Is courtesy, politeness, and manners, among strangers still alive and well?

I was addressed by every woman I spoke to today as “Sir”. I am coincidentally asking a female friend if I come off as too formal just as I read this question.

Maybe irl, but not on the internet.

I’ve been trying of late to smile more and make eye contact with people and I almost always get one in return. And basic courtesy seems to get repaid in kind. At times I tend to go through the day with an intense focus on what I’m doing and I notice that tends to intimidate others, so I try to soften that up. But I think most people, including the young people, like to be noticed and will interact if given the opportunity.

That “It’s all about me” self-centered mentality is certainly epidemic, and I don’t think many will argue that. But I see signs of hope nearly every day.

This morning, as I walked toward the gym entrance, I was much farther away than the usual “courtesy distance” at which someone might normally hold the door for you. But a very attractive young woman waited and held the door for me anyway.

So they’re still out there….

I can’t speak for everywhere and everyone, obviously, but for me personally, (very small community), I hold doors open for others, address my elders as “ma’am” and “sir” (but that’s a southern thing, I think), and generally help people when they need it. A lot of that just comes with living in an area where pretty much everybody knows everybody else.

Maybe in cities it’s different as people are so busy and don’t know each other as well? I really don’t know. Haven’t lived in a “city” in a long time. I do still believe that most human beings are decent people; whether or not they’ve been taught basic manners is another thing.

My 6 and 4 year old grandsons are being brought up to say please, may I, excuse me and thank you. They hold doors for people (men and women both) and they ask “can I help you?”

Just this weekend, one of them saw a woman drop something out of her bag and picked it up for her. This is not unusual behavior in our experience.

@laurenkem I’ve told a couple of New York City courtesy-on-the-street stories here recently, so will not bore everyone by repeating them. Although people in large cities are (understandably) more guarded while on the street, I have no doubt that the same ratio of them will step-up and help you when you really need it as people will anywhere else…

@OneBadApple Glad to hear it! Good to know that kindness prevails in this scary world.

Good to see,I hold the door for people when at a business,but have had men and women alike just a few feet ahead not bother,at time have had people barge in line saying they were in a huge hurry and couldn’t wait,countless times have been cut off in traffic,and so on,but it is good to see the manners are still alive out in the real world.

I think so yes. Manners are a great tool for building networks and networks could prove invaluable. Having social etiquette and social ability shows you are an effective personality to have around.

No! Hell no! I work in retail and up until the past year I had no idea how rude people could be. I’m not going to say everybody is rude, but I’m guessing some people must have been raised by wolves. There is really no excuse for bad manners and/or rudeness.
I’d like to tell some people to fuck right off.

@Katniss What happened to the customer is always right?

Notalwaysright.com

Alive, yes, but struggling weakly for wellness. I have had occasion to observe that location has some say in this. For instance, large communities tend to a live and let live attitude unless something bad happens. Then they bunch up and reform as a community for a time. Small communities tend toward a brotherhood sisterhood outlook overall, but do a lot of gossip.
I lived in a community where people moved about in their own bubbles, pretty much oblivious to most outside their immediate personal sphere. I won’t say where, but I blame their behavior on the fact it is a community largely dependant on tourist trade. My daughter, now a tween, grew up in that community, knowing no other. She was constantly embarrassed that I would politely greet all we encountered as I walked her to and from school each day. When I first began, the beginning of her kindergarten year, people looked at me like “What’s YOUR game?”, though some fumbled back a weak “Hello”. As time went on, some responded, some nodded, most at least made eye contact. There was a little boy I had greeted with “Good morning, sir”, who never missed an opportunity thereafter to greet me… he really liked those “Sirs”. Some mothers would return a pointed “Good morning”, looking at their own children to see if they were getting it. All the while, my daughter begged me to quit my habit.
Some people amused themselves by trying to beat me to the moment. One man didn’t know any english, but each day he tried to say “Good morning” well. He started taking pride in his results and even if he was across the street when he saw me he’d call out his greeting. I count my day of total success as being a morning into my third year of greeting the school. I was approaching a crosswalk, coming towards me was coming a woman and her children. The baby in her stroller grasped the safety bar across the front of his stroller, and pulled himself into a partial standing position. His eyes bugged out like he had a mean gas bubble. He shouted out a baby, “Mornging!”, and sat back smiling. I returned with a very enthusiastic, “And good morning to you!”
My point, it’s there, but some communities need humanity CPR to revive it.
@Katniss, I am sending out 100 hugs to you. I hope it helps.

I think it depends where you go. I lived in several cities where it’s an “every man for himself” atmosphere. I’ve also lived in smaller towns where people will hold doors for you, smile as you pass by, and even give a quick hello sometimes. Those occurrences are so rare that I actually feel awkward when someone does acknowledge me in passing. I start thinking they have some sort of ulterior motive.

LOL! @ItalianPrincess1217, that we were writing at the very same time.

@Adirondackwannabe Is it right for the customer to stand there and verbally abuse me because they procrastinated and I can’t drop everything I’m doing to accommodate them? I’ve had people go to my manager and bitch because I told them they were going to have to wait their turn. Luckily he has my back. The customer is only right when they’re not a fucking asshole. lol I realize we all have bad days and I realize that I don’t know what is going on in their lives, but I have bad days too. I don’t take it out on other people. In my opinion, there is no excuse for bad behavior in public. I can’t wait for Black Friday. Ugh! Now, aren’t you glad you asked?? :0)

@Jonesn4burgers You’re very sweet. Thank you. :0)

@ItalianPrincess1217 Ulterior motives? Right?? I feel like that too sometimes.

@Katniss LMAO. But can I have a little of my ass back? Remind me not to piss you off. :)

lol @Adirondackwannabe You know I love you. :0)
Some customers take advantage of the “customer is always right” nonsense. Honestly, when I have a customer that comes in in a real bind, I will go out of my way to help them if they are polite about it. The customers who come in and throw their weight around are the ones who piss me off and bring out the evil.

@Katniss I know what you mean. Some people have way too much attitude. And the cell phones have made them that much more pleasant.

@Adirondackwannabe Ohhhhhh! The cell phone people. Are you really so damned important that you can’t get off the phone for 5 minutes while I try to help you?? I really get pissed of by those people. I had a lady get angry with me because I was assisting other customers while she was on her phone. “I was here first!” Whatever lady. Get off your damn phone.

Glad to see it’s not just me or where I live,and some people I do think were raised by wolves.

Awhoooooo! I was raised by wolves, but somehow learned to walk upright eventually. I wished for cell phones to be invented as a child because of the emergency contact aspect. I recall being stranded in a scarey situation and wished someone would invent phones which would function like walkie talkies. I sure never expected so many people to mistake them for brain implants though!

@OneBadApple Awesome link – thank you for that look into how some people act!

Here you go. There is hope.
http://now.msn.com/isaac-theil-subway-rider-lets-stranger-nap-on-his-shoulder-in-viral-picture