How can I even talk to this person?
I go to graduate school and not full time. Sometimes, I see this guy which I’m sure is either bi like me or gay. Everything about him makes my mind/heart melt. We took the same elevator once, he was reading the newspaper, baggy clothes, baby-face… He didn’t even look at me once – or anyone for that matter. Reading so carefully. He seems different than most people around our age that are around me…
I saw him again today in the library with some of his friends. I was looking at him, and he was too for a bit. But that’s it! He was also sitting very far away.
I don’t even know when I’ll see him again. I saw him only three times in 3 months!
I don’t know why but I feel like he’s the one or something. I don’t even believe in ‘the one’ but there are a few people in our lives that’ll just be good for us love-relationship wise. That’s what I believe in. And even though I didn’t hear him speak at all, the energy between us and his aura speaks for itself. I don’t know, I need to hangout with him.
The question is… How!? If I see him next time, what do I even say? Unless he is right next to me doing something I like as well, I don’t know how I can chat.
Any ideas? Help!
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6 Answers
What energy between you? You haven’t even interacted yet.
Try saying “Hello”.
That’s always a good place to start.
Just go up to him, say hi, and introduce yourself. Tell him you’ve seen him around and thought they should go out to lunch together.
It’s very hard to know if he’s “the one” if you haven’t even talked to him yet. When you have an intense infatuation like that, it’s easy to jump to conclusions. So I understand why you feel that way, but the only way to know is to talk to him.
You should start a casual conversation. You could say, “Hey, I’ve seen you around here a bunch of times, do you go to [grad school?]” or “What are you reading?”
Warning: Asking what someone is reading is just how nerdy people hit on each other. Literally every time a stranger has asked me that, they’ve asked for my phone number in the same conversation.
Then, have a light, breezy conversation about your shared interests. Ask about their major, or tell them about your favorite place on campus, or maybe have a few questions or opinions about their reading material. The first conversation doesn’t even really matter, as long as you don’t say anything totally objectionable.
If he seems interested and engaged, and you’re getting a good feeling from the conversation, maybe ask for his phone number. If not, say, “it was nice meeting you, see you around!” You’ll probably bump into him again later.
You say that you’re sure he’s either bi or gay, but you’ve never spoken or interacted with him. How can you be sure of anything?
There’s some excellent advice in the posts above. The next time you see him, just say “Hi,” introduce yourself, and ask him a casual question. But, don’t be flirtatious, just friendly.
By the way, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush on someone. It’s normal and healthy. A crush can add fun and sparkle to life, just like a nice holiday.
Figure out something he’s interested and start a conversation along those lines. I guess…
Hmmm, I have a similar problem… I wonder if you have got anywhere with this yet? (given that it was a couple of months ago that you asked) xx
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