Do you live an unconventional life? Please tell me about it! [Potentially NSFW]?

Well.the love of my life is a goose. haha

OK, I can’t beat @Coloma ‘s answer, but thank you for asking….

Being transsexual is pretty unconventional. Also, I am bisexual and polyamorous. Of the three, I think being polyamorous is the one that other people find hardest to understand.

Well I am not exactly unconventional in terms of labels.

I am 27 single and though I am very sexual choose partners very carefully. Life has led me down an interesting path I experimented and learned caution and that sex can be physically gratifying or it can be union that is in some way precious and unique. I also believe that it is important to know oneself and never lose my self identity or compromise myself for the sake of a relationship.

Given that I have extended periods of celibacy, where often I am not even putting myself out there in any way.

I look to my friends or within myself for strength, connection, and validation.

This is actually more common in modern society but I don’t live in an area or work in an environment that views my life as the new norm. Many people don’t even try to understand it.

Oh and my love and best friend of 8–9 years is now married with a child. I still talk to him weekly and we want happiness for each other. And neither of us is willing or convinced that we should let each other go, though anybody aware of extent of the situation is wholeheartedly believes we are making a mistake.

My whole dang life has been fairly unconventional, sometimes by choice and sometimes by circumstance. Sometimes in good ways and sometimes in bad.

Currently, the major non-cookie-cutter aspects of my life are that my children live with my ex-husband instead of with me, I don’t have a relationship with my mother, and that I make my living entirely from home, online. Challenges include: knowing people assume I must be both a terrible mother and a terrible daughter (neither is the case…there are very good reasons for both situations, ones I will happily share if asked), people thinking I don’t have a ‘real’ job, and that I’m probably growing ever-more hermit-like (but I don’t really mind that one!)

I have been unconventional sexually in the past. I’m heteroflexible, have probably had more sexual experiences (and with more people) than most, and was very against being tied to a monogamous relationship in my youth. But I’m very happily married and it isn’t an open relationship, so my sexual life is pretty conventional these days.

I wouldn’t change a thing, past or present.

I sworn the vow of celibacy and I am not even Catholic or Christian!

I am married for nearly ten years to the love of my life. We are unable to live together on the same side of the Canada/US border for economic and bureaucratic obstacles. I am unable to sponsor her to live here in Canada and I can’t afford to give up my Canadian health care due to chronic health problems. So she and I live alone on opposite sides of the border about 90 apart. As long as I can maintain a vehicle and am fit enough to drive, we can visit each other. Due to lack of a vehicle and her family’s needs back in Missouri and Arkansas, we will have spent about 4 weeks together in 2013. Yes, that sucks!

.
For twenty six years I have had this deep obsession with this woman who I stare at constantly and follow around like a sick puppy. I know she is well aware of my fascination with her. Some days she teases me with her well-kept body as she flaunts it by me in a tight red dress and high heels giving off a tiny hint of Channel No. 5. What a babe.

I get nervous every time she comes near and my palms begin to sweat. I’m so scared I may say the wrong thing if I speak. So I just smile and hope she will have pity on me.

This woman is the mother of my two children and we have been inseparable since we’ve met.

Oh no! Here she comes right now. I hope that my tie is on straight and I don’t have anything between my teeth.

To actually be married to, and limit yourself to the one you are married to when it comes to whom you are bloinking; that seems to be very unconventional in this day and age.

@Hypocrisy_Central My point exactly!

So @Mariah, have any of the above answers helped you in understanding the diversity of relationships these days? What are your concerns?

Hi @Pied_Pfeffer! Golly I don’t find much time to come by here these days, but I’m glad I stopped by today to see your question.

Well my main concern at the time of posing this question was that I was beginning to wonder if I ought to consider myself asexual…but this did not mean that I want to be alone during my life, quite the opposite: I love family and would be very lonely without one. But what hope does a girl who doesn’t like sex have of finding a person/people to share her life with?

I’m happy to say that these concerns aren’t as relevant to my life anymore. Happy not because there would have been something wrong with being asexual, but happy because it’s just plain easier not to be asexual – those worries don’t have to be mine anymore. I had had those worries after my second ever relationship came to an end in the same way that the first one had – I liked the guy, I rationally understood that he was pretty awesome, but the strength of my feelings just wasn’t what it “should” have been.

In the meantime I have entered a new relationship (it is hard to stay a single girl at a tech school where there are 3x as many dudes as there are ladies) and it’s early yet, but I’m happy to say that everything feels different. I haven’t felt passion like this since…well, ever. I think I hadn’t met the right person yet.

That’s not to say the question and its answers are irrelevant to me now. My biggest concern is assuaged for now but my life is still going to be far from conventional if I have my way. I am certain that I do not want to have children. I don’t trust my body enough with pregnancy nor my genes with producing offspring that won’t have to suffer like I have. I am still open to the concept of adoption, but my current leaning is no. I think it’d be irresponsible to drag children through the bumpy road that my life might be, and to be perfectly honest I don’t want to not be my own top priority for 18 years. I don’t want to stay in one place for long, I don’t want to do one job for long, I want to go back to school periodically. I have too many interests to limit myself to doing one thing from 9–5 for my whole life.

But I know that lots of people dream big like me, but end up falling into what is easiest and safest and familiar. I fear my ability to stick to these ideals especially because I can’t really afford to be risky with my career because of health insurance concerns. It is comforting to me to see that other people have managed to stay away from the cookie cutter American life if they determined that wasn’t what they wanted.

Thanks for sharing Mariah. I think that you will find is that by staying true to yourself, you will end up very happy. You may also find that, as you grow older, some of these feelings change. Life sure throws some interesting curve balls.