How do I help my friend with her problem?
My best friend was born in Tokyo to a Japanese mother and an American father with Spanish and German heritage. She lived there until she moved to the States when she was seven. People don’t believe her when she says that she was born in Japan because she looks like her dad with wavy dark brown almost black hair, olive skin(spanish heritage), and amber eyes(her eye shape isn’t the same as his because he has big round eyes but she has regular almond shaped eyes). Also since she moved here when she was seven and now she is seventeen, she doesn’t have a Japanese accent and just sounds American. I’ve been friends with her for years and I’ve met her parents a lot of times so I know the truth. She gets hurt when people call her a liar.
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11 Answers
Tell her not to give a shit about what other people think? Honestly if they don’t believe her, big whoop, what does it matter? It just sounds like some stupid high school drama.
I agree with @XOIIO Most important life lesson, learn to not care what other people think!
Your friend does not need to convince anyone of her heritage, and if people are so ignorant as to think they KNOW some thing they do not, well…they aren’t anyone you would want to know anyway.
Kids are stupid, nothing you can do about it sadly. She sounds absolutely beautiful though and perhaps jealousy is driving some of the nasty remarks. Someday she’ll learn to cherish her unique background. I for one would love to have such an interesting life and exotic good looks!
My cousin is Japanese American but she looks a little bit Japanese. She got in trouble in Japan for supposedly ‘coloring’ her blondish hair and it caused some problems for her over there.
Stay away from negative & nasty people, and have confidence and love for yourself. Truly, like everybody says, who cares what idiots think?!
Why is she hurt by nasty, hateful people showing their true colors and their ignorance? It says so much about them, and nothing about her. She should ignore such nonsense.
She ought to learn to say, “Dude! Are you that stupid? Have you never heard of genetics? My mother is Japanese and my father is American, you know, mixed race??? You know, like the President of the United States. Seriously!”
When I was 15 I lived in Japan and attended school there – and when I came back to the States and enrolled in a new school (the “new girl” as a Junior in H.S.) people asked where I’d come from and when I said Japan no one believed me.
I didn’t care – I just kept my head down and was friendly and did my own thing.
One day I was walking down the hall talking to a friend and she tripped down a couple stairs and landed funny..and I accidentally blurted out: “Daijoubu!?!” (which is Japanese for: Are you OK?)..because it was the first thing that fell out of my mouth.
After that..everyone seemed to accept that I had in fact come from school in Japan.
So, two pieces of advice for her:
1. Don’t care what other people say
2. Does she speak any Japanese? Maybe some choice curse words like: “Omae baka yaro!” that she can say in an angry voice to anyone who doesn’t believe her?
As long as she knows it is true she shouldn’t give a flying fig if others believe her or not.
Someone who wants to be a true friend wont question her.
If she knows the truth, why does she care what other people think?
Aside from not caring what people think, maybe she could tweak the way she describes her heritage. “I was born in Tokyo. My mom is Japanese and my dad is American, with Spanish and German roots.”
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