Anyone here not buy into the whole crazy gift giving thing at Christmas?

Oh, I don’t want to. But the kids….you just can’t let them down. But I’m trying to make it as easy as possible on myself.

It’s just too commercial for me at this point in my life, and I’d rather pay a bill for someone or take them to a nice dinner than give them crap they won’t use.

In my family we don’t do it at all. My mom and dad still send me a Chanukah check though. If we had young children in the family for sure we would all buy gifts for them. But, that’s Chanukah, not Christmas.

In my husband’s family we only do it if we are together, we never send gifts through the mail, except I send checks to my neice and nephew. I do usully wind up buying a little gift for a friend or two, but it is usually some sort of unique circumstance that year in particular and not a habitual thing.

I’m way off from where I was when I was younger. My family of origin went through a re-examination when we started having kids, for a while the grown up s just drew one name out of a hat, but even that has fallen by the wayside.

I get a big present for the kids (from Santa) I couple of small ones for them (like clothes) and a couple of stocking stuffer types (like camping doo dads and an iTunes card).

The only other person I have bought for in the last six years is my old girlfriend. And I don’t think we’ll be exchanging gifts this year.

@zenvelo I did the drawing a name from the hat thing one year with my inlaws when one of the boyfriends in the family decided it was a better idea than everyone buying gifts. I was really on board at first, but in the end I really didn’t like it. I don’t mind secret santa at work, we did that at one place I worked, that can be fun.

My family went through the hat drawing phase now I just want to forget the entire thing.

I will buy for my niece (she’s 11), and we do a gift exchange with one other person in my family, but that’s it. Partner and I aren’t buying for each other and not buying for friends or rest of family. I like it this way.

@Mama_Cakes Do you like buying for one person in the family? I assume that is the hat draw thing we were talking about. Unless you mean there is only one other person you happen to buy for? Would you rather no gifts exchanged among adults?

I have rules that I used to distribute to my family via a “xmas manifesto”:
– I don’t receive gifts. Period. Anything I receive I will try to return or donate.
– My kids should only receive a max of 2 gifts each. Ideally, the gifts are experiences (a trip to a museum, etc).

Originally, it included a detailed description of my anti-consumerism. But it had to become more concrete as the kids got older. Eventually, I just scrapped it completely. I realized that there are people (my mother) who just won’t follow simple requests. I’ve learned a great deal from the experience.

- Not accepting gifts is offensive to some people because it robs them of something that is important to them: shopping.
– Receiving a gift can be a gift itself, as it provides people the excuse they need to engage in unhealthy, compulsive shopping.
– Many people feel that parents shouldn’t have the right to curate their kids’ toys.

My wife and I do a pretty decent job at keeping things real within our house. The amount of gifts our kids get from “santa”/us is nothing compared to their friends. Also, the whole “transaction” of xmas means cleaning house of some of our older toys (donate) in order to bring in the new shit.

Xmas is a tough time for me emotionally, because it brings up different emotions. Some of my earliest memories of feeling intense alienation and sadness were on xmas. I believe I was around 9 years old when I first gathered up all of my gifts in the evening when things were winding down. I sat there staring at all of that crap and felt nothing but a deep emptiness and sadness. For a month I had anticipated getting all of these possessions. Now that I was surrounded by them, I wanted nothing more than to simply throw them out my window. And I felt guilty for feeling that.

@JLeslie It’s the draw names in a hat thing. If I had my way, we would only buy for the kids.

I have a six year old so I really have limited choices in that department.

I have few people I buy for, otherwise. I give money to my adult sister, usually we chip in for a gift card or restaurant card for the parents (who can easily afford whatever else they need so don’t need much in the way of goods), and there are a few other people I buy for, but try to keep it simple.

I don’t like gift giving that is opened in front of everyone in general anyway. I don’t like it at showers and I don’t like it at Christmas. I don’t like it being anything close to a compeition or show. The young children are different, and there is no demand on them to buy anything.

@tom_g Are your kids fine with all of that?

@JLeslie: ”@tom_g Are your kids fine with all of that?”

Sure. They have never complained. But if they did start to complain, it would be a good opportunity for learning. They know our values concerning consumerism, but that doesn’t mean that some day that will not come in conflict with some object they want to own. So far, however, it has not happened.

Me now. I used to go crazy for my kids and Ex but now I keep it much simpler. Usually give my kids some money for something they want and a few little things for the grandson in Paris. A nice tip for my hairdresser; some cookies for the staff room…....

The Ex used to send out Christmas cards; maybe he still does. I’ll probably send a few over to my English ex-laws.

I only like it when people actually have sentiment in what the presents they are giving people. Companies and their consumers have distorted it into a materialistic paradise. I don’t like having a lot of stuff anyway, so people that know me know I don’t really care to get most types of gifts. I have enough and am happy with it.
But then there’s the dilemma of my obligation to buy other people gifts…

I don’t buy into it because I can’t afford to. No gifts this year…

Christmas shouldn’t be only for those who can afford it. :( :(

We stopped years ago. I do give my niece’s three little boys a crisp bill or two in a card for their college funds. My oldest great-nephew can now distinguish between a newly minted $1.00 bill and a $100 one.

I often buy an unbirthday something for someone if I see it. While my daughter was here recently, she noticed that my few remaining soup bowls were chipped She picked up 6 pretty hand-thrown ones in town done by a local ceramicist. And I paid for her to rent a bike for a month.

Me! I used to spend tons of money I didn’t have, because I wanted people to have nice gifts. Over the years, I’ve come to understand that they never appreciate receiving the gifts as much as I do giving them… the gift is never the point, really. I just try to spend time with people, and share things like food or handmade items if I’m doing them during the holiday season.

I love to give gifts. I buy tons and tons of presents.

Why does your profile show up as being deleted?

I guess I’m not here anymore. One of those things.

I saw that too….?

I’ll be gone soon. Not long to wait.

Why?

This thread isn’t about me nor is it fair to take the coversation away from @Mama_Cakes

@Headhurts But folks can’t PM you… I’m sorry to hear you want to leave; I hope you stay.

It is not fair to derail this thread.

Go ahead and tell us. I don’t care.

I hope you don’t leave @Headhurts .

But as a side question and total derailment, what is this business of people showing up as deleted and still posting? Seems like a glitch.

December has always been a hard month for us. My husband’s flooring work is non-existent between Thanksgiving and tax return season, and my birthday is right after Christmas, so money has to go toward car tags and the like.

Last year was the first year my husband and I spent more than $20 on Christmas gifts for my son, and he’s still ridiculously thankful for the used Wii we bought him. We even bought ourselves a Christmas gift – a Keurig coffeemaker. Which we never actually wrapped, but whatever.

This year… I don’t know. It depends on whether this job of Jason’s comes through.

We might or might not have an opportunity to go skydiving at a deep discount. If that happens, that will be both Christmas and birthday for me.

I think it’s safe to say that it already has derailed. If you don’t want to tell us, say that.

Crazy gift giving, no, but I do recognize my loved ones as best as I can.

When I was a Vogler, our tags were always due at Christmas time. That sucked.

I haven’t done anything the last two holidays and I’m not doing anything this year. I’m getting increasingly tired of going through societal motions. I’m content with being in my apartment, not fake smiling and not wasting money buying things for people that don’t need them.

Christmas is for christians and rich people! lol.

@Blackberry . . . That is why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday of the year. I get a four day weekend, two days of football, and tons of outstanding grub without all the hassle of religion or gift giving.

@Blondesjon I never thought of Thanksgiving that way. Bravo. :)

I’ve already left. I don’t know why I can still post, I’m just playing out my time

Why did you leave?

Everyone ignored every comment I made. Not annoyed, I know I’m hard to get along with

I definitely notice your existence. I’ve lurved you plenty of times. People ignore me sometimes, too. It can be for a variety of reasons. I only expect responses if I direct a comment towards someone, but if they don’t want to answer then that’s their problem. Just move on. For me, it’s not much more different than in real life. Be grateful for the people that don’t ignore you.

@dxs Thank you, that is incredibly nice of you to say. Not much difference for me in real life either

I’ve not ignored you….?

@Headhurts “Everyone ignored every comment I made.”

Your lurve score says otherwise. :)

@Headhurts That’s why there’s Fluther. At least you’re not completely ignored. I’ve found a sense of community here, especially because most people in my real life have different beliefs and ideals than me. Can’t PM you.

@headhurts Auggie can turn your profile on, she did it for me when I left. Only two people noticed I had deleted myself. I don’t know why I was still able to post either. Some sort of glitch.

I stopped a few years ago, for several reasons. Fist of all, I am not religious- I worship neither Christ nor the almighty dollar. Secondly, I hate shopping in general; plus I am picky as are most people I know, so the pressure to find the ‘perfect’ gift is too much. Thirdly, we are fortunate enough to have everything we need and most of what we want.

Instead, if we come across something we think someone would like, we buy it for them then and there instead of waiting for some date on the calendar.

[Mod Says] We have had accounts glitching sporadically when users attempt to disable their accounts. If your intention is to say (as we hope it is!) please contact @augustlan and she can work out the issue.

[Not as a mod] I am not a consistent Christmas gift-giver. Thankfully, nobody expects gifts from me. I don’t make a lot of money and usually only purchase gifts for my immediately family, SO, and my SO’s younger sibling—not out of obligation, but because I enjoy sharing some small token of appreciation with them. I write letters of gratitude to those I care about (though not necessarily holiday-related—I don’t do Christmas cards.)

This will be my last year celebrating Christmas for a while. My SO and I plan on moving and I doubt we will have the money to exchange gifts with each other, let alone our respective families. I don’t plan on pulling out any fancy frills for this last go at the holiday. I’ll stick to my usual budget and try to brainstorm gifts that match their recipient.

I gift my hairdresser, manicurist, mailman, newspaper delivery guy; anyone who provides much-appreciated services and deserves to be thanked. I give them cash. They don’t need more boxes of cookies, bottles of aftershave, or gift cards for franchise restaurants. But, who doesn’t love a crisp, green picture of Ulysses S. Grant or Benjamin Franklin?

I bought into the stress for years when my daughter was small.
My exes family were very well off and insisted on major gift giving. We had 17 people to buy for and there was no compromise. I enjoyed doing the “Santa” thing for my daughter but the rest was nothing but stress, discord between my ex and I, exhaustion and anything but good cheer.

Now that I am divorced the last 11 years it has been a joy to downsize, just decorate a little, no tree, eclectic fun decor. ( One year I decorated a potted palm tree with glass ducklings. haha ) have my daughter and her boyfriend over for Xmas eve snacks, a few gifts, laughs, good conversation, maybe a game.
I don’t miss a thing about all those years of holiday insanity, the programming died an easy death. lol