What was the weirdest apology you've ever done?

So one time at band camp, (don’t you judge me!) I made a hard left instead of a right and rammed into a cute flute player pretty hard. She was pushed into one of the tuba guys and smacked her head on the giant tuba bell and landed face first on the pavement. Many laughed, others were horrified. The only thing that saved me from being pummeled was the fact that my older sister was homecoming queen. I apologized to her every time I saw her for the rest of the year.

Hmmm, I’ve had a lot of awkward apologies, for some reason though the one that keeps popping into my head was this one time in high school during gym class when we were playing soccer, I’m not a sports type person but I still can be pretty athletic at times evidently. Well, I got on a break away with the ball and was running full speed down the field, all that stood in my way was the goalie, I kicked the ball as hard as I could hoping to go to the outside corner of the net. Evidently my abilities weren’t what I perceived, line drive right into this poor girls face; I broke her nose, blood everywhere. She wasn’t mad and understood it was an accident but I still felt like the hugest douche ever.

This happened about 35 years ago, and it was very quick.

A coworker and I were kidding around, and he started getting tough. I reached over, and grabbed the front of his shirt, and pulled him up to me, but when I did this, I unintentionally hit him in the jaw while holding his shirt.
I immediately felt terrible about it, and said “I am so sorry! I didn’t mean that! Here, slam the door on my hands!” and I put both hands on the van while the door was open. He immediately slammed the door.
Now, while this happened in an instant, I remember thinking to myself “Shit! He’s gonna do it! Well, if I pull my hands out, he won’t feel like I meant the apology!” So, I clenched the car, so that my knuckles took the impact. The door bounced off my hands, and I was unhurt, but he felt terrible, and was worried he had just broken my fingers.
Apology accepted.

Eight years ago at my father in-law’s funeral, the service had just finished & we were en route to the crematorium, a sombre occasion travelling the several miles following the hearse in mostly dignified silence. Except, the urge to pee surged through my loins & I mean bursting my pipes here, the entire journey saw me rapidly tapping my feet on the floor of the car, ended up looking like a weird episode of the Flintstones.
When we arrived, I ran out, found a toilet & relieved myself, the apology was somewhat awkward given the circumstances, fortunately everyone appreciated the lightning of the mood & laughed it off.

Years ago I was at a friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner—there were about 10 or so of us, and at some point during the meal we launched into a conversation on some topic I can’t recall. As I was wont to do in those days, I began expounding on the topic, but after a short time I realized I didn’t have any idea what I was talking about and that I was just getting myself in deeper and deeper. I stopped in mid-sentence and announced to the table—and this was intended to be a sincere statement, not a funny one—“I’m so sorry guys, I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.” Everybody at the table roared.

We had a wake up system at my fraternity in college. One guy would go wake the people that put their cards on the board. My bed was suspended about 5 feet of the floor so my desk was under it. One morning the guy woke me up and I punched him in the nose. How do you apologize for that?