Will you share your experiences of sickness?

Well, I came down with walking pneumonia a little over a year ago. It had been coming on for several weeks, even months, before it was caught. Long story short, things came to a head on Nov 5th and I was rushed to a Wichita hospital via ambulance. Was in the hospital for 2 weeks. A couple of times they didn’t know if I was going to make it. :( I recovered fully though, although it took some time, several weeks.

I wound up with some short term memory loss, specifically Sept and Oct before my hospital and some parts of the previous summer are spotty. All very strange.
My first “new” memory was of being released from the hospital. My husband took me home. The drive home was very quiet. I turned to him and said, “I don’t know why, but I feel like I’ve lost a good chunk of my life, not just these last two weeks.” That’s when he told me of my memory loss, so I pondered on that a while and realized that fit.

So, I was still pretty sick, confused and pumped full of drugs from the hospital, and much of what I saw I just didn’t quite recognize. We pulled in to our drive way. I only vaguely recognized the house (where I’ve lived since 1999.) I walked in and I distinctly remember thinking how clean it was. I said to my husband, “Wow. It’s clean in here. And somebody has really good taste in decor!” I actually got to see my house, briefly, through the eyes of a stranger, and I liked it. :)

But my stupid boss somehow became convinced that I had been mentally compromised, permanently, and fired me 4 months later. It was like she had come to some conclusion in December, before I even saw her, and determined a course of action then. It got to the point where it became crystal clear that there was nothing wrong with me but….she had determined that course so it was going to happen, come hell or high water. Talk about brainless.

^^ I remember that time, we were all so worried about you, because you had not been on Fluther for a long time and we didn’t know where you went. I was so relieved to hear that you are OK and that you re-joined the collective : )

Were you guys really? Well ((( Thank you)))). However, apparently I was sending random, nonsense emails to Rarebear. He shared one with me. I just wanted to curl up and die. He just laughed.

Even prior to my hospitalization I was undergoing some radical personality changes, for the worse. I had to apologize to about 8 people after I got out. They’d confront me with something I’d done,but didn’t remember. All I could do was say I was sorry, and feel like shit. WillWorkForChocolate was one of them. :( She was acting really strange when I got back. She finally told me why. I sent her a million dollars and 5 hugs and she forgave me.

@Dutchess_III That touches on a very rational fear to admit to other people our weaknesses and afflications. Many people will not only judge us, but also influence or deprive and in this case take away opportunities we have earned.

I was new to fluther shortly before you left us I think and remember the welcome back you got. Since then I have admired your humor, quick wit and knack for creating fun or interesting questions. As well as the wisdom and life experiences you have shared. You are an asset to this site.

Wow! Well, thank you! I’m glad I ain’t daid!

Dutchess, I’m glad too. I enjoy your posts a lot. You have made me feel very welcome.
My accident left me much the same as you were after your illness. I had just moved though. I had been living in a motel until I could get settled. The hospital found a business card in my purse, so they called my job and told them I wouldn’t be at work, and why. They released me from the ER after a few hours. I don’t know why. I didn’t remember where I was staying. I was all alone, nobody to recognize I wasn’t my usual self. I wandered around on crutches for hours, knowing I was hungry, not knowing where to go to eat. I ended getting another room. I had nothing I had to go shopping, but I couldn’t remember how to get anywhere. I took cabs a lot, and I’m sure at least some ripped me off. My money ran out. I still couldn’t read or write. My led was a mess. I had a stutter so bad no one could make sense of what I was saying. Everywhere I went, people belived I was retarded and treated me like a mark. I feel nauseous right now thinking back on it. Before that guy ran me down in the crosswalk, my IQ was in the 140’s. Suddenly I couldn’t read, write, speak understandably, follow a map, comprehend directions given to me. The only one who came to see me was one guy who I’d been working with. He came every day for a few weeks to check my pantry and see if I had eaten yet that day. I would feel hungry, but before I could fix anything, I would forget that I was hungry. No way should I have been in charge of myself, but I had never been unable to care for myself, and I was too damaged to recognize how damged I was. I had to rehab myself, mentally. Physical issues yet linger. I got myself reading again. Somewhere along the way, a social worker or somebody knew of my condition and arrainged for me to be put someplace for a few weeks where I would be looked after. I gained most of my memory from prior to the accident, eventually, though sometimes this or that pops up which I realize is a memory come back home. That period of worst impairment, however, remains a smuge to me.
My daughter came about as a result of my long period of vulnerability. She has been a burden, and a purpose. Thanks to my relentless work teaching her, it has exercised my own gray matter helping along my recovery efforts. I taught my daughter to read when she was three. A few months later, she was congratulated by nearly every governor in the country for having learned all the states by heart, and then their capitols. When she started kindergarten her reading was so ahead of everybody, the school let her spend an hour every day in a second grade class to participate in the readi ng time. Second graders used to come up to me after school and tell them my daughter was in their class. They were very proud of their little tiny classmate. These things helped me a lot, because I’m so….....slow, and clumsy, and old (To be her mom) I get to feeling guilty. I’m always glad for the things I’m able to give her.
I’ll never be recovered completely. I think I’m done. I’m at a point in my life when none of my changes are for the better. I just want my daughter prepaired as well as possible, in case I don’t get to hang around until she’s of age.
Mostly I like to be cheerful. I can’t be active, so when I found Askville, it was a big improvement for my life. Now that I’m here, I’m in hog heaven. Thanks for being here, Fluther..

I developed pyelonephritis and didn’t realize it (had no symptoms at all) until it spread into septicemia and I went into the hospital close to death. The ER doctor said I was lucky I came when I did because if I waited much longer, I probably would have died.

I initially went to the ER with severe pain, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and a fever. The symptoms had started on a Saturday morning, but had eased up before the end of the night, so I thought it was a 24 hour bug. I woke up Sunday morning unable to stand. I had to crawl to the bathroom and then crawl to my phone to call my mom. I remember arriving at the ER and only a few little things after that (like having to drink contrast for a CT and the pain).

I spent a week in the ICU and I don’t remember much of it. I have a few brief memories of people, but nothing definite. I was sedated most of the time because of the pain I was in. My mom was actually starting to figure out getting things together in case I died (like getting custody of my son) because it looked that bad at one point.

After that week in the ICU, I was discharged to go home, but was still too weak to do much. I had to sleep on the sofa in the living room because I was too weak to walk up the stairs. It took another 2 weeks before I was able to go upstairs again. I heard stories from people that came to see me in the hospital about how bad I looked and how grim the situation was while I was in the hospital.

I’m lucky to still be here and I value what I’ve learned from that experience. I have taken care of many patients with septicemia now and feel like I can relate to them on a totally different level as a nurse now. I also share my experience with other nurses, especially ones that are questioning the patient’s pain level.

@Jonesn4burgers Whoa…yours was FAR more serious than mine. When did it happen? Was it before or after you had your daughter? Thank you for sharing that.

I know how it feels to have people treat you like you’re retarded….when you aren’t. Incredibly frustrating and sad. Maybe, though, I now have an insight to racism…..

@Jonesn4burgers that is a very touching story, not everyone has the strength to come back after circumstances you described.

That you have custody of your child despite your struggles is remarkable enough. That she is flourishing is no surprise, a mother of that caliber and that dedicated is a large enough force for anything other result to be unlikely.

Thank you for sharing more about yourself here especially as a new member. I can understand the desire and need to be upbeat and focus on the positive. I look forward to hearing more from you and think fluther is lucky to have you.

@Seaofclouds That sounds very intense. The added burden of having to worry about a child a dependant is a stress I do not understand.

I can emphasize with waiting too long to seek a doctor’s care. Sometimes symptoms are not present or they creep up so slowly and life is so busy one doesn’t have time to filter out the noise until suddenly you realize you can’t and aren’t functioning.

I am glad you use your experience to help you as a nurse and to educate others. I always feel lucky to get a caregiver who have been on the other end or knows someone who has. It makes a big difference to the patients. We may never know how to appropriately thank you but we are.

Thank you Dutchess for pointing out the innate trait to shun those who are apparently different. I have gone through some mentally foggy times myself with pain and medication. I still do need to work on being more open and caring of others who are in similar straits.

I feel cabin fever then the need to hibernate alone… then it cycles back and forth it is frustrating when you don’t have friends who are up at night. It was wonderful in university because their was a social area to hang out and be with others with insomnia, now in this group home i’m alone right now it is a good alone but in an hour or two it will be a bad alone… Name brand cola helps me and I have 5 cans left, till payday on the 27.

This story is just the highlights (or rather the lowlights)- you’re getting the shortened version. There was the time the US Army medical people nearly killed me. I was driving to summer came in the Mohave Desert when I began to experience severe pain. By the time I got to the base I could barely walk. I signed into my unit, and explained that I wasn’t feeling well. They sent me to bed, hoping I’d feel better in the morning. The pain got worse, and the next day I asked someone to take me to the base hospital emergency room. As is typical of the military, they treat their enlisted people like dirt, and they simply knew that because I was a woman in the military, I had to be gold bricking. They never even took my temperature.

I went back to that same emergency department two more times but everyone knew I was still “gold bricking”. Perhaps it was because the last time was in an ambulance, maybe they thought they’d better look closer. Then they noticed I really was sick, so they admitted me. By that time I was dehydrated to the point that the doctors thought I wouldn’t make it. They prepped me for surgery to take out my gall bladder, but my mother managed to show up in time to make them stop. She looked at me and said that I was jaundiced, and asked them to check my liver before they did anything else. It had stopped working, and those idiot “doctors” were going to operate on me anyway!

I spent my summer camp in a 40 woman ward hooked up to IV tubes. The first night I was there, a nurse woke me up and scolded me because I was keeping the other patients awake with my screaming (I was screaming in my sleep from the pain)! When I was finally able to walk, I was on “I and O”, meaning they were supposed to record all my intake and out put. The thing is, they made me measure my own urine and record it before I dumped it in the toilet. And folks wonder why I hate doctors. And hospitals. LOL

I could go on and on, but what’s scary is that these “doctors” were board certified physicians!

Jebus…

@talljasperman That does suck. I have experienced cabin fever and insomnia and it does diminish the quality of life.

@snowberry it is stories like these that make me very wary of the single payer system. The patients are just cogs and are overlooked as inconveniences and it is hard to complain so that it is actually effectual.

Imagine waking up screaming in pain and being censured for it. The idea is sickening.

@Unbroken Yeah, I called ‘em the Gestapo. The nurses especially had the same manners!

You guys…I am floored. I really am. How you made a comeback like you did. I’m in awe.

@snowberry I was befuddled by the term gold bricking. What does it mean?

Playing possum. Acting like you daid when you ain’t. Pretending to be sick to get out of work.

@Unbroken Sorry about that. Gold bricking meaning I was faking illness to get out of work.

Ya. Like, and, that wasn’t a picture of a possum I posted. Well, it WAS a picture of a possum, but it wasn’t my picture. I stole it from the opening scene of a movie that @snowberry starred in called “You’re in the Army Now.”

Lol thanks for the clarification.

That is another valid point if there is something internally wrong people are less likely to sympathize and be skeptical. You’d get more sympathy for easy broken arm then any internal injury. Unless maybe it is the big c. I am not sure on this having no first hand experience but if people think I have cancer then they are ready to rush to my aid when I tell them I don’t they are relieved and assume I must be ok.

Liver conditions mean they get stingy with pain killers. Though in hospitals they generally offer something even if the motivation is they don’t want to be bugged.

Yeah. I guess medical people get hit so much with hypochondria that they don’t recognize serious shit when they see it.

I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks manifest in a variety of ways.

12 years ago, I would constantly feel nauseated and had little to no appetite. I didn’t make the connection at the time that my episodes of nausea were occurring during times of high stress. Being social or going out were usually very difficult.

6 years ago, I had a full blown, classic panic attack: chest pressure, difficulty breathing, feelings of losing my mind and/or dying. The experience was traumatizing and kept me from “living” for quite a while, though I recovered and starting building a life again.

3 years ago, I had a sudden loss of appetite, heavy limbs/fatigue and constant feelings of dizziness or fuzziness in my head. Once again, this causes a cessation of most hobbies and social activities for me. What was most perplexing was that it occurred after a very successful period of psychological rehabilitation and therapy.

What I’ve noticed is that people are concerned when you first mention your symptoms/feelings. However, once a certain amount of time has passed, all sympathy ends. They start to blame you for not getting better or not improving, as if it was a button you were simply refusing to push.

What was wrong @drdoombot? What causes that?

@Dutchess_III

I guess I can’t say conclusively, but I believe it was linked to underlying anxiety and depression.

When I was experiencing my fatigue/dizziness, I refused to admit it was my anxiety because I had recently undergone a CBT program and had seen a therapist who discharged me as “cured.” I was panic-free and much healthier psychologically, so it was very frustrating to have symptoms with no apparent physical or mental cause.

I found a new therapist and talked things out with her, but felt no better after several months. I finally agreed to try an antidepressant, which I had been vehemently opposed to for years. Slowly, the symptoms faded. In addition, the antidepressant took the edge off; I felt less nervous and fearful about certain things. I made some changes in my life: I set new goals, went back to school, etc. I quit the antidepressant about a year ago and I’ve had no recurrence of those symptoms.

I think the key thing here is the life changes I made. Despite feeling much better anxiety-wise, going to the gym, being social, etc., I was directionless. I was unemployed and finding excuses not to study for the LSAT. I decided to take some post-baccalaureate courses and see where they take me. By building a structure around going to school, preparing an application for grad school, etc., I developed a framework for my life that truly dealt with the underlying issues of anxiety that I wasn’t consciously aware of.

Awesome @drdoombot.

@drdoombat stories like that make me wonder how many people suffer in silence, for years.

I am glad you are making a recovery and wish you the best.