@yankeetooter You have to be a good friend, to make friends. By that, I don’t mean to be an obsessive person, I mean just go to events and places where people that have common interests mingle. Don’t act shy, or you’ll just be overlooked.
Make a point of going to places or events that have activities that you already enjoy. Then walk up to people and make small talk. Like, “Hi, I’m Yankeetooter, this is the first time I’ve ever been to this church/museum/park/sporting event/craft fair/restalurant tasting. What do you like about it? Oh, do you also live in Timbuktu? That’s where I’m from. Yes, I do go to school and work, where do you work? Have you ever tried the Thai restaurant on First avenue?
Forget about what’s his face. He doesn’t think about you, so don’t think about him (except for the 2 minute allowance which I’ll give you, per day).
It’s in your power to make changes, positive changes in your life. There are no knights in shining armor waiting to carry you off. If you are lucky, you’ll meet people, men and women, old and young, who you can share some brief moments (like in line at the grocery store or bank) or longer term arrangements who will give you some joy, and in return, you’ll give some joy to, who will appreciate you. You can’t force it, but you do have to make the effort and step up to the plate. No one wants to scrape a pitiful, sad person off the sidewalk of doom.
Be pleasant, offer asssistance, be funny and amusing without being forceful. Don’t stalk people (EVER). Go about your business. Do what needs to be done. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in self pity and by all means, get help when you need it, immediately, not years after the fact.
Be well, my friend.