Do you, or would you sacrifice comfort for style?
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SQUEEKY2 (
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April 2nd, 2014
This question is aimed mainly at women’s fashions, but can apply to men’s as well, and it doesn’t have to be just about clothes it can be about anything, so do you or would you sacrifice comfort just to be in style?
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89 Answers
One thing that comes to mind is women’ extreme high heel shoes with those very pointy toes, those can not be in the least comfortable, but you see a lot of women wearing them.
Never. Why? Who are the arbitrary style police and what gives them the right to make my life miserable? Ralph Laurin wears jeans and a T shirt and I bet his feet never hurt.
(Milo here; Imagine me in four 6” heels. On second thought, don’t.)
You trying to find out how vain we all are? Guilty. I like to look good, it makes me feel good. I like the look of high heels, but I wouldn’t demand it from anyone 24/7.
Not often, no, although if I were paid to do so, I could get used to it.
Nope. Sometimes I strive for both but comfort is always the priority.
@Knowitall So you do sacrifice comfort once in a while , and if you were paid you could all the time?
If it’s not comfortable, I don’t wear it.
Occasionally. I wear heels to work 2–3 days per week. They aren’t excruciating, but they aren’t exactly comfortable either. I just feel dumpy in flats with a pencil skirt. Pencil skirts and dresses aren’t all that comfortable, either, but I wear them because I think I look good in them.
Today I’m wearing pants, flats, and a cotton top. I’m comfortable, sure, but I find myself avoiding mirrors on days like this.
Most of us sacrifice some degree of comfort at the expense of style. For starters, most of us leave the house wearing clothing that is required for work or will keep us out of jail. I couldn’t show up for work wearing boxers and a t-shirt, despite the fact that it would be the most comfortable on a warm day. And many people wear a suit and tie so that they can do the job they want to do and earn money for their family.
High-heel shoes are an extreme, but in general, most of us spend much of our time in public dressed in a way that is not optimized for comfort.
“But wait! @hominid, I dress as I please and have a casual work environment.” Sure, so do I. But we’re choosing among the acceptable options our culture and/or job allows. We tell ourselves that we are completely free from concerns of style and only dress for comfort, but it doesn’t appear that’s the whole story. Keep in mind that whatever comfortable outfit you are wearing today (jeans and a t-shirt) is still restricted to current style. Keep those old “mom jeans” or clothing from a different time and you would save money. We don’t because we still need to adhere to some sense of style so we are not ostracized or fired.
@SQUEEKY2 I will zip or squeeze myself into something tight and attractive on rare social and work occasions, but for the most part it’s all comfortable, classy pieces. If someone were to pay me to model or give me a wardrobe allowance, I’d pick different pieces for sure.
Today I’m wearing white sandals with silver accents, a pretty white short-sleeved blouse and a brown, comfy soft skirt.
You know that’s one of the things I love about being a trucker, nice clean COMFORTABLE pair of work jeans, a clean work shirt ,work boots all comfortable and I am out the freakin door.
Normally, I prefer comfort over style but there are a few exceptions. Lingerie is the worst, but it makes me feel confident and I love what it does to hubby.
When it comes to furniture and household items (sheets, towels, pillows, mattresses), comfort always comes first. I couldn’t care less how trendy my house looks.
Been there, done that, into my 40’s. Nope….for the few awesome moments of looking amazing in a particular outfit and foot crushing sexy shoes…..not worth it.
I live to rip off my bra and take off my shoes….the pinnacle of my day now. haha
I’m thinking of taking up corset tightlacing.
I actually rather like the feeling, though, and don’t find it uncomfortable unless I happen to drink something carbonated. That’s a no-no.
I worked as a professional for decades and managed to be both stylish and comfortable.
I love heels. I wear Spanx and false eyelashes on occasion, neither of which are comfortable. Sometimes I wear a dress or skirt I can’t sit down in. Some part of me is always cold, like my legs or shoulders. Sometimes my earrings are too heavy. Sometimes I spend an entire evening aware of my posture and my potbelly.
I love my silk pajamas, but prefer my cotton ones. I am comfortable in jeans and a sweater for everyday errands, but for professional attire or date night I’m not always comfy.
^^ What is Spanx? (I am almost afraid to ask.)
It’s a name brand of supportive undergarment that disguises unsightly bulges.
It’s just another link in the chain confining women to irrelevance. The man hours wasted by women staring into mirrors, painting themselves, then squeezing into torture contraptions for allurement would be comical were it not for the resulting stupidities necessary to maintain the traditions. The entire fashion / beauty business is a blunt instrument utilized toward the ongoing objectification of women.
Well, the main reason I like wearing really skinny jeans is because they look good. And they’re not uncomfortable per se, it’s just that they are not something I lounge around the house in because…well…there are more comfortable things to wear :)
^ No offense, but skinny jeans don’t look good on anyone (IMO). But I’m willing to accept that you’re the exception to the rule.
@stanleybmanly I like looking my best and do not consider it time wasted. I play around with my clothes and makeup at home doing nothing sometimes. Better than wasting away on my permanent indent on the couch. That is a link to irrelevance. To each their own.
I love skinny jeans, but only tucked into tall boots like this (though I’m not a fan of those boots at all). I don’t wear them with flats. I’ve seen plenty of girls pull off the look, though. And heels are even better with skinny jeans, if you’ve got the body for it. These ladies are rocking that look quite nicely. They’re called “skinny” jeans for a reason, though – they just don’t flatter the shape of heavier girls.
Oh, and women’s “stylish” shoes? Someone needs to tell those ladies that that teetering, abnormal, hobbling, staccato walk is ridiculous and unattractive.
@SQUEEKY2 @syz Not all women hobble, and not all heels are uncomfortable. I have some 4” stilettos I could walk for miles in.
And one voluntarily wrestles herself into Spanx? And who decides what an “unsightly bulge” is. Something generated by wearing too-tight garments?
@gailcalled No wrestling needed unless you buy the wrong size. Basically, I wear them under satin dresses, which tend to show panty lines and cellulite more easily than other fabrics. It just smoothes out things under there. I have not found it to lessen your size, just smooth the shape. No more uncomfortable than pantyhose, and for the same general purpose.
Here is another question, if it was still stylish but didn’t make the men drool, would you still wear it?
If the look didn’t make ME drool, or flatter me, then I wouldn’t partake. Although self confidence comes in part through the flattery of others, I dress myself because I know what looks good on me. Looking your best translates to feeling and emoting your best.
Looking, feeling, and emoting your best is what makes men drool.
@stanleybmanly I like you more every day. Objectification indeed, mostly voluntary as you can see.
I have never understood why one would spend a really long time preparing oneself for the outside world with all the artifices…spanx, false eyelashes, tight clothing, shoes that torture and deform the foot, 65 different kinds of make-up and yet feel completely comfortable being oneself at home with the people who love you, without the disguises.
I’m into jeans and comfortable pants and shirts, but nice pants and shirts, and sneakers or other flat shoes and boots, 98% of the time. I do wear makeup, and I do my hair but those two things have nothing to do with being uncomfortable.
I agree that flat shoes don’t flatter the leg when wearing skirts or dresses like a heel does.
I think it’s absolutely ridiculous when people are judgmental about what other people do to look good. Who cares if some women spend hours applying makeup? Or if they wear spanx and high heels? Why does not doing that make you better than them? I say live and let live – if you want to go out in comfortable clothing without a drop of makeup on, go for it. Who cares is not all women choose to do that?
@SQUEEKY2 As if women only do these things to impress men. Besides, what do men know about what’s in style in women’s fashion?
@Adirondackwannabe You trying to find out how vain we all are?
That was a joke, right? I don’t think that is what he is trying to say.
@syz No offense, but skinny jeans don’t look good on anyone (IMO).
No….skinny jeans can look great on some people, and guys are not one of them; they do not have the dimentions that cause them to flatter and not embarrass.
@livelaughlove21 I love skinny jeans, but only tucked into tall boots like this (though I’m not a fan of those boots at all).
The books were OK, I seen other boots that looked better, to me, not anyone else possibly. She reminds me of a near grandmother trying to stay hip; guess it was the choice of top or the sweater.
They’re called “skinny” jeans for a reason, though – they just don’t flatter the shape of heavier girls.
Wow, something we can agree on. If it had happened yesterday I would have said it was an April Fool’s. Good thing you said it, had I mentioned it I would have been raked over the coals, while they were still glowing red hot.
When I was younger I suspect I did. I still do squeeze myself into a ”monkey suit” and a tie for special occasion, but for the most part I avoid suits like pestilent. I like the way a good suit looks on me, but don’t like the way it wears. I use to choose vehicles more on style and performance than comfort, but taking trips longer the 40 minutes left me tired and feeling beat up. When I found a vehicle that was OK style wise but so comfortable I could drive for 90 minutes and get out of the car and not feel tired and pulled through the ringers, I never wanted to let it go; driving comfort is way more important these days….OK for a Lamborghini I would make allowances even if it were not a comfortable car. I use to always go with style with sneakers, but now I go to Big5, I try on some shoes, I walk around, those that feel the most comfortable leaves under my arm no matter how plain they look.
I dress up to go out with people that love me, too. I don’t see how being comfortable at home and dressing up to go out occasionally are linked in the way you are thinking. And I don’t consider it disguising myself. That’s an odd statement, to me.
Also, it takes me one hour to get ready, shower included. Like most people.
I think it’s a difference in personality, ultimately. If you don’t like to dress up you don’t go to events that involve dressing up. I enjoy those events and seeing what pretty and handsome things people have done for themselves. These are people that I also go stomping around in the woods with, no makeup and rugged attire. These two styles are not mutually exclusive.
If you were to go to a formal event, like a wedding, and you were the only one in jeans then those of us that dressed up would not understand your points of view, either.
The fashion industry is a multi- billion dollar business for a reason.
@Hypocrisy_Central No….skinny jeans can look great on some people, and guys are not one of them; they do not have the dimentions that cause them to flatter and not embarrass.
Something else we agree on. Twice in one day? Impossible. A man in skinny jeans is just tragic. I know some scrawny hipsters can wear them without looking too horrible (a la Russel Brand), but just a regular dude in skinny jeans? No. I recently asked my husband to try on some skinny jeans for me. Just so I could laugh at his skinny legs. :)
@livelaughlove21 I don’t think anyone’s trying to be judgemental, what’s good for you may not be good for me, perhaps we just see it differently than you.
What’s slightly interesting about the objectification is that now women have been trained to enjoy it, seek it, revel in it, like performing circus animals.
Well, I’m no hipster, but I’ve always been scrawny. So I think I can pull them off. :) Like, to me, this looks pretty good.
@livelaughlove21: Matt Lauer wears skinny pants with his suits. He looks good, in my opinion.
@DominicX Not bad, but not my cup of tea.
@jca I looked up “Mat Lauer skinny pants” and got nothing. If you mean this, I’d call those straight-legged pants. Skinny jeans/pants are tight around the ankle.
The most recent embarrassing skinny jeans moment I’ve seen was this. Bad…just bad. When your upper body is three times the size of your lower body, skinny jeans are not a good idea.
@KNOWITALL I don’t feel I have been “trained” to like pretty things any more than I have been trained to roll around in the mud (which I did yesterday). I am not performing for anyone, and dislike being compared to a circus animal. Your comment was kind of insulting.
What I find enjoyable and revel in span stereotypes from both genders. I seek fun from nightclubs and being girly just as much as I seek pleasure from rock climbing.
@jca I still say they’re not “skinny.”
@GloPro Since I wasn’t talking to you specifically, it’s completely your choice to be insulted or not. If you aren’t torturing your body for male gratification it didn’t apply to you.
@livelaughlove21: They’re tight, though. Tighter on the entire leg than most men wear.
@KNOWITALL Ah, being trained like a circus animal must be acceptable to other women that enjoy looking their best. My bad.
@GloPro Do yourself a favor and read Wiki about feminism, I can’t even argue with you about this.
What is the difference between dressing uncomfortably for male gratification than for monetary gratification? In the end, aren’t you really doing it for yourself?
Obviously feminism is not something I think twice about.
Maybe this will be my next life, if I’m lucky.
I will not buy an article of clothing if it is not comfortable.
@Juels If it empowers you and you feel you have the choice, it’s not a bad thing.
Just remember, women are still fighting for equal pay in this country, against rape and violence, so for me, it’s a responsibility to ourselves and our sex to make sure we do it for the right reasons.
Kind of like giving birth, it’s not something we have to do to fulfill our female destiny, some women aren’t built for it, or mentally capable of doing a good job, but they do it to fulfill society’s expectation of the female role. No bueno, we always have a choice.
I love to wear nice clothes and nothing is more comfortable than nice clothes that are tailored and made out of nice material.
Comfort all the way. My entire wardrobe consists of pajamas, sweatpants and sweatshirts. I only dress in style when restaurants or parties require a dress code, however, most of the fancy restaurants I went to didn’t care what I wore. My job has no dress code and I do my work from home anyway. Also, I’m not sure why it can’t be both. My styled clothes are pretty close to the level of comfort as my sweats.
My wife only sacrifices comfort for style when at work. Same for my kids.
@jca
I agree with you about Matt Lauer.
But I don’t think he looks good because of skinny pants, per se. If you look at the whole body pics its obvious that he’s wearing custom fitted suits (they’re certainly not just plain old off-the-rack).
And any man looks elegant in clothing which is custom tailored. That’s why a lot of British guys like Pierce Brosnan and such look so absolutely fabulous.
Bespoke clothing is a deeply ingrained tradition over there. Its definitely something that more American guys could take as an example to follow.
Granted, the wealthy class knows this by tradition (JFK jr.) but it should not be the sole province of only the super wealthy.
There are plenty of middle class guys who would look totally classy even if they had only one or two custom fitted suits for those special times. These are investments which generally last a lifetime.
I usually opt for comfort because if you feel good, you will definitely look good. But there are situations when we have to pay importance to style rather than comfort. For example weddings. I wear high heels only to special occasions like weddings or parties. Sometimes it’s possible to dress comfortably while still being fashionable.
I am willing to be mildly uncomfortable for fashion. Usually I dress very comfortably, but I have gained some weight so I had to squeeze into my jeans the other day.
I can’t wear very uncomfortable shoes, I don’t know how people do that. I do have a couple of pairs that rub my little toe if I wear them long enough. I love heels, but can’t wear very high ones anymore. I top out around 3 inches now. Whenever I try to go higher I either wind up kicking off the shoes before I leave the house, or only wear them for a couple of hours. It isn’t painful feet, but more a muscle pain or cramp concern. I used to wear heels almost every day and was perfectly comfortable, in fact flats were uncomfortable. Now, I only wear them about once a week, if that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive, and there are people who collect shoes and jewelry the way others collect stamps. If fashion is your hobby, so be it. My gripe has to do with the fact that little girls are pressured right from the gate to pursue frivolous and useless behaviors of the man-trapping variety, while their brothers are encouraged in more practical directions. In truth, things are shifting regarding this trend out of sheer economic necessity, but I still find it irritating that the answers from 5 year olds to the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” elicit striking differences in answers between boys and girls. Once again, I’ve been very fortunate. When my daughter was asked at 5 what she might want to do for a living, she replied that a career of stealing animals from zoos would be ideal. My wife was alarmed, but I was overjoyed that the answer wasn’t “I want to be a princess”.
@Buttonstc A nice fitting suit is so attractive. Another well suited American man is Jimmy Fallon. I’ve been admiring his choices for years.
You know, it’s funny that no one has a problem with men that do this. They may not wear makeup (well, some do) or heels (once again…), but there are plenty of men that take a long time to get ready, primping and making sure every hair is in place, manscaping their bodies, lifting heavy weights in the gym so they’ll be muscular. Are they objectifying men by doing this?
Tsk, tsk, the double standard.
Oh, the amount of time my ex spent in front of the mirror trying to cover his bald spot…
@GloPro That one I never understood. Every f***ing person can see what’s on my head. Not much. Screw it, it’s what life dealt me.
@livelaughlove21 Absolutely, some people have a problem with men that primp excessively and are overly vain and obsessed with their bodies. I like a man who looks good and dresses well, but if he looks like he spends all day in the gym, he becomes less attractive to me. If my husband obsessed about his clothing it would begin to annoy me. If he spent a fortune on his clothing it would annoy me. If I knew he was very uncomfortable in what he was wearing it would annoy me. My husband is slightly more bothered by his body “defects” than I am about my own. They aren’t defects, what I mean is he obsesses about the inch he can pinch of skin at what would be his love handles on the side of his waist. It is ridiculous! He is not fat at all right now, that area just does not trim down to a hard taught skin over his muscles. He will keep losing weight to try to get rid of little things like this when he over obsesses and he starts to look terrible. Too thin in my opinion, but he is not anorexic or limiting his calories to a scary minimum. Thank goodness. But, enough that it makes me uncomfortable.
@JLeslie That may be true for you, but I think a lot of women appreciate it when men put a lot of effort into how they look. A guy that just rolls out of bed and heads out the door every morning without putting much time into their appearance might seem lazy to some of us.
My husband takes 40 minute showers (and claims he just stands there and relaxes, psht…), but he takes about 5 minutes to get ready in the morning. He keeps his hair short so he doesn’t have to do anything with it, and never shaves his face (which is my preference; I prefer stubble). He wears jeans from Walmart and t-shirts that usually have either stains or holes from work in them. I think a lot of women would think that he’s lazy and doesn’t take any pride in how he looks. However, he’s in the gym 4 days per week, manscapes on the regular, and fusses over his new “muffin top” he got while trying to bulk up. He’s a walking contradiction.
All I’m saying is that you never hear anyone say that guys that put a lot of effort into their appearance are “objectifying” men, but apparently that’s what women are doing when they put the same effort into their appearance. It’s just stupid. I say neither are objectifying anyone except maybe themselves (but maybe not). A girl that wears 6 inch heels, mini skirts, and crop tops out to clubs with a bunch of makeup on their face and a whole bottle of hairspray in their hair in order to attract men are making fools out of themselves, but they certainly don’t represent the average woman, and therefore are not objectifying the average women.
And they can make fools out of themselves if they want to. Who cares if that’s what they want to do? Men might seem stupid at times, but they’re smart enough to know that not all women do that. However, plenty of men in bars and clubs will be attracted to that silly girl, and I think that’s partly why so many women hate that type of woman. They don’t necessarily want to be her, but it angers them that men are into that. Therefore, she’s objectifying women? Uh, no.
@livelaughlove21 I agree with you about the “objectifying” part. That is a very interesting point actually.
In FL, especially South Beach, many of the gay men are extremely pumped up with muscles. It’s a thing down there. They are obviously gym rats and overly concerned about their bodies (don’t get me wrong, of course there are many straight men obsessing in the gym also). Maybe they, the gay men, are objectifying themselves in the same way women do, if we want to use that term. Having to attract men, whether you are a girl or guy, can often mean having to worrying about appearance. Look at the stereotypes for gay men, dress well, groomed well, I would say on average they spend more than the average guy on the visual.
I think for both men and women there are extremes at both ends and a happy middle for most of us. I agree I don’t want my husband to look like he just rolled out of bed when he goes out and meets the world, but I don’t want him so wrapped up in himself and his looks that he spends a lot less time with me, or less time focused on other matters that I think are important, or that he gets distressed regarding his looks.
When people over worry about their looks it is not attractive (pun intended). It comes off as insecure and a waste of time, and if their efforts are actually painful, when you love the person it is hard to watch them be so uncomfortable.
@livelaughlove21 I think you’re taking it the wrong way like @GloPro did. The point is that women who submit to objectification feel they HAVE to be that way to get ahead, there is no choice in the matter. Of course they can do whatever they want, but changing the way women feel about their own bodies and reducing bing-&-purges and anorexia (not to mention body distortion, cutting, etc…), is important to some of us, and that’s all I was saying. I don’t want my niece worrying about being a size two is she’s a natural size 7, because it would unhealthy for her mentally and physically to reduce herself to that to ‘fit in’ or to be an ‘ideal woman’ according to Vogue.
And people do disparagingly call men who are over the top about grooming, metrosexuals, almost in the same tone some people say ‘you’re gay dude’.
@KNOWITALL I thought we were talking about sacrificing comfort for style in fashion, as the OP asked. Who said anything about eating disorders or self mutilation? Or weight at all?
@livelaughlove21 The way you present yourself to others speaks volumes (to me) about how you value yourself. Bigger picture than just pj’s or pencil skirts.
@KNOWITALL Sure, but that’s sort of out of the scope of the question, isn’t it?
@livelaughlove21 I don’t think so, but I’m interested in the psychology behing the clothing choices, not just outward appearances.
@KNOWITALL I just don’t think it’s safe to assume those that choose certain articles of clothing have a weight complex or are harming themselves to achieve a particular look.
@livelaughlove21 I’ve made a study of others since I was young, and many of my women friends are extremely fragile with their self-images and must be immaculate when we go out, and my male friends think it’s a waste of time, they get irritated at the time wasted, the tons of make-up, etc…
I assume nothing, but I do think it’s interesting to see why some women feel the need to look ‘perfect’ and why that is. Many women here suprised me by choosing comfort with an occasional dress-up, which seems very mentally healthy.
The Brooklyn Museum has a new shoe show entitled; Killer Heels: The Art of the High-Heeled Shoe
“As fashion statement, fetish object, instrument of power, and outlet of artistic expression for both the designer and the wearer, throughout the ages the high-heeled shoe has gone through many shifts in style and symbolism.”
I’ve been reading a lot about Medieval footwear lately.
In Medieval Italy, a woman could be taken to court and sued for fraud if a man fell in love with her because of her height, and found out only after they were married that she wore high platform heels (up to 20 inches high!)
Relevant link
Hey ,hey it is about sacrificing comfort for style, and some of the womens styles I have seen look far from comfortable, if it’s your thing to be more in style than comfortable, then hey knock yourself out.
The Brooklyn Museum has a new shoe show entitled; Killer Heels: The Art of the High-Heeled Shoe
If a woman’s dress shoe doesn’t at least have 4 inches in the heel, throw that junk away.
Women shoes are not for men to wear, but to admire while women wear them…..and if women did not want to Prada and Louie V would be out of business.
They’ll never get dime one from me.
@Hypocrisy_Central That would really be a shame if those designers ran out of business.~ However, they sell far more than high heeled shoes.
You get more ridiculous by the day.
@livelaughlove21 You get more ridiculous by the day.
By explaining the truth? I guess you have some insight as to why women buy their uncomfortable heels when more acceptable flats are available? Perhaps you can tell us why those designers and other shoe manufactures make high heels that women will not buy or are not buying? Do you believe they are making those shoes for fun and just get lucky selling millions of them a year?
@Hypocrisy_Central When did I say women don’t or won’t buy heels? Like I said, you’re ridiculous. You said any heel under 4 inches should be thrown out – that’s an opinion, and a dumb one quite frankly, so I expressed my opinion.
Women wear uncomfortable heels because they look good. The same reason women wear makeup or form-fitting clothing. The same reason women pluck their eyebrows and shave their legs. Sorry to burst your bubble, but it’s not all for the benefit of men. And if women don do these things, there are other options that also look good.
@livelaughlove21 Exactly. I like to look good because it makes me feel good. If women want to look, that’s okay, but I do it for me.
And really, what’s more attractive than swollen ankles and bunions?
@Seek And women walking around like baby deer taking their first steps – SO hot.
Seek; hammer toes and lower back pain. isn’t that romantic?
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