Social Question
Can you please help me determine whether or not this guy's behavior is something most people find acceptable?
There’s a guy in another department at work who asked me to lunch a few weeks ago. We are far enough apart, proximity wise, that we never see each other unexpectedly, so we never work together. I am in my 40’s and he is in his 50’s.
We went to lunch, twice, and it was good. Not thrilling but we were getting to know each other. Then, the following two weeks, our schedules didn’t jibe so we didn’t go to lunch. We did, however, have pretty much daily texts or emails. Nothing dirty, just “how is your day going” kind of stuff. He was complimentary about my looks and his emails and texts would often say things like “I need to see you” but I didn’t waver out of the “friend” mode.
He told me he is very busy with other businesses outside of work which is why we have not gone at night, and communication on weekends is not always frequent. I had asked if he sees anybody and he said no.
The last time we spoke or emailed was Christmas eve. We texted during the day, and then I called him at work to say hi, (our communication was not very often by phone), and then later that evening I texted him a photo of the doors of church. For Christmas eve, he was going to dinner with his daughter and ex-wife.
I have not heard from him since my Christmas eve text. I figured maybe he is involved with someone else or he took up with his ex wife, or he decided that we are not compatible, for whatever reason. Today he emailed me and said how are you. I answered fine, and then I told him on the email that I was kind of confused why I haven’t heard from him since Christmas eve. He wrote “I figured you were kind of busy with Christmas and all.” I wrote that regardless of whether or not it’s a holiday, I find not hearing from someone for two weeks to be kind of baffling. He wrote something like “I suppose. I guess life is baffling. On the other hand, if I wrote or called you daily, that would be considered overbearing, so I guess something in between is best.”
We used to text or email daily or almost daily, and never had any conversation where either of us said that it was overbearing.
I don’t want to argue about this. I have not yet responded to his email because I am just confused. I can’t understand someone not texting, emailing or phoning for two weeks and then picking up like nothing weird happened.
Am I wrong?
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