How important is politeness to you?

It is very important, especially during disagreements. My experience is that we live in an increasingly violent society, populated by more and more disturbed people. Widespread substance abuse has exacerbated this problem in the past few decades. Things can easily escalate out of control and they do: witness all the beatings, people going ballistic in the middle of the street, gunplay over parking spaces, over mild arguments. By approaching people and problems politely, we put as many emotional stages as possible between us and a crisis.

It’s pretty important. I tend to emphasize appreciation more than how things are asked. I’m not saying that is the right way to be, just saying that is how I tend to be. If someone doesn’t use please it doesn’t bother me as long as someone asks in a calm and otherwise polite way. But, when someone does something nice for us, I am a big believer in saying thank you, and showing our appreciation in other ways if possible.

Other etiquette rules are there not only to make everyone comfortable, but also so we don’t have to guess what to do in social situations.

Very important, and sadly, it is rarer and rarer in politics, in the media, and in daily life.

Very important , being polite is a sign of being civilized .
=)

Politeness and good manners is very important in today’s world. I was raised to be polite to everyone. In my personal experience, being polite gives you a better self-esteem and you will get more respect from others. We must also teach our kids such social graces from an early age. Polite behavior will really help our kid’s social development.

Extremely.

I already knew this but my temporary exile in NYC has brought the point home even more.

In another online forum it was suggested that NYC should give up on trying altogether.

I stated that If the Japanese can bother to step out of each others way in Shibuya, Tokyo then New Yorkers can fucking do it too.

I’m also terribly spoiled by the politeness I experienced living in Atlanta as well.

Politeness is like keeping a proper distance from the car in front of you:

It’s effect is so critical yet it as easy to do as falling of a log.

Dr Lecter found rudeness so appalling that subjecting him to it could get you killed.

Politeness? Not very. Rather than people knowing whom to adress as “Sir”, I would like to see more real compassion and kindness.

Good manners never go out of style and being polite , asking instead of taking, being aware of others in public, being helpful, courteous and friendly are all extremely important social skills.
One of my pet peeves, oblivious people. Drives me nuts!
I dropped a friend a few years ago that never ASKED and simply just manipulatively ANNOUNCED how things were going to be.

I insisted she ASK me before ANNOUNCING her own agenda and she couldn’t handle it because, of course, that would have meant she could no longer manipulate me. Game over. lol

There are different aspects of politeness. Part of it is pro forma and is related to having good manners. Say please when making a request, say thank you if someone has helped you, don’t cut off people when they are speaking, etc.

There is another aspect of politeness that relates to if and how to make complaints. For example, suppose you order soup at a restaurant and you find that it is not hot enough. There are some who would say that is impolite to say anything and others who would request that the soup be reheated. This is just one example. There are many others related to annoying things that people do and whether and under what circumstances you should speak to them about it.

@longgone I agree with this. Politeness only matters to me if it is genuine, and not tacked on.

Not very. Politeness is important to those with authoritarian and hierarchical ideologies. Many people in positions of formal authority expect to hear “Yes, sir” and “No, ma’am” from the people they shit on, and can’t stand it when they are treated as equals. This validates their authority, and conditions those below them to comply with their urges. Schools realize this and force students to call teachers and administrators by honorifics like Mr. and Ms., a tactic that has to do more with conditioning than with learning. People born into wealth often expect regal deference. In small towns, there are complex if unspoken codes of etiquette to create limits and a sense of place; people have to cope with the fact that everyone has dirt on everyone else and that a small number of people are probably in charge of most of the local institutions.

Large cities are simply too diverse and complex for the hierarchical codes of etiquette found in villages and families, so such useless formalities are often dropped. This is why provincials often find large cities to be “rude.” Basically, there is too much freedom. Though often not enough in my view .

Politeness, good manners and respect for others are necessary for civilised living. It costs nothing and is almost always reciprocated. It has nothing to do with servility in my view. In fact quite the opposite, it flourishes best when we recognise that we are all essentially equal.

Politeness is merely respect for one’s fellow man. If a situation requires a protocol that raises the bar a little higher, who cares? It is humane to be polite. It is an acknowledgment that you recognize value in others, and have the grace and refinement to express it.

There’s no glory in adding more coldness to the world. What does one prove by being rude? It is self indulgent to allow one’s own misery to bleed into the hearts around you. It speaks to a sense of personal alienation from a natural, intuitive harmony we all share when our emotional issues don’t clutter it up.

There will always be the bulls in the china shop. They only draw attention to their clumsiness.

With all of the cruelty, violence and suffering in the world, being polite is almost a superpower. Its one we all possess, it takes little effort, and it has a way of having a dominoes effect that impacts a day in a positive way.

How could anyone have a problem with that?

Honestly, it completely depends on the person and the situation.

It is very easy to be habitually respectful and polite, and I think that we all have a moral obligation to at least try to maintain that habit every day. While I was still working, the following two comments were made to me multiple times by different co-workers over the years:

“You are always so polite.”
“You never say anything bad about other people.”

I never made big money, so I guess the above will have to suffice as my professional legacy…

VERY important. Being polite is a sign of being civilized.

It is very important and I have had to adapt to the versions of politeness in different cultures and it is more subtle and striking than I ever thought.
Here is an example comparing English to Norwegian politeness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4ORBVOFExc

@cazzie Baahaha I remember that.