What ordinary first and last names should never be paired together?
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ETpro (
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December 2nd, 2013
Hopefully no loving parent would name a newborn girl Anita Morehead or a boy Mike Hock. As a kid, I actually had a neighborhood friend with the unlikely name of Les Moore and in high school, there was a boy in my class with the last name, Love. His parents had to good sense to give him the innocuous first name of Lewis, so no harm, no foul there. Of course, a Lewis Reddy might draw some teasing. Ready for what, Lew. What are some names that are perfectly ordinary left alone, but should never be combined together?
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I know a realtor who goes by Mike Hunt (say it out loud).
I heard Key and Peele on Fresh Air the other day. Jordan Peele said that his mother specifically wanted Biblical names that had to do with water, and her first choice was “Noah Peele”. Luckily, she refrained.
I actually knew a John Johnson. He hated his name so much, he apologized and made awkward jokes every time he had to say it.
I couldn’t marry Hugh Laurie, because I’d become Lori Laurie.
Would you believe I know of both a Dick Harryman, and a Harry Dickman. They both exist, and I am remotely related to one.
Shelley Rivers, Karen Lessman, Sharon Potts
Oh, I know a Les Nutt!
No humor was found in the suggestion he name his son Morely.
I once read an obituary for an elderly woman in my area named Helen Jumper Skipper. Call it bad taste, but my friend and I got a kick of out of that one.
My niece has a kid in her class named Chucky Charles….they call him Chucky, but his actual name is Charles Charles. Why?
My teacher had a husband named Guy Mann.
Wayne Kerr
Dick Stroker
Rusty Kuntz
Mustafa Tinykok
I know a woman with the last name “Traylor” who hyphenated it when she married Mr. Park.
They are now the Traylor-Parks.
My best friend’s name is…..Rafael Rafael
I don’t know what his parents were thinking, but there it is….
I actually know a Richard Wigler. And my brother haqd a teacher named Pearl Button.
At work, we had a driver named Harry Dick Jr. Junior?!? Wasn’t one Harry Dick enough?
And ‘Junior’ kind of has that “lesser in size” vibe, which doesn’t help any….
Dad’s revenge, “I’m Harry Dick Senior!
@flip86 That reminds me of a very old Cheech and Chong skit, “Peter Rooter.”
My niece is named Magnolia Violet Green.
That’s a beautiful name (AND kind of fun to say…)
Is it two flowers or two colors? I prefer to call her Maggie.
I’m suddenly reminded of all those prank calls that Bart Simpson always does to Moe… Amanda Hugginkiss. Ivana Tinkle.
Heywood Yapinchme. Al Coholic. Oliver Klozoff. Seymour Butz. Mike Rotch. (a lighter version of Mike Hunt I suppose) Anita Bath. Maya Butreeks. Yuri Nater. Also, Harry Dick.
Dick van Dyke
@OneBadApple I know three people off the top of my head who have the same first and last name. I don’t know why people like doing that but whatever. Oh, and two of the people that I know have unusual first names because their last name isn’t a traditional first name.
An old teacher at our school was called Edward Edwards, we just knew him as Teddy Eddy, coz that’s how we rolled.
Avoiding most of the Harry and Peter jokes, I say that parents should listen to how the first and last name sound together.
Like I have a cousin with the last name Melrose. He said he’d never give his child a name that ended in S because the last name would sound like “smell rose” when said together. I worked for a man named “Mike Lamb” and it always sounded like people were saying “My Clam”
Rhyming names can suck too. I went to school with a kid named Olin Bolin.WTF? I also knew a poor woman who got married and her new name was “Kylie Wiley” —BLEAH!
Oh I thought of something else. You should probably google the first and last name to see of you accidentally named them after someone famous. Clara Bow might be OK, but Homer Simpson—not so OK.
Years ago I worked at an ad agency with an unpleasant account executive (“A Suit”) named Marshall Bateman, and of course he became known among us in the creative department as Master Bateman.
children, children, children…....
Connie Lingus
@ETpro My name is Lewis and my surname is a word that works just as well as your “Lewis Reddy” joke – that particular pun has never occurred to me before. People sometimes ask me if they can call me Lew for short, I always answer with a very emphatic NO. Particularly since in the UK “Loo” is slang for “toilet”.
When I was at school there was a boy in my class called Richard Head – I kid you not. But he was an extremely good looking and popular guy, no-one ever called him Dick.
Also once when I worked at a football stadium, someone played a prank on the announcer and got him to read out an announcement for “Drew Peacock”. He didn’t even realise until everyone else in the office cracked up laughing, but by then, 12,000 people had heard the announcement and it was too late.
And then there’s always Bart’s prank calls to Moe’s Bar…..
Phil McCracken
(Why do I feel as if I’m devolving as this thread progresses?)
I work with a McCracken who always refers to her hubby as Phil.
I worked with an accountant named Richard Dent. Then the farm consultant named Alistair Dick, who was going to have a baby girl and couldn’t name her Anita, or Iona or Ivanna or Annie. I knew a Canadian girl here in Norway who was embarrassed to introduce her Norwegian husband to friends back home because his name was Harold Aas, but he teased her and went by ‘Harry’ in Canada. When I was processing insurance proposals for a company in New Zealand there was a name and address on one and I had to phone the agent to make sure he wasn’t pulling my leg. I mean really, ‘Mrs. Brazier’ who lived on Titty Street? What were the chances? true stories, all of them
Ann Landers once said that a couple whose last name was Hogg actually named their twin girls Ima and Ura.
Rich Billions. (This is a true story. My husband’s name is Richard Billionis Pronounced Billions. Fortunately everyone calls him Rick.)
Worked with a guy named Rusty Surface.
I knew a girl named Valerie Titlow. Her problem was that there was simply no good first name.
Frank Stein (with middle initial “N”)...
Rolling on the floor laughing my aas off. There are WAY too many here to mention each, but reading them has been a highlight of my day. Thanks to all, and keep them coming.
The question popped into mind as I was reading the last chapters of Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. It mentions a case where a poorly educated, single, teen mom named her baby girl the name “Temptress.” Not too surprisingly, the youngster grew up to get into legal trouble by age 15. Judge W. Dennis Dugan presiding over the Albany County Family Court in New York took time to probe on how the youngster seemed to be living out her name. He asked the teen’s mom how she came to give her child that name. She said she loved The Cosby Show and named her for the young actress on the show.
Judge Dugan was aware enough of TV sitcoms to know that she was referring to Tempest Bledsoe, and asked her if that’s who she meant. The mom admitted that it was, and said she learned later that it was Tempest and not Temptress.
The judge pressed on to see if the defendant’s mom knew what Temptress meant. She admitted that she only became aware of that later, as well. At least she gave her baby daughter that name quite innocently.
In contrast, the renowned Harvard Professor Roland J. Fryer, Jr., took a call on his radio show from a woman who was upset with a aunt who named one of her baby nieces “Shithead”. It was supposedly to be pronounced shuh-TEED but you know how many school chums would respect that claim. Let’s face it. If your first name is Shithead, it matters not what the last name may be,
My dad had a woman who worked for him named Hazel Crow. Her sisters’ names were Ima and Ura—I kid you not.
Harry Kerry (his wife’s name was Mary). He was a friend of my neighbor when I was growing up.
Kanye and anything.
When Kanye’s kid grows up I hope she comes out with her own fragrance.
She should call it North.
…........
Harold Balsongna.
I went to school with a girl named Katie Gross. I felt bad, everyone teased her.
I went to school with a few people with the last name Hooker. Pretty unfortunate.
I don’t know if these have been mentioned yet, but Seymore Butz/Bush and Ben Dover are classics.
I used to know a Michael Hoch (pronounced Hock). Funnily enough he didn’t want to be called Mike.
Another classic is Honor N. Offer
Ivanna Gross-Hooker, just to tie threads together.
@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Hazel definitely got the better of that naming disaster.
@Valerie111 At least it wasn’t Anita or Ivanna Gross.
@livelaughlove21 Remember TV’s T. J. Hooker. It’s what you put in front of that unfortunate last name that’s the real killer. Like Juana Hooker?
@Leanne1986 Amazing. That’s one I included in the OP because I’d hoped parents would have better sense. Why, when I hope for good sense, am I so often disappointed?
@2davidc8 I bet there are some.
@ibstubro I swear, I wrote that before I read your post. :-)
There was an article in our local paper this weekend about an outstanding student. His name was Woody Wang. I thought that was a little mean of his parents.
Several years ago I found myself working in a small West Texas town. Every evening, we would to stop in at a family convenience store for beer.
They had a hand lettered sign prominently displayed on the counter that looked like it had been there for many a year. It read “Our credit managers name is Helen Waite. If you need credit you can go to Helen Waite.”
Lamar Schadler.
In German this means lame asshole eagle.
Went to school with a Rusty Corvette years ago. He murdered a few people and was executed by the state of S.C.
I always wondered if having that name made him mean?
How many of us are mumbling some of these names out loud in order to “get it?”
There was a story a decade (or two!) ago about a man named Richard Lucy who married a woman whose first name was Lucy, and she became Lucy Lucy. True story.
I get it, @2davidc8. Mrs. Ricky Ricardo’s doppelganger. Heads spin.
I guess it’s time to pull this one out:
If Lady Bird Johnson had married Lord Bath of England,, she’d have been Lady Bird Bath!
@ snowberry-interesting handle. It makes me think of deer scat though;) Thanks for the welcome:)
Back in the ‘70’s there was a basketballer named Baskerville Holmes. You can’t make it up!
“Basset ball Jones, I gotta basset ball Jones, Basset ball Jones oh baby ew eee youuu.”
I am reminded of the doctor who was engaged in some afterhours hankie-pankie.
One evening, as he pursued his nurse through the office, sporting only a cold stethoscope and an obvious erection, he swiftly turned the hallway corner only to run headlong into a filing cabinet.
His nurse came running back to see what had happened and found him writhing on the ground groaning loudly and clutching his injured member.
“Oh my goodness!” she exclaimed “Doctor Bennett!”
“Ben’it Hell!” moaned the doctor, “I broke it!”.
Once at work I dealt with a customer called Miss Love who married Mr Storey. She did not opt for the double-barrelled “Love-Storey”.
If my sister had done that when she got married she’d be “Mrs Little-Fox”
Google’s Grace Hopper doodle today brought up the thought that she was wise to marry a man named Vincent rather than a Peter or Dick. Who would want to be Mrs. Dick Hopper?
Dr. Ronald Doctor, MD.
Sarasota, Florida.
Vicar Vikki.
The Cathedral of Saint John the Divine.
Upper West Side, Manhattan.
Dean Dean.
The film Back To School.
Today I passed by a chevy dealer in Cape Cod named Dick Beard haha.
I met a woman named Crystal Fountain.
SOUNDS SO PORN
I have a friend who changed her name to Christal. I really suspect she was a stripper at one point, but I cannot think of a tactful way to ask.
I knew a woman named Electra. She was some sort of case worker for my prison guys. They never could quite get over her name. :D
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