Are you pretty good judge of character?

No. And nearly everyone I know who identifies as one ( no offense, @Mama_Cakes, you could be the exception :) ) is usually weaker than average in this area. I have known people who declare that they are a great judge of character, yet struggle mightily to intuit intention in their daily interactions.

I like to think I am, as my first impressions almost always pan out, but I’ve been fooled a few times in RL. Online I assume everyone’s lying to a degree, sorry jellies.

I think I am, usually.
I met a guy once who made it obvious he wanted to have a relationship (or maybe just relations!) with me. After 5 minutes I was like, “This guy is horrible! He’s also a little crazy, I think.” There were a number of other clues so I got him out of my life permanently, even though he was only in it for 5 minutes.
About 6 months later I heard that he shot himself in the head, in the parking lot of a bar, in front of his “girlfriend,” and that his last words were “This is how much I love you!” Boom.

What I don’t understand is how any woman could overlook the warning signs that I saw in just a couple minutes that told me he was unstable.

I am THE judge of character.
And I hate everyone.

We ♥ You, Raggie!

Nope, I misjudge people all the time.

Only in some areas. I seem to have “radar” for the warning signs that someone is unstable and/or I get “bad vibes” sometimes (that I’ve learned to trust!) when someone is truly evil.

However, I have repeatedly misread cues from lecherous types that were hitting on me, and/or not caught on to the less-than-honorable-intentions of some men I’ve worked with (more in the past, when I was younger). My husband figured out my particular naivety (really, clueless-ness) on this front and now he points out to me when I’m not seeing something that I should..and I’ve learned to trust him in that way, too. (Because he’s a guy and he’s been right more often than not when he points out that some guy is gonna be trouble.)

I’m not as good as some people at reading intent on other people’s faces..I think I must be somewhere on the Asperger’s spectrum and so I tend to be too literal (and truthful to a fault)..and therefore, expect other people are being truthful or upfront when they aren’t…
Over time I’ve become much more skeptical and much less trusting. Sad but true.

I used to think so, but I was proven very very wrong on several occasions. Now I pretty much avoid close relationships.

Very poor.

What is the difference really between being a good judge of character, and just being judgmental and quick to conclusions?

^ Accuracy?

Sometimes judging a person’s character can keep us safe @tups. The example I gave is a good example. OK, call me judgmental when I felt the guy was unstable and cut off contact with him….but it turns out I was right.

I think being a good judge of character is probably more vital to women than to men.

I’m pretty good at it. I just let them talk. Most are more than happy to share their unsolicited opinions, observations, reactions to things and through this I see their character. I can tell within minutes if he or she is the type of person I want around me. Most don’t pass muster. And hey, sometimes I’m wrong. But there are seven billion of them, so what the hell.

@tups I hear you on that, sometimes I get a bad first impression, then I give them a chance, then ends up they really weren’t my definition of ‘good people’.

I’m working on a looser definition of ‘good’, and also forgiveness. Sometimes people are real chameleons though, and change to suit circumstances or situations, and some are really good actors for a period of time. It gets lonely being good all by myself sometimes on this high horse…lol

I’m with @Espiritus_Corvus

Just let them babble on and they reveal themselves pretty readily.
I have a neighbor that is catty, gossipy and biased. The stuff she says blows me away. The other day she mentioned she went out to a Sizzler for lunch and couldn’t believe all the fat people that were there!

Really? How rude is that?
I shut her up in her tracks when I said ” Well fat people wear their weaknesses on their body but there are plenty of jerks walking around in regular size bodies. I think she got the point. haha

Not really.

I tend to trust the vibes I get from people, perhaps too much. People are incredibly complex and can always surprise you.

I’m a great judge of character.

My personality picks out incongruities in things. I used to walk a couple miles home from work, and there were days that I came in with 13–15 4 leaf clovers. And that was walking and looking, not pausing but to pick.

I think I sorta do the same thing with people and animals.

@ibstubro Barefoot in the snow with only one sad old baked potato to warm your hands? lol

No, I did it because it was great exercise, it was cheap, it was green and it killed time as I was single. I’d turn down ride offer.

I guess finding a 4 leafed clover made me so lucky I found another.

:)

It got annoying after a while. I couldn’t stop looking. When I saw one, I had to pick it. The flock do you do with 100 4 leafed clovers???

^^^ Haha…make a lucky salad.

Most of the time, I read people very easily.

@WillWorkForChocolate Yep, me too. You’ve got to be an intuitive. Us intuitive types can discern potential compatibility in a nano second. I love you my surrogate daughter, :-)

D’awww. :)

I don’t think so. I drop out at pretty. Can’t be called that. Good? There’s another problem. Judge? Not even close. But I have been told I’m a character. Does one out of four get me there?

BTW, what’s a freakydeak?

Yes, I am.

Working in a bar for over 9 years helped a lot…

@whitenoise That qualifies you as a great judge of spirits, but not necessarily character.

I can sorta tell, by the way they dress I can tell if their nice, bitchy or weird, I can also tell by their face, but sometimes I am wrong, except once I labelled a girl in my class as a bitch and what-do-ya-know? she could win the prize for bitchiest person in the world, out-bitching everyone else, out-bitching should be a word :)

@ETpro

You’d be surprised…

@Seek_Kolinahr But how can we really know if we have judged a person correctly? When can you claim that you know everything about a person, that you can see right through them? I don’t think that is ever possible.

You know after they prove you wrong, I suppose.

I think it’s more than just the way they dress….it’s the way they carry themselves, how quickly and how often they smile, a certain look in their eyes….

@tups Judging someone’s character is different from knowing “everything about a person, that you can see right through them.” If you’re a good judge of character (I am not) your judgment will be validated. Either “I knew I couldn’t trust him” or “I knew she’d come through”.

I agree @zenvelo. If you don’t like a person chances are you’ll never come close to knowing everything about them. You won’t be that close to them.