Looking back 10 years....are you where you are doing what you expected to be?

I was 14 ten years ago, so I’m going to go with no.

It’s hard to plan for 10 years, as life changes everyday. We are certainly not at the point where we wanted to be. But Joker of Batman said, : “I just do the things!!!”. I think that’s the only way to live life happily.

Let’s see, ten years ago we had just adopted my daughter, I was three-plus years into teaching, and had a pretty hopping freelance graphic design career.

Today: Still parenting my daughter (‘natch) who is an amazing young girl, I now run the department I was teaching at, and I’ve put freelance work aside to pursue my masters degree.

The only part that was a surprise was going to graduate school. I had attempted it back in 2002, but didn’t get very far. I figured I’d never have the opportunity again – but here I am.

Not at all. Never thought I’d be about to be divorced and that my kids would be at such a great distance from me. Never thought I’d be living on my own. Some things are better, some things are worse but they are totally different from what I expected. Luckily, I have great friends, great health and enough money.

@janbb Those are what I call “new normal” events. I always say don’t let your past get in the way of your future.

I have no idea where I will be tomorrow, and no idea how I ended up here to begin with.

I tried to stay positive in my above answer, but here’s some negative stuff that happened as well, that was not expected:

• My grandmother died
• My father died
• My mother is out of my life
• My wife was unemployed for three years
• My wife was diagnosed with a neurological ailment.
• And, as of this month, my father-in-law is dying.

Obla dee, obla da

My life has kind of floated along. Ten years ago I don’t think I had much vision for the future, and so where I am is not a huge surprise. If you ask me if I am where I thought I would be looking 20 years back, I would tell you that I am not where I thought I would be.

10 years ago I had some health issues that made me doubt I would be around today. I am much healthier now.
10 years ago was also before my Mom passed away. Some of the events surrounding that certainly surprised me, like the possibility of living in the Redding area, which I always considered not to my taste.
10 years ago I would not have expected to be retired, unless it was for health reasons.
Life is full of unpredictability.

10 years ago I was just coming out of a divorce and everything was wide open. I managed to create a life of bliss for myself from the rubble of ruined relationship and held my own admirably for 9 years until this economy wiped me out the last few years. Now it all looks pretty grim and I am struggling to find hope and optimism in a bleak landscape of debt, under-employment and age related exhaustion.
I have no idea what is next for me, part of me doesn’t give a shit and the other part is terrified.

Short of winning the lottery or marrying a Ted Turner I may just move to Vietnam and raise water buffalo, bamboo and opium poppies and die in a narcotic haze in some jungle temple. lol

10 years ago I was 15. I thought I’d be a scientist of some kind or a journalist. I never dreamed I’d be working a job that only requires a high school degree. I certainly never imagined I’d still be living at home with no end in sight. I thought I’d travel abroad. Nobody plans to be ashamed of their lack of progress. I thought I’d be single, so I got that right. I thought I’d have friends still, which no.

It’s kind of depressing to think about. Everyone else I knew then has made something of themselves and I feel so stuck. I wish all the struggles I’ve felt since 7 years ago meant something but it’s hard for me to be positive about it at this point.

@cookieman I too could not have predicted my dad’s untimely death nor my son’s 2 suicide attempts. Nor my nervous breakdown and near crash and burn of my marriage. Life has it’s up’s and down’s and hopefully we land on our feet even after falling down the rabbit hole of unexpected turns of events.

@Cruiser: Very true. My mantra is basically, “Keep moving, stay productive, love people, and will all work out.”

I’m sorry to hear about your son. I hope he’s well now.

Ten years ago, I would never have predicted that I would live where I am living. I am very happy with how things have turned out.

10 years ago I thought I would still be at the bank I last worked for. Not there, and I’m okay with it.

I’m actually exactly where I planned to be. The next 10 will be harder to plan and predict.

Nope. I figured I’d be retired. I never thought I’d be stupid enough to start my own company. Now I have a tiger by the tail. That old expression “Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.” certainly applies.
Oh! One more thing. 10 years ago I did not know what a prostate was. Now I do. And sometimes miss it.

10 years ago I just finished having my home built. I still live in it although I am wanting to sell and downsize. Tried to do so two years ago but the market had fallen out and I could not get what I wanted for it so kept it.
I did what I still do now for a living but I am phasing the company out over the next few months. I thought I would have done that a couple of years back but could not do it economically. When the construction industry faltered and work was scarce we bought a few 4-plexes and renovated them then rented them out. Never saw myself as a landlord, but I am now.
I am still married to my wife although sometimes I wonder why she lets me stay.
I have a eight year old granddaughter, didn’t see that coming.
Didn’t think my dad would be dead but he is. Thought my mom would be gone but she is still alive and kicking; demented but kicking.
So, in some aspects yes, in others no but I have always thought that the saying that the only thing constant is change was very apropos when it came to life.

Can I use 15 years ago? I never ever expected to be where I am today fifteen years ago

No, not at all. The last ten years turned out to be an unpredictable roller coaster. I could never in my wildest imaginings have supposed that I would be living where I am, doing the job I am doing or be in the relationship I have found. I don’t know who is writing the script but it isn’t me. But whoever it is, thanks.

I am in a complete different space than I was ten years mentally, emotionally, physical health wise. The only place the same is that I live in the same town. And it all took a huge veer to the left 8 years ago when my marriage ended. At the same time, my career plans were changed by a takeover.

The only constant from 10 years ago to today is that I’m still married to my wonderful husband. We have added to our family, moved, had changes in employment—all things I couldn’t have predicted (though some of which I hoped for, certainly) a decade ago.
I can’t even imagine what life will look like in another 10 years.. by which I will (most likely) be an “empty nester”...as our youngest child would be nearly 20..

Yes, I’m on track to be where I currently am and planned for 10 years before. I was halfway to a military retirement a decade ago and now I’m in my 20th year of military service and looking to retire in about 18 months.

^^ Congratulations !!

@cookieman. Thank you very much. =)

Yes… I have my own apartment, its social housing but still I enjoy the freedom to shower and eat whenever I choose.

No, and thank Gawd it didn’t come to that.

Ten years ago, I was fourteen and a high school freshman. I had a burning passion to be a writer. I knew I wanted to go to college and earn a degree in English Literature, but everything past my BA was a hazy fog. Maybe I would get an internship somewhere or send manuscripts out to magazines and publishers.

Teaching was the furthest thing from what I wanted to do. Now I am an adjunct at a community college and waiting to hear back from PhD programs. I wasn’t at all concerned with where my love life would be or where I would be living.

If I were to go back in time and tell 14-year-old me that I am going to move, get married, and spend an additional 5–7 years in school, I think they curl up into the fetal position.

I should probably start thinking where I want to be in ten more years..

@Bluefreedom Congrats on the retirement and thanks for your much appreciated service. Have they tried to entice you to stay?

@Cruiser. Thank you very much. There is little chance they will let me extend because over the next 3 to 5 years, the Air Force is going to try to cut 25,000 positions throughout the force. Also, my unit has a very strict manning document so they want unit members to retire quickly after they have hit their 20 active duty years so people below them can move up and get promoted.

@Bluefreedom Then there is hope they will let my sister finally retire…she just celebrated her 25th yr in the AF

@Cruiser. Kudos to your sister, also! 25 years worth of service is excellent.

Well, I was almost nine years old. I thought I would be like a real adult by now. I guess when you’re eight you don’t know what a real adult is.

I was 21 ten years ago, and I did NOT see myself where I am now. At that time I was doing everything I could to get a career in art, preferably as a conception artist for some video game company or another. Didn’t have no real leads, but I was getting somewhere, slowly. Eventually though, like you, I got into alcohol and things went downhill. Kicked it for a bit but it keeps coming back.

Ten years ago I was helping my daughter plan her wedding. The first to fly the coop. Now all three children are married and I have 8 grandchildren. It is glorious.

@AshLeigh Take your time. When is was 18 or 19 I thought I knew everything there was to know. The real growing up starts now for you. Up to about 22 or 23 a lot happens. Just relax, it’ll unfold for you.

@Adirondackwannabe, HAH. The fact that I am legally an adult is histarical. I have no idea what I’m doing.

”...Never thought I’d see the age of twenty-five
It’s twenty-nine years now I’ve been alive
The panic I feel can hardly be told
In a matter of months I’ll be thirty years old.”

Loudon Wainwright III

For those of you who are feeling old – Audrey Auld – Forty

@AshLeigh Guess what? Neither do I. I just try my best.

@Symbeline You need an anchor to kick the alcohol. I had someone in trouble close to me. They found their anchor and they kicked it like nothing. Other’s find it in AA, religion, etc. Without an anchor it’ll keep coming back.

No.

10 years ago I was struggling financially, I was doing a job I hated, trying to live a gender role that didn’t fit me. I could see no end to it. If anyone had told me in 2004 where I’d be in 2014, I would never have believed them. I didn’t even think I’d still be alive.

10 years ago, I probably would have thought that someone who is 38 and single (never married, no kids) is kind of a loser. Now, I am 38 and in that situation, but I am awesome.

I am so glad this Q popped up in my feed. It was a joy to read.
I looked at my own answer from long ago and can give an update.
The tiger by the tail grew into an elephant by the trunk. Fortunately I was able to successfully complete what needed to be done. Now I have the flexibility to enjoy grandkids and/or grab other tigers, or cats, or even kittens.
I find myself definitely leaning toward the grandkids.