Am I getting more aggressive or just being accustomed to Fluther?

I recall that there have been a couple posts in which you’ve referred to an interaction on another post that hadn’t gone well, and had even linked to at least one. We are not allowed to directly name a Jelly – especially in a negative way, because that stirs up trouble. Thus, it falls under the ‘flame-bait’ flag for moderating.

I have also seen you use the word “hate” a few times. This is a very strong word. Some people use it in a casual way, but it can easily be misinterpreted as being harsh and mean-spirited—this is especially true in writing, since there are no facial expressions, gestures or vocal inflections to indicate whether or not you mean “hate” in the most serious sense.

Therefore, I suggest that you consider your words more carefully, especially when expressing negative feelings or opinions. Try to avoid using generalizations, too – as they often result in offending people who belong in that generalization, but to whom your complaint may not apply. For example, there’s a difference in saying, “I hate dogs,” and “I find it annoying when dogs bark incessantly,” or “I get nervous around dogs, because a German Shepherd tried to bite me when I was a kid.”

What I think is happening is there have been a lot more mods lately, or more active ones. Some seem a little overzealous.

Haha, which genius helped you rephrase that, very strange concept.
I don’t think Fluther is an aggressive place at all, there are of course a few morons, but they’re very much in the minority.

@ucme I never say Fluther is aggressive, I say I am aggressive. I know that’s all my fault, I only want to be sure what changed me all of a sudden.

By implication, your question suggests you believe the site as a whole to have an aggressive nature.

@hearkat I’m just curious why the word “hate” would be modded, except if someone actually wrote, “I hate you Jelly Z.” Or, maybe, “I hate the way you think Jelly Z.” I don’t see how, “I hate dogs,” warrants being modded.

@JLeslie makes a good point. Why is hating something mod-worthy?

@ucme You are missing my point…

@JLeslie and @jca:
I didn’t say that @Mimishu1995‘s use of the word “hate” was mod-worthy. The only things I remember the OP being modded for were direct references to other Jellies, either by username or by linking to the posts where a conflict occurred – which is not allowed, as mentioned above.

I then started a new paragraph in an effort to explain what might have caused the original conflict. This was referencing what my be perceived as “aggressive” by others – whether or not it is moderated – since I interpreted this question as the OP indicating that they do not intend to come across as being overly “aggressive” or to create unnecessary conflict with other Jellies.

My point was that others might take offense to the word choices of using strong words and generalizations, since interpretation of words is subjective – especially in written form. Not everything that people get offended by gets flagged, and not everything that gets flagged as ‘flame-bait’ gets modded. However, many people remember if someone hurt, angered, or annoyed them, so miscommunications can mar someone’s experience going forward. This post seemed to be concerned about that – perhaps I am reading too much into it.

@Mimishu1995 Maybe I am, but then you do paint a confusing picture.
Why would anyone “get use to the atmosphere here” & yet behave in a manner more akin to someone unfamiliar with the general guidelines, not to mention learn from previous modding examples?
Seems contradictory to me, unless, as you say, i’m missing your point.

You will come to see Fluther is not a place where you can fully speak your mind as you may want to but you can convey the same message but you will have to be more creative and at times PC in order to do so.

@ucme So why do some native English speakers use txtspk and ingore grammar while they know English so well? I want to know if what’s happening to me has the same reason as that.

it’s hard to make any judgments or say anything useful without direct examples and since you are supposedly not supposed to link to them, we are in a Catch-22 situation where we can’t really say anything useful. I suggest you either post some direct examples and leave the person’s name blank or take it up with the mods. It could be that since you are from a different culture, you are missing some of the nuances but I have never seen your flames.

By the way, I sent a complaint to a mod about a post of mine that was deleted and have not had a response so I’m not sure what’s doing with them. (Although I know they are very busy all the time fighting off spammers.)

@Mimishu1995

From what I’ve seen, and please correct me if I’m wrong:

You’ve made several socially inappropriate comments. And when others called you out on it, you posted a question in Meta specifically referring to those people and the situation involved.

It is against the rules to name other Jellies in questions or answers, with the exception of Lurve Parties.

It is against the rules to make racist comments.

You have done both of these things, and done so regularly.

That is why you are being modded.

Getting modded more often is kind of the opposite of getting accustomed to Fluther. If you were getting accustomed to Fluther, you would be capable of writing a post without being moderated.

—Re: the word “Hate” -

“I hate dogs” isn’t mod-worthy.

“I hate ethnic group” is.

“I hate ethnic group’s entertainment productions” is iffy.

Also, America’s culture of the Freedom of Speech makes us perhaps a little more used to expressing ourselves freely, and hopefully respectfully.

I can say I ‘dislike/ disagree with your ideas’ but I would never say “I hate you, you suck”.

It really does you no good to be aggressive here, because this is an intellectual exchange and learning experience. If you make someone mad or treat them poorly or with disrespect, you will never get to exchange ideas and thoughts effectively. I hope that makes sense to you!! :)

And just for clarity’s sake, “flame-baiting” doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re being aggressive. “Flaming” is aggressive. “Flame-baiting” is to say something that is likely to set off an aggressive response from others and so start a flame war.

I’d have to say, this question does seem to be a bit of a jab at Fluther. Not saying you’d be wrong, either, even while respecting the rules, this place can get pretty savage sometimes.
Problem is I see too many people crying the victim card when someone merely disagrees with them or otherwise disputes or challenges what they say. There is a world of difference between that and flaming/hatred. Least I certainly hope so.
If your previous question was pulled for naming a member in a negative light, then that might prove my point even more. Unless that person flamed you, and in that case you notify a mod. Some think they’re biased, but they aren’t, and some mods even get modded themselves, so…

@Symbeline Yeah, I mean at least have the common courtesy of flaming via PM like everyone else…lol (Let me count the number of times….)

Maybe, you, @Mimishu1995, are just a dick.

:)

For the four years I’ve been involved with this site (on and off) fluther always had certain criteria that must be met in order for response or question to not be moderated. This is why you sometimes will see moderated responses such as flame bait, poor writing standards, personal attack, off topic, etc. These standards have not changed for anybody who makes a post that falls under those violations.

I know the moderators and management on this site are not fond of users mentioning other users for obvious enough reasons, except in rare circumstances such as compliments or milestone threads.