Why is she ignoring me this way?

Maybe you insulted her too well. She obviously doesn’t know what she wants. Who really wants to be insulted? Be happy she’s ignoring you.

Because Bitches be crazy?

Women do that because it f*ckin works. Don’t reward bad behavior. Let it go.

How did you insult her? Was it by text?

Dude, my guess was she wanted to be gently teased, not insulted. You need to be able to see her and completely interact with her if you’re doing something like this. Because you’re messing with her self image and her self esteem. If you go too far she’ll be hurt. Go to her if she means something to you and apologize and ask what is up.

Is this the quiet one or the one that was self-conscious about her ladybits?

@Seek_Kolinahr Neither, I hung out with her about 3 times.

Well, future reference – No one wants to be insulted. Especially when they’re asking for it.

Rookie mistake, bro.

I’d love to know what your insult was. I think that’ll probably answer the question real quick.

What man thinks that women mean everything they say? The correct answer to her request: “I honestly can’t think of anything insulting to say about you.”

According to @Seek_Kolinahr, she’s not the only woman you’re juggling, so who cares? Onto the next.

Just remember in future not to insult anyone even by accident. Now the only option left is to apologize and give her some space or else she will give you hell. No one can understand what is happening inside a women’s brain. It’s an amazing quality through which she’s able to tolerate and struggle simultaneously.

@livelaughlove21 I told her that she was a stupid kid who doesn’t have any valid opinion of her life or life in general, and that she is a waste of space.

@illusionslies Wow! That’s really really really mean. Even if she asked you to insult her, and some most of us find that hard to believe, you should not have done it.

I can’t imagine someone asking to be insulted. The only thing I can guess, is that you misunderstood her to an unimaginable degree, or she was actually flirting with you and fishing for a compliment from you. She was probably hoping you’d say something like, “Hey Jen, you’re really nice/cute/smart. I can’t think of anything bad to say about you. Plus I like you and I’d never insult someone who I like, silly.”

That is what you should have said.

I was just re-reading some of your other Q’s and you seem to have a bit of a problem with social nuances, are into some dark subjects, and have Norman Bates as your avatar. Are you possibly somewhere on the Asperger’s spectrum?

Maybe you could have a chat with one of your close/good friends or a family member to see if they notice how things that you say, often get you into hot water with friends and potential romantic partners. They might be able to guide you a little bit on what to say, and how to say it, what kinds of things to avoid saying (so as not to insult anyone, or hurt their feelings).

With this particular girl, if you happen to see her, give her a humble apology, and then leave her alone.

@Kardamom “Even if she asked you to insult her, and some most of us find that hard to believe -” You’re suggesting that I might be lying? What would my purpose be exactly?

She asked me to insult her via text, and I rejected saying maybe in real life, and she insisted. She said she likes it.

And no, Kardamom I don’t have Asperger sendrome.

Ah. Why, in our society, it is assumed that a person has some named ‘condition’ when he/she is simply too honest/unusual/real?
I think the main question should be this.
One of the reasons why I am weird is because I don’t have much of an alter-ego.

Why would a girl ask me to insult her? I just don’t think this has something to do with me. She asked for it, I told her. I did like her, and I’m confused as to why she is ignoring me. Okay, now I understand bit more clearly that my insult was uh, very very very mean as you say. But she did insist and I didn’t think much of it! What was I going to say?

I agree that what I said wasn’t nice, but how can an insult be nice?

@illusionslies Take it easy. I didn’t say you were lying. I’m suggesting that you might have misunderstood her (drastically). You say in your details on this Q that you had “mis-communication thing going on” so that leads me to believe that you misunderstood.

Also, just because she asked/demanded/begged to be insulted doesn’t mean you should have done that. I don’t know how old you are, but most people know better than that.

If she really did specifically ask to be insulted, then I worry that this young lady may have some mental issues.

I think she is ignoring you, because you hurt her feelings. What you said was extremely mean. What should you have said? Read my answer again. She was probably fishing for a compliment. It’s kind of like when a woman asks if her butt looks fat in those pants, she really wants a reassurance that she does not look fat.

I have no idea what you mean when you say, One of the reasons why I am weird is because I don’t have much of an alter-ego.

The reason I asked about Asperger’s syndrome, is because some of our Fluther members do suffer from it from one degree or another, and your responses remind me of some their kind of responses, mostly the not “getting” what other people are trying to tell them, because the nuances of human communication get in the way. That’s all.

@Kardamom I agree with everything you’ve said.
I don’t follow social norms only because they are ‘appropriate’. I use empathy and critical thinking, but mostly I go by how I feel. Which is usually what others won’t ‘expect’. I have always been the one who speaks before silence (causing the silence). But the difference between me and people who suffer from the syndrome is I know how to act/behave appropriately in social situations, it’s just that I choose not to. (In most cases at least). And it hasn’t affected my life terribly so far, just incidents like this one every now and then but that’s it.

I will have to apologize to her, and ask her why she told me to insult her if she didn’t want to be insulted. I know that the things I’ve said were mean, and I knew that she wouldn’t necessarily ‘enjoy’ hearing them. But I just gave her what she simply asked for in that moment in time. Texting can be very tricky, too. I don’t think I would ever insult her this way in person.

Is there a way to make her respond to my text? I called her, she didn’t pick up. I don’t know how to reach her. I already said I was sorry. What else can I say to her that’ll make her respond?

You may not have Aspergers, but you do have a serious problem: you have not one single clue how to talk to a woman. Why would you tell her she was a “waste of space” if you like her? Of all the insults you could’ve thrown her way, you choose to tell her that she’s useless and might as well not exist. Just be glad it was via text, because I might’ve slapped the shit out of you if you said some stupid shit like that to me. She has no reason to think you like her.

You blew it, dude.

I think you insulted her badly & now she hurts so much.

You can’t make her respond.

Waste of space? What the hell is wrong with you? I mean, I an socially awkward, but this is absurd.

Even worse, you did it by text, which has no nuance, and cannot convey sarcasm.

Future reference again – by text, only say EXACTLY what you mean to say. It’s not like you don’t have the option to delete and start over.
Seriously, bro… wow.

Social norms exist for a reason. I suggest you learn to use them.

@illusionslies I was thinking maybe you hit the worst possible insult. You far exceeded my expectations.

@illusionslies Duuuuuude!! “A waste of space”? That’s pretty harsh. Although, I have to wonder what’s wrong with her for asking you to insult her in the first place.

You took the request too literally and now she’s hurt by it. The entire thing sounds pretty ridiculous and immature on both ends in my opinion. I can’t imagine asking a guy to insult me on purpose. And I also can’t imagine being that rude to someone who asked to be insulted, unless I really disliked them. So do you honestly feel that way about her? Do you feel like she’s truly a waste of space? If so, simply let her go.

@illusionslies You said, I know how to act/behave appropriately in social situations, it’s just that I choose not to.

The reason that we have social norms, and manners, is so that we can avoid hurting other people, or to avoid being misunderstood, or to avoid creating tension and drama and pain for no reason.

If you continue to behave like that, you are likely to cause a world of hurt to yourself and others. It’s unlikely that you will be able to find, or hold down a job.

It’s unlikely that you will ever find a mate, unless it’s with someone who’s so pathetically messed up emotionally, that you will just end up in a relationship in which you are abusing the other person.

Why would you want to act like a jerk, just to act like a jerk?

You may not have Asperger’s syndrome, but it sounds like you have some serious, potentially damaging mental issues that need to be worked out with a therapist.

You never did mention how old you are? Are you still in High School, because that is was I guessed. Do you still live with your parents? Are they OK with you acting like a jerk?

You can’t make that girl respond back to you. What you did (even if she asked you to do it) was mean and stupid. She probably thinks you’re a jerk and has no interest in talking to you ever again, even if you did apologize. Please just leave her alone.

@Kardamom I never said I act like a jerk. Acting real doesn’t mean acting like a jerk. That would be a sad world.

I’m not going to put up with your hidden insults. If you want to suggest something or help the way you tried to, you should know more about me than what I told you with a couple of words. Because what you’re suggesting is quite big.

A girl asked you to insult her and you obliged? For pete’s sake, she needed you to say something nice. I guess you hardly say nice things to her and she just didn’t know how to tell you that, so she asked for the insult. Apologize profusely and wait for her to get it outta her mind. I don’t think she will though.

Make (or get) for her a card that says you didn’t understand she didn’t really want you to say something insulting, and that you just made up something mean but you don’t really think those things, and say how you feel about it and request what you want instead. Might help.

“Acting real doesn’t mean acting like a jerk.”

No, but “I’m just acting real” is a very common excuse for acting like a jerk. Or to put it another way, “people who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty” (Richard Needham).

But I don’t think you’re “acting real.” What you’re doing is acting like nobody else is real, which is also called “egocentrism.” Open your eyes to the fact that everyone you see is living a life as vivid and complex as your own. It might help you see how people fit together.

” if she asked to be insulted, why is she ignoring me? I gave her what she wanted”...

Of course you did and that’s exactly what she wanted especially if she asked you to do this in front of others and texting is open to any eyes. This way, to others, she isn’t being seen as the bad guy while you are with your insulting ways. It takes away all the insults she would have for you in order to break ties which is probably what she wanted all along.. this way she plays the victim. Forget her, find those who appreciate you.

when a girl does that she needs attention..