Rude obnoxious kids, product of parenting, or they are just born that way?

Products of bad parenting, from what I’ve experienced with neighbors and friends.

The rude, obnoxious kids I know almost universally have rude, obnoxious parents. Listen to them talk to their children for a few minutes, and you may have your answer.
There are children who are born more difficult than average. However, I think kind, loving parents who set a good example can often balance this out.

Usually they have obnoxious parents, but every so often kids and teens can be rude and obnoxious even having great parents. The teen years do not tell the talenofwhat type of people they will be as adults. Their peers play some part in their behavior, and we know the mind of a teen doesn’t think things through and is quite self centered.

both

Not sure. I had thanksgiving dinner with a family with three kids. The oldest, about 17, was probably the most obnoxious girl I have ever seen in my life. Seriously. She was poison. But her two sisters were as sweet and gentle as could be.

Not certain the question is really serious, because there can only be one fundamental and basic factor and that is parents. People will say there are many factors, but nearly all of the other factors arrive on the scene AFTER the parents have established their quality.

I have a couple of kids (now no longer so little) but not that long ago I was in that period where I interacted with other kids parents. I was and am horrified at the incompetence of many of the current generation of parents. They are morally confused, inept as leaders, and afraid of being unpopular with their children and their children’s friends. No surprise that many children are reflections of that corruption of character.

Very common when the parents are indulgent. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

oh no. bye…

Parenting – without the rod being the best choice to raise a respectful happy citizen.

Nature v. nurture; nobody really knows where one ends and the other begins. I don’t doubt that some innately good children are ruined by bad parents, or that some “bad seeds” are made better by a loving, nurturing home.

Nearly all children are born that way, but most are taught to behave in a more socially acceptable manner. Some are easier to teach than others.

“Spare the rod, spoil the child” does not mean beat your kids with a stick. It means to guide them, as a shepherd guides his flock. Fail to guide them and you “spoil” them, as in, fail to help develop their character and morals.
No, I am not religious but I have had an interest in theological interpretation.

IMO it is the usual combo plate of nature/nurture.
An extroverted child without guidance can become very brash and boisterous. An introverted child without guidance will become a passive aggressive whiner. lol

It will be a combination, in general.

It would be great if kids came with proper care instruction and a clear manual…

I think what many people here are saying is modeling is probably the most important influence on children. We guide our children by setting an example. When children are away from their parent’s sight they can get away with all sorts of bad behavior. I am not talking about illegal acts, I just mean what the Q is asking, obnoxious and rude. If a parent’s only means of controlling their child is punishment; the absence if punishment means that child will be out of control. If the child is controlled by their own sense of right and wrong, they take that with them everywhere.

I think what gets confusing is some very nice respectful people use physical punishment to control their kids and their children in spite of unnecessary physical punishment still turns out to be respectful and in self control, because they still had good modeling in their life. Sometimes it backfires if the corporal punishment is extreme. Still, the modeling was the most important influence in my opinion, and so the physical punishment was unnecessary.

The rod is indeed what the shepherd uses to guide his flock, not to threaten or hit.

Well, I’m a jerk but my kid is perfect, so I’m not sure how much influence parents really have.

Three words: The Bad Seed

I think that children model after their parents, but will also model after their peer group as well. So if the alpha of their group mouths off to adults and gets away with it, I think the other kids will ape that behavior.

With great jobs, long working hours and unpredictable schedules, couples who work have little time or patience to take care of their kids. The atmosphere at home and the behavior of the parents does matter a lot in the character development of all children. Often the children watch their parents and imbibe those qualities early on which will have a far reaching impact on them, like Ego, arrogant nature, no respect for elders etc.When I was a kid, my parents and my teachers taught a lot of things apart from our normal curriculum. One of them being discipline. When our parents scolded us we never used to question them, but now the kids question us back. Rude behavior if not corrected in childhood, the same attitude continues in adulthood.

@Smitha

I know a lot of couples or single parents that combine full time jobs with taking care of the children.

I see no correlation between the ‘quality’ of their children and whether both parents work or not.

Poverty doesn’t help, but also their I’ve seen a lot of children turn out well. I also saw a lot of families where mum was home but still didn’t spend quality time with her children.

@whitenoise You are right, I did not intend to blame the working parents. I do agree at times even kids growing in loving and caring atmosphere can turn nasty and spiteful. Some kids may be born with genes which make them more likely to express certain personality traits, but their upbringing plays an important role in their character development..

@Smitha 90% of the time I was allowed to question my parents. Once in a while they pulled rank. Usually I didn’t have to question, because I understood why they were asking me to do something. My home as a child rarely felt like it was a dictatorship, everyone was expected to behave in a certain manner, adults and children. It wasn’t that it was all flowers and butterflies, sure there were times I wanted to do something my parents would not allow me to do and it caused some arguments, but when children are extremely passive and obedient it makes me nervous. I hope the girls don’t grow up to be so passive or obedient to their husbands and the boys don’t grow up to be noncommunicative.

@drhat77 Agreed. I called my mom a b word exactly once, got popped in the mouth and a lecture and never did it again. Some might think that was harsh, but it didn’t hurt me and it taught me a valuable lesson, some kids may get away with disrespect but not me…lol

Often children today are not taught the importance of manners or respect. bad parenting is the root cause of many of todays societal problems.

“The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”

—Attributed to Socrates (although it probably isn’t)

80% bad parenting