clothes for who knows how long. Again, this is just my pet peeve.

@Seek_Kolinahr If it were a clean t-shirt and a clean pair of jeans, I would go out like that. The world does not want to see me in my pjs-trust me on that!

Do you also drag around your blankey instead of wearing a coat?

The reason people look askance at you is that your behavior is improper. It clashes with societal norms.

What has caused you to behave in this way? Are you depressed? Have you just given up altogether? If not, then stop acting like a child. For crying out loud, can’t you at least pull on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt? Is that asking too much?

Poor dutchess. She leaves and there is suddenly overwhelming support for her anti-pj stance. Someone tell her to come back.

I’m working on her now, and ghostwriting her comments. ^_^

For what it’s worth, @illusionslies, I think the world would be a better place if we systematically broke down social norms and embraced difference. Adults wearing pjs, men wearing skirts, etc might cause some people to clutch their chest and go “Well I never!”. The more we can reduce this response – through desensitization – the better. Wear your pjs. If people have a problem with it, let them. If you expect to be treated as though you are wearing traditional clothes rather than pjs, then you should just wear clothes, however.

I find this amusing because when I was in high school I used to have nightmares about showing up at school in my jammy’s because I forgot to get dressed that morning. lol

It’s not something I would ever do, and when I see it I think to myself “seriously??”, but to each his own, I guess.

It is sad to see how judgmental people can be. I really don’t care what type of clothing a person is wearing as long as what they are wearing is clean and it covers their private parts and butt crack. Some dirty clothes are acceptable because it could be a laborer or farmer who had to run to the store after a hard day of work.

I’m sure @illusionslies wouldn’t wear pj’s to a nice restaurant or to work, but does it really matter what a person is wearing when they run to the grocery store or when they go to the gas station or library?

just my two cents

@tom_g Sorry? Who are you deferring to when you say dutchess?

@seek_kolinahr I would go out with whatever I am wearing at home. I wouldn’t change. If I wake up with pjs I’d go out with pjs if I think they look comfy/good on me and if I feel good in them.

One more question:
Is this more acceptable than this ?

So I would change from my PJs to this outfit and go out, it would be ‘more acceptable’?

I think there’s a problem here.

@illusionslies: ”@tom_g Sorry? Who are you deferring to when you say dutchess?”

Back in April, a (now ex) fluther member asked this question. She took a beating overall – and rightfully so, in my opinion. But this thread has leaned quite conservative and appears to be embracing the spirit that she had in that thread.

@tom_g Wow. That is interesting. Why do people love to contradict the wonderer?

Compared to stuff like people of walmart,, pajamas in public are the least of my worries.

Maybe it’s a generational thing. We wore pajamas to class and to lunch all the time in college. Out in the real world, I don’t see that so much anymore. As long as the person isn’t personally bothering me somehow (bad B.O. or whatever), then it’s not that big of a deal. Different strokes for different folks, said the farmer as he kissed the horse.

I don’t wear pajamas out in public but it wouldn’t bother me at all if someone else did. I wouldn’t think twice about it.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think pajama wearing in public should be banned by decree, I just don’t think you should wear them thinking you’re going to be taken seriously. It’s the mindset I have issue with, not the garment.

I really hate the People of Walmart site. Why do some people get a kick out of making fun of others because of the clothes they wear? ugh

I had a pair of silky pants that I bought at Goodwill and wore for months in public before someone told me they were pajama pants. I had no idea. I’d still wear them, but I’m too fat for them now.

I certainly don’t appreciate the pajama pant look. And yes, I would find it hard to take someone seriously who chose to wear them in public.

But I also don’t take people seriously who choose to wear their pants falling off, but if those same people are running from the police, I highly recommend it!

I do laugh at the People of Wal-Mart site. (Guess I’m not a nice person. Oh, well. I’ll live with it.) Let’s be honest; a lot of those pictures aren’t about what people are wearing. They’re about what is NOT being worn. If an outfit requires 2 hair-dos, then you’re not ready for an outing.

@tom_g Great link, I will be sending this Q to dutchess to give her some satisfaction.

@JLeslie Speaking of the Dutchess, she showed up again in my “Follow” list about an hour ago. Is she coming back to us??

@Katniss Honestly, I didn’t know she was gone. I can get in touch with her outside of fluther so I sent the link to her a different way.

I have a pair of super-casual, flannel pants that resemble pajama bottoms. No, they’re not actual pajamas; they’re lightweight sweatpants.

Yes, I’ve worn them in public, with a t-shirt or sweatshirt. I use them for housework, gardening, and other chores; if I have to run a quick errand (“Oops, I need more potting soil), I don’t bother changing my clothes and then changing, again, when I return to the task.

Given this discussion, however, I don’t think I’ll ever wear them, again, beyond my own home or yard. I do care what people think about my appearance, and I don’t want anyone to think that I’m traveling in my PJs.

Clean pj bottoms are just sweats with piggies, Snoopy, or penguins on them. I often sleep in sweats. Why not make a grocery run in my freshly-laundered pajama bottoms, a nice color-oordinated cashmere sweater and my grandmother’s diamond earrings? I would be stigmatized in my ‘hood only if I also wore flip-flps.

I don’t give a fuck what anybody wears and I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks about what I wear.

i should so put that on a t-shirt

@SadieMartinPaul & @gailcalled I don’t see how sweats are better than PJs. PJs certainly tend to be comfier, and therefor show less bumps and curves.

Mostly I see young people wearing PJs, and I think it’s funny.

Hmm, but does that mean going commando in PJs? I don’t see the point of PJs with underwear, and I don’t see no underwear as an attractive option.

YO! @illusionslies You havin undies on with those PJs??

Like going commando is even a big deal anymore. Half of the underwear they sell for women might as well not be there at all.

@ibstubro No underwear with pjs? WHY! You wanna get your pjs wet?

@illusionslies IF I wore PJ’s to bed, I would NOT wear underwear with them. I was raised that way. For years, I wore underwear only to bed (Note: I refrained from getting up in the morning and heading straight to Walmart.)

PJ’s are meant to be non-binding and comfy. Keep that morning wood from being too painful. They’re largely baggy and unstructured so that your body can be covered in bed without being too constrained.

Best option: sleep nude. You can pull on whatever’s on the floor to run to the store.
Better option: sleep in underwear and dress yourself when you’re ready to go out.
Good option: sleep in PJ’s, sans underwear, so you can easily slip out and in for clothes.
Poor option: sleep in PJ’s with underwear. You’re uncomfortable at night and ‘looked down upon’ during the day.

@ibstubro For a guy I guess that suffices. A lady would be far better off using underwear if she needs to use a pad during her time of the month.

@snowberry

Consider my answer non-menopausal in the case of females.

Thanks. I actually considered ‘the opposite sex’ when I was drafting my answer, but I believed @illusionslies to be male, and posted the answer to him. If we try to cover all our options, we end up with stasis.

:-)

People wear underwear with pyjamas? When they’re not going outside?

@ibstubro You’re right. But one can still wet their pjs without wearing undies. Gender doesn’t matter. You’ve never wetted your pjs? Undies kind of help, but your pjs still get wet no matter what, obviously.

I have never wet my PJ’s I don’t know what you are talking about? Being on my period would be different, but even then I wear underwear the first two night only. Going outside I don’t wear underwear with gym clothes, at home I don’t wear underwear with pajamas. I think it is odd to wear underwear with pajamas, unless the underwear is the pajamas. Having said all that, I always wear underwear with jeans, slacks, shorts, skirts, basically every type of street clothes unless I am wearing pantyhose, which is on extremely rare occasion, but I am still covered then.

If I ever become incontinent and have to wear underwear with my pajamas I will be pretty dissappointed and annoyed. It happens to a lot of people, so it’s not like I feel I am never going to have that situation.

Did this just turn into a urinary incontinence thread? Can I bring religion in somehow?

Well, the Bible says it doesn’t matter what you wear:

Matthew 6:31–33 – Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

Unless, of course, you’re mixing threads.

Deut 21:11 – Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together.

And, God’s “garments of salvation” do include a robe…

Isaiah 61:10 (excerpt) – my soul shall be joyful in my God; for he hath clothed me with the garments of salvation, he hath covered me with the robe of righteousness,

And if the “wet pants” they’re talking about come from a nocturnal emission, the Bible has something to say about that, too.

Deut. 23:10–11 – If there be among you any man, that is not clean by reason of uncleanness that chanceth him by night, then shall he go abroad out of the camp, he shall not come within the camp: But it shall be, when evening cometh on, he shall wash himself with water: and when the sun is down, he shall come into the camp again.

LOL @Seek_Kolinahr!

@Seek_Kolinahr Unless you’re a Mormon.

I took wearing PJ’s in public one step further after my surgery. I brought navy flannel pj’s with me but the pj bottom leg wouldn’t slip up and down over the bulky knee bandage. The nurse and I cut off the bottom half of the left leg of the pj bottom so it was Bermuda short length.

Then I discovered that the top acted very nicely as an outer wrap over the Johnny, which I wore over the mutilated pj bottoms. I got runner-up for best-dressed-patient-of-the-week. My prize was a small but sharp pair of scissors, used only once.

By “wet,” perhaps the OP meant “damp.” Most women leave, at some point, a damp spot on their panties or whatever.

Oh. My. God!

I never could understand how anyone could wear pajamas to bed. They are so restricting. I just wear underwear. Close to the body, so they turn when you do. Pajamas are for lounging around the house.

I agree, @Juels!

Flannel PJs and flannel sheets. Just as well be Velcro. Sheesh.

Ihad no idea there were som many versions of THIS

* glomps @Dutchess_III *

I don’t know about you guys but this question and its answers are just ridiculously hilarious.

^^ Good. (its)

@illusionslies

Problem solved: I have the perfect solution for you. Simply buy the ones on the top left rather than the top right side.

Regardless of where you wear them, no one will ever know the difference.

I have several pairs in black and have even worn them to casual restaurants (along with a jacket) and never even been glanced at sideways (and certainly never laughed at). They’re super comfy for either sleeping or just hanging out at home.

I wear plaid ones for sleeping and solid color ones the rest of the time both in the house and out. As long as I don’t wear the plaid ones to the store, how on earth would anybody know?

http://www.hanes.com/clothing/men/pajamas---lounge

@Dutchess_III heehee.
Welcome back.

I have a headache!

Thanks @longgone. :)

I have always worn underwear with pajamas. Since I was a kid. Must be a mom taught thing. I never thought any different.

@anniereborn Under a nightgown or long T I did too, but are you saying under pajama shorts or pants you still wear them? I don’t know, I like giving my bikini line a rest. I think it even reduces ingrown hairs. I am not especially prone to them, but just another too much information I thought I would share. Maybe now girls wax and laser so much it isn’t part of their thought process.

I wear them under everything @JLeslie.

@Dutchess_III Interesting. I worked for two different lingerie companies and never had this come up.

I want to ask a separate Q asking jellies if they wear underwear with pajamas.

@JLeslie I wear them under everything and anything besides swimwear. (Or lingerie type stuff, which I haven’t worn in years).

And I don’t have to worry about in grown hairs. I am au naturale. (And I’m 45, so I don’t have a young girl thought process)

@anniereborn I’m 45 also. As I have grown older I am more uncomfortable leaving my underwear on all night. I think because I am heavier than when I was young? Or, maybe I just have been wearing lougewear type pj’s for so long now I am used to it. When I was young I just wore long t’s and my underwear.

Do you change your underwear for sleep? Or, wear the same ones you wore all day?

Do it! Do it @JLeslie! Ask the question! Better you than me.

I’ve gone the other way…I’m more likely to wear underwear than I was when I was younger. I just think of all the ick.

Welcome to Fluther, @anniereborn. The place where conversations take the strangest turns!

@JLeslie It depends on if I have bathed before bed. If so, then I put on new undies. If not, i generally wear the same ones. Sometimes I change them depending.

@Dutchess_III same here

@Dutchess_III LOL. I don’t have any ick at night. I’m horizontal.

I wear comfy, cotton Hanes panties under my pajama pants. I never thought anyone would consider this weird until I read this question.

My thunders are comfortable too @jonsblond.

Oh, my, oh my. The things we learn!

@JLeslie I think you’re right about ingrown hairs. For YEARS I refused to wear shorts. I only wore blue jeans, and my legs were covered with little black circles where ALL the hairs were under skin. I started wearing shorts, and that completely disappeared.

@ibstubro I’m very lucky. I never have to shave my legs. They are pretty hairless. And what little hair I do have is very very light. Thank you mom! Okay, you can all hate me now.

I never thought about ingrown hairs on my legs, I was just talking bikini line.

@annieborn Lots of undies. I would need 20 pair for a weeks vacation at that rate. As it is I bring extra in case we change after being out all day. LOL.

So…is it safe to assume that those who wear their jammies in public aren’t wearing any underwear?????!!!!!!????????????

I love how this is happening in the “General” section :P

I wasn’t measuring your bloomers, @JLeslie! lol

I was trying to confirm your suspicions that hair, constantly constrained, seems to ingrow.

“They” just haven’t caught us yet @anniereborn…wait for it!

I would say it is logical that if the hair can’t grow out, it grows in @ibstubro

@ibstubro I appreciate it. :)

@Dutchess_III when I wore jeans exclusively, the hair on my legs was clearly visible as little black rings in my legs. I think it broke off and the skin just healed over.

But, yeah, I’d say that’s logical.

:-)

@anniereborn Yep. I hate you. lol
I wear undies always. 99% of the time it’s a thong.
How does one get ingrown hairs on their legs?

OMG! Thongs!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lol. I think I’m going to have to try a thong one day… just to determine whether or not it is in fact the “voluntary wedgie” that I assume it is.

@glacial I tried one, once. I hated it because it tickled back there where I don’t want nuthin’ ticklin’!

@snowberry And I hadn’t even considered that! Haha.

I don’t wear thongs, because I’m no longer a teenager.

I am, however, out and about today wearing these in black, with a heavy metal band tee-shirt.

Arguably pajamas, I suppose.

Haven’t noticed any funny looks, but then, the other three people in the library look like they just stepped out of 1987 – mullet, paedophile moustache, windbreaker pants and all.

You went to a LIBRARY? What’s that?

It’s the place where high speed internet, free-rental-DVDs, and books on how to write a freelancer resume live

@Seek_Kolinahr Those are more of a loungewear than pajamas in my book. I wear that stuff all over town. In TN not many people wore that sort of thing, more conservative up there, but here n Fla…we are more relaxed as you know.

@Seek_Kolinahr Oh. I haven’t been to a library for so long. I love them. I think I’ll take a couple of the grandkids to ours and just hang out for a while.

I don’t know why I feel this way but for some reason I feel like it’s somehow more acceptable for a girl to go out in pajama pants vs a guy. I think part of it may be that I see girls do it far more often at school so it doesn’t strike me as odd. I think another part may be that girls can get away with having crazy patterns on their pants where most guys just look silly.

I don’t get the crazy patterns thing.

All of my pajamas, lounge pants, yoga pants, athletic shorts, etc. are black. Plain black.

My husband wears sweats and loungewear out sometimes. I think that is different than if he wears his drawstring flannels. Juicy Couture sells what some people seem to be calling pajamas for over $100 a set, and it isn’t meant to be slept in.

@Seek_Kolinahr Still in that goth phase eh? :P

Phase?

LOL @glacial ‘Voluntary wedgie’ it IS. I tried a pair once for the very same reason. SURELY I was missing something! Couldn’t feel like it LOOKS? But no, thongs are just as comfortable as they look, too me.

LOL @glacial ‘Voluntary wedgie’ it IS.

I solve this problem by wearing nothing at all to bed. :p

Also:

[mod says] This question has been moved to the Social Section with the permission of the asker. Enjoy!

If you’re wearing PJs in public and people keep looking down at you, check your fly or, um, level of excitement?

:-D

@Seek

For me, as noted with the link i posted above. I also make sure my outdoor lounge pants are black and save the plaids for bed (even tho they’re the EXACT same garment).

And both have pockets ; pajamas usually don’t.

Go figure :)