How would you role play a Dungeons and Dragons chaotic good bard/character with straight 18's for ability scores?

Singing so badly that any monster dies from internal haemorrhaging. Then finish them off with my lute.
(My only contacts with D&D are the movie, Neverwinter Nights 2 and the current Neverwinter MMO)

Oh boy. I wish I knew/remembered this stuff. I played D&D pretty hot and heavy way back in Junior High.
I was the “Dungeon Master” as I had all the books.

I’d play him as a medieval rock star. With straight 18s, he is better than other people, so why not have him living ye olde rock-and-roll life style? Use the Charisma to woo the ladies (or guys), the Str, Con, and Dex to win the barfights that inevitably happen when living a life of debauchery, and the Int and Wis to stay one step ahead of the game, make sure you get paid for your gigs (whether musical or adventurous).

The Bard class has a wide range of abilities, so you can really do just about anything at least moderately well, so playing a CG Bard with straight-18s as an egotistical hedonist seems like the way to go. But making him a hedonist with a heart of gold; you’re Chaotic Good, not Chaotic Neutral. If you trash a tavern in your revelry, buy the keeper a new tavern. You’re a bard; you’ve got the talent to earn enough gold where that’d be a trivial expense.

Of course, paying for the damage you cause (and child support) will eat up enough of your earnings that you won’t have much more personal wealth than other characters. Hell, if you work with the DM, maybe you could swing it so that you get royalties and commissions that just balance out the costs you incur, so that you’re wealth-but-not-wealthy, and thus can follow the same money rules as other party members; the vast amount of gold flowing around you would be just a plot device rather than something you could use for actual personal gain.

Straight 18s?

That’s really tough, actually. No weaknesses to build character? Only 20% chance any roll of the dice won’t go your way?

To keep it interesting, he’d have to be crazy. Maybe totally paranoid. Or he has some strange sexual perversions that get him into trouble. Hm… I could be more specific if you’d roll up his secondary skills. (Do they do that in third edition?)

@Seek_Kolinahr I found it easier to play a cleric with Wis 18, Int 6 (just high enough to be literate enough to stumble his way through Scripture). A lot more fun too. He couldn’t count the gold pieces at the merchant, but he was astute enough to know when he was being swindled anyways.

Stupid characters are fun. I played a paladin once. Beautiful, strong… Int 3. He was basically an evil slaying, damsel rescuing automaton.