How frequently do members of the LGBT community disapprove of other members of the same groups?

From reading and listening to Dan Savage , it is surprisingly common. There seem to be questions of “correctness” amongst differing groups: Gay men and lesbian women that don’t like bi’s; trans people being disrespected by many, out people who are completely intolerant of those who are not out yet.

But it is something the broader non-hetero-centric community needs to deal with internally; those of us who are straight identified yet tolerant need to be supportive, not critical.

Oh, all the time. University pride centers are supposed to be safe spaces, but sometimes people will play the “I’m better than you” or the “I’m more of a minority than you” game. Or they will say “You’re not really bisexual; you’re just pretending” or “if you were really transgender, then you would be this way”. It was very much in line with what @zenvelo describes.

One of my best friends said that she was disappointed when she came out as gay and faced intolerance from the very community she sought refuge with. She was teased for “fitting” the stereotype of a gay woman and continued to struggle with her identity thereafter as a result. She’s doing swell now, but it saddened me to learn that about her coming out process.

I have met plenty of GSRM persons who are more open and tolerant. A different close friend and his SO are extremely supportive activists who give me hope that things will change. They are so positive and inclusive and give me inspiration to be a more vocal advocate.

I have not faced much adversity in my own coming out process, but I am hesitant to have the talk with more people than I already have because I am afraid of what I may hear—whether I broach the discussion with another member of the GSRM community or not.

GSRM? Are you referring to Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities? That is a term I hadn’t heard before.

@filmfann Yes, that’s the acronym that I have grown more used to using because it gets cumbersome typing out LGBTQIA :P

Surprisingly often.

I’ve known so many gay people who detest anyone who’s “closeted.” They believe that every gay person has an ethical obligation to come out, join the community, and advocate for gay rights. I think that an individual’s sexuality is a private matter and nobody’s business, and the decision to come out (or not) is personal and an individual choice. Someone might not be ready, yet, and still considering the choice. Or, someone might simply dislike the idea publicizing sexuality.

I remember an article in the SF Weekly about a lesbian activist protest that was disallowing transgendered women to join in the protest. They accidentally denied access to a woman who was not transgendered but looked that way upon first glance. The writer was disgusted that these women were protesting some sort of inequality lesbian women were suffering at the time, and at the same time, denying the right for women who were genetically different from them to protest at the same time.

It was silly.

—

There are a LOT of gay and lesbian people who are prejudiced about bisexuals (“Oh you’re just gay but you’re in denial) and transsexuals (“oh, you’re just having a sex change because you don’t want to be gay any more”). It’s my experience that the worst prejudice is by some feminist lesbians against trans-women. Gay men seem to be more accepting of trans-men (but they still don’t want to have sex with us because our cocks aren’t big enough).

Our main local gay and lesbian community group has effectively excluded trans people for many years – not by banning us but by simply failing to provide any trans-related support. It’s only in the last few that they’ve been more inclusive, and only then because local trans groups have put pressure on them to be so.