Social Question
Question(s) about my ongoing interraction with a seemingly shy woman?
Great, so, I have a relationship situation. I am very active on Fluther but will use this account for things I do not wanted to be identified for (I know people on here in real life, you all understand). This kind of thing is very unlike me, but I find myself in a very difficult does-she-like me sort of circumstance that is embarrassing but still needs to be talked out. So, here goes. God bless whoever reads and responds.
I have had a very distant friendship with a woman for some time. I would look at her often and when I went to make peace one day (I felt guilty), was surprised by how friendly and pleased she was to speak with me. We met on and off for work-related things over a period of several months, but were both involved, and it went nowhere.
Several weeks ago we came back into contact and our interactions were as follows:
—- Open play-by-play log—-
- Coffee for work. We actually spent the whole time talking about our life plans and dogs.
- A week later, as we talked about plans for our week vacation, she included somewhat suddenly she would be breaking up with her boyfriend. I responded sympathetically, then complimented her new highlights on the way out. Later, I brought her coffee while she worked; we talked for about five minutes, then I had to go.
- Two weeks later, as she was filling out her calendar, I asked her to pencil me in for coffee. She did, and we met, and talked more about professional interests, family, and our hobbies. At the end, she asked me if I would be around at a time we usually intersect; I said no, but offered that next Sunday. She agreed.
- That next Saturday, I emailed her to confirm a time. She responded after my second email with an enthusiastic Yes!. I offered a time and she did not respond (3pm). She emailed me an hour before, at 2pm, saying 3 would be great. I went by her apartment and she invited me in, showed me around, and got her coat and whatnot. We went and had coffee. Slightly nervous conversation, not too deep, but pleasant. She had to get back by a certain time so I walked her back.
- The next day, getting out of class (grad school), I walked her home. It was the first time she saw me in formal attire (it was very conspicuous) and she did not comment on it at all (but she said she liked the tie during the walk). It was brief but the most comfortable conversation we’d had since the first work-and-dogs chat, laughing and whatnot. I asked for her phone number, which I had kept forgetting to get, and she was quick to give it to me. She called herself from my phone but did not pick it up, and we departed.
- Yesterday (Tuesday), we both went radio silent. Cool.
- Today, I text her about the same Wednesday time slot from last week (after her class), and got nothing. I shot off another shortly before that time, and still nothing.
—- End log—-
So this is a pretty classic, even boring, story. But typically, women are more obvious. She has consistently been very reserved and quiet, chewing her nails or gripping something, and what seems like batting her eyelashes. She may very well be incredibly shy, or nervous, but she does not reach out remotely when that is safe. I could also take her reactions as aloof, friendly, or uninterested. If not for what I think is my obvious interest, I would think she just did not realize. I have been very conservative (coffee, safe topics, etc…) and moved slowly, but I have also been very persistent.
I really like this woman a great deal; more than I typically am interested in anyone. She is hard to access, very receptive, friendly, and interested in sharing about herself or hearing about me when I do, and she always initiates to leave. Today she has simply not responded.
In short, I am a grown man feeling like a 13yr old boy over a woman who is both charming and seems simultaneously interested and opaque. I have no experience with such people and could really use some third-or-forth party perspectives.
Does this sound familiar to anyone? Do you know someone like this? Are there any women who have a sense of why you would repeatedly put yourself in someone’s audience, have interested conversations, but then leave fairly quickly and not respond remotely?
Thank you for your time. I know I am being an ass.
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