A long term married couple divorce. Is it usually the man's fault? Is that what society, even in the face of 'equality for women', still feels about the typical divorce?

I would never assign blame/ take sides in divorce as no one knows what happens between two people except those two people.

I don’t think there is a societal judgment. People don’t form opinions on things like divorce from some societal standard.

(There is a bias in the Family Courts towards custody of children to the mother, but that is a different issue from “blame”.

Most states have modern laws on “no-fault” divorce. And of all the women I have met that are divorced, it is the woman who has decided they didn’t want the marriage anymore.

There are gazillions of factors that lead to divorce. I divorced my ex after 22 years due to his character issues and other infidelities which were part of his extreme narcissism and sense of male entitlement. In my generation ( I am 54 ) there was still a huge amount of sexism. Men wanted you to bring home the bacon and still cater to them in every way, per the fucked role modeling of the 1950’s nuclear family scene.

I was “expected” to make money, raise our daughter, take care of the home and be a porn star in between. My ex had the mindset, expressed between lip service to the contrary, that he was still “superior” to me because he earned the money, or later, more money than I did and that the “man” was the tribal chief to be deferred to.

Sure, I take responsibility for certain things, but his issues were the deal breakers not mine. Mental and emotional issues and fucked up programming are not gender specific and while two people can and do, often grow apart, as the relationship progresses, much of the time peoples personal problems are where the fault lies. Women are certainly catching up in the infidelity arena but, historically more males than females take the cheaters path and subscribe to a sense of male “entitlement.”
Stereotypes do contain more than a grain of “truth” in a lot of situations.

Younger men are often less mature than women, have a harder time relating on an emotional level and often neglect their relationships for the pursuit of career.

Divorce favours the woman. Women get very good financial deals from divorce. I used to work in a Matrimonial department in a Solicitors.

When I dumped my wife, I noticed the following general “Social Rule regarding divorce”

If the girl leaves it can only be because the guy is an asshole
If the guy leaves it can only be because the guy is an asshole.

Thus, the guy is always…

I think every case is different. Women, for the most part, have better established support networks than men have developed so that may be why they are seen to be more empathized with. .

I blame Obama.

@Blondesjon Obamacare, Kathleen Sebelius, gay marriage, and quite possibly the crack smokin mayor of Toronto.

When my long term marriage (20+ years) broke up, it was pretty much 100% my fault. I decided to end our marriage and filed for divorce. Everyone pretty much knew it was me and placed the blame squarely on my shoulders, which I accepted. Pretty soon though they all figured out that I divorced him because he is a jerk.

There’s nothing more private or intimate than a personal relationship. Nobody really knows what happens between two partners. I wouldn’t even attempt to offer an explanation.

I agree with @zenvelo in that there doesn’t seem to me to be a societal judgment on either sex for divorce. Every couple is different. I can understand your feeling like “the evil man” around her friends, but not all women are going to see you this way… unless they found out that you really are evil. ;)

The most valuable members of society have as a characteristic, a courageous willingness to step outside the box of preconceived limitations. How else do we move forward?

For every new idea, there is a gaggle of hanger’s on that oppose it. That is because their sense of security and order is bound up in what they think they have figured out. For them, there is safety in numbers. You won’t find a one wending their way through the wilderness on a path forged of their own unique convictions. They are pack animals.

Therefore I would say, what does it matter what anyone else thinks? One would have to study the statistics of the issue to truly know. Otherwise we are merely sharing speculations.

As well, how could the answer to that question make the slightest difference in your own scenario?

I would say, never look to others for self confirmation. Follow your own heart. Our society has left one cultural stigma after another behind through the centuries. That is called growth and progress, but it has never occurred without the clingers on, afraid of the unknown and looking to one another for validation of their shared imprisonment.

Be the change you want to see in the world and don’t look back for permission. You won’t find it in the lowest common denominator.

Appreciate all the great answers! And since I work with a predominantly female work force who tend to be over the age of 40 and tend to carry older cultural stigmas, it does impact me. I work in a support role to them, and having their respect is important and helpful. I need to continue to conduct myself in positive ways.