How are you? Really. [6].
This is a question I ask annually. It’s time to ask again.
When we meet people, we often ask them how they’re doing, and we rarely expect any kind of detailed answer. We almost always answer that we’re fine or good or some other innocuous word. There’s little thought placed on our reply, and it is often not even heard. The conversation or encounter will quickly move on to more pertinent matters.
Fluther is a relatively anonymous forum where we can take a minute to reflect and answer truthfully. Let the collective know how you’re doing these days.
How are you?
Really.
As for me, I’m living in what I like to call in between. You see, I’ve applied for a very good job on Oahu with a state office. The bureaucrats in the personnel office of the agency where I’ve applied move glacially. I’ve been waiting almost four months already. Their procedures take a long time. It’s frustrating.
I’m in between knowing and not knowing. I have a better than average shot at obtaining the job for various reasons. There are respected people who want me in that position. I have an impressive resume and excellent references. That doesn’t speed up the process at all. I must wait. I must live in between.
I am excited about the idea of moving from the rural island where I live to the big city of Honolulu. I would like that. I’ve lived in big cities many times, and I want that lifestyle again. I also want this particular job. It’s tailor made for me.
I really am doing good. I’m winding down all my obligations here where I live currently. Everyone knows I’m working hard at getting this job, and they’re cheering me on. My gut and past performance by the personnel office tell me that there will be news this month. I believe my waiting will soon be over.
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Meh….this has been an incredibly stressful year for me, still is. I am currently in neutral. Not up, not down, just sorta floating. haha
Yesterday was a really fun day, some great interactions with friends and biz. aquaintances. 3 weeks ago I was ready to light a Hibachi in my bathroom and gas myself.
When people ask me that , I usually have one or two answers to that depending on my mood , I usually say (I’m alive) if a bit grumpy I say( over worked, under paid,not appreciated, and taxed to death)
I am learning how to shop within a budget. I’m hungry and thirsty. I’m finding out what I like and what I don’t… I haven’t been on a real date in 14 years. I want to watch the new Captain America movie but I need the money for taxi’s rides to my social workers office. I can’t find my graphics calculator and I think I gave it away two years ago to someone. I might download never winter nights mmorg. My bedroom is infested with beetles and larva… they are harmless to my body but It’s hard to get a good nights sleep when they walk on me. 30 minutes ago I took one out of my hair in the back of my head.
I switched to Fire Fox and my computer runs better… ad’s still pop up.
Almost fully recovered from my seasonal depression. Happens most years with a high amount of variability. Some years are just “meh” and others are bone crushing. This was just a harder than average year. I know it will happen so I just push through knowing it won’t last. Ten months out of the year are usually pretty kick-ass though.
In a word, “blah”. School has been really hard on me lately. Not hard in an academic sense per say, but more in a motivational one. I just don’t care anymore. In one class I have a 120 as a grade right now so I never feel like showing up, one class I’m doing extremely bad so it’s kinda like “fuck it” and the others I’m doing ok but they’re mostly boring/easy so I don’t feel like going. In other words I can make up pretty much any excuse to skip classes, I’m just over it all.
I’m really excited to be moving out of the country in September but at the same time it’s a lot of stress, I need to fill out tons of paperwork(going for a study abroad and then just stayin after I graduate) I’ll also be bringing my cat with my so I need to make sure I have everything in line with that(crosses 4 borders with a cat sounds like oh so much fun – _ – ) I’m also trying to sell as many of my belongings as I can and work whenever there is free time in my schedule to raise money. It’s all exciting but very very tiring. I can’t wait to just be done with this all and be able to start my life in Central America.
Ah! I remember you now! This was one of the earlier question that I answered.
Well, the last time I said I was tired of having to stuff my head with unnecessary knowledge for an exam. Now here is some update:
The exam I referred to last time was a success. I passed! And I got a ticket to the university. A freshman’s life is pretty much easier than a highschool student’s. I got new friends as well as broke up with some :(, have more motivation to learn (as I mostly focus on the subjects I like), have more time to socialize (that’s why I’m so active here).
There are “rise“s and “fall“s, a lot of troubles :), but generally I feel like my world is getting better. I’m no longer an asocial girl like at high school time. I became more open-minded and get to accept different views. Everyday is a great day.
So one word: fine!
For the first time in my almost 54 years I am truly relaxed and happy. Smellin the roses….well almost…in another 2 months.
Oh, I took the wrong link! This is what I’m talking about
Miserable. I’m stuck in a body I despise, I’m unemployed and can’t find a single job that’s hiring to save my life, and I’m hopelessly single and feel like I may die without ever touching a a woman again.
I’m not in a good place, right now. But at least I have distractions like the internet.
@MarvinPowell I have read your question and I feel rather sorry for your feeling. I don’t know how to answer your question, but I hope you will overcome your misery soon.
Welcome to Fluther! Make yourself at home.
George Burns — ‘Sincerity – if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.’
Whenever I’m at work I play the part of feeling terrific no matter how I feel. Customers and colleagues don’t want to deal with someone who is not up to par or cranky. I’m pretty good actor too painting a happy and friendly facade. I even fool myself. Everyone benefits. HA!
I don’t know. I am not unhappy but neither am I happy. I am existing and probably will for several more years but yet, if I were to check out tomorrow, I would not mind. Bored? Lost? Not sure but not content either.
the good
I just successfully completed my first semester of graduate school. yippee
the bad
My father-in-law recently passed away which has been really hard on my wife and daughter (and MIL). He was a good guy. ::sniff:
the ugly
I had to lay off three people at work this week. Luckily, one of them was retiring soon – but still. ugh
At the moment I’m a little stressed out. I have a promotion board I am appearing in front of on Sunday and it could mean a significant elevation in my military career. I think after that is over, the rest of the weekend and remaining month of April will be just fine.
I could be better, and have been before. But my body works and I’m not blind. I can’t really complain. Even if I end up living in the street, I’ll still be free. A lot of things have been going wrong for me lately, but the more stuff sucks, the more I learn to appreciate what doesn’t.
There is nothing in this world that is going to destroy me entirely, unless I get kidnapped and tortured, which is probably not going to happen.
And if ti does, whoever captures me better not make a mistake haha. I’ll be right on their jugular if thye do.
But no seriously. I’ve seen better, 2014 is not shaping up to be all that cool. But I’m a Viking yo, ya think I won’t get through it haha.
Unsettled, floating, perhaps even simply existing and counting the days off the calendar like a prisoner waiting to be released. Counting down to what? Nothing in particular, perhaps better days, I don’t know. I can’t say I have a raw deal but neither a good one. Constantly drained of energy and choosing sleeping hours over waking ones, other than that, I could say I’m okay.
@ZEPHYRA. And all the best to you, also. I’m not sure what your religious affiliations might be, if any, but I sometimes think of the saying “God will never give you more than you can handle” and it can bring me peace of mind now and again.
Not great at the moment. I am working very hard for very little gain but I don’t know how to talk to my boss about getting a fairer deal. I work very long hours (often 12 hours a day) and only have Sundays off if i am lucky, but only just able to pay my bills on my wages. My boss is not very approachable and I am not good at standing up for myself so at the moment I am just burying my head in the sand and hoping for the best. I love my job and the experience I am getting is so valuable for me, I just need some time off and/or a little more money to help me survive. Unfortunately, to make matters worse, I am concerned that this job is affecting my relationship. I feel that I am neglecting my partner and things seem a little strained between us at the moment. I tried to speak to him about it and he says there is nothing to worry about but I feel something isn’t right. I made sure that he knows I will leave this job before I let the relationship fail. I think the problem is I can’t see an end to this up hill struggle at the moment but I am sure it will all work outline in the end.
I just really need a holiday I think!
@Bluefreedom I would bet that you have surprised God on more than one occasion…I am sure you have the promotion in the bag on Sunday…we are all proud of your continued service.
I am finding this question as challenging as my, ‘What is your favorite food” question.
What method do we use when determining the answer to this question? Do we look at our current state right now? If so, I’m likely going to respond differently having been asked to check in with my current emotional and physical state. Or should I go back a week and try to construct a model of what I currently believe my average emotional and physical state has been? Am I capable of evaluating this summary? Maybe the answer is as simple as…
I’m great. Thank you. Right now I feel as though I have been experiencing a large amount of challenges. But with these challenges have come greater insights.
tl;dr; I’m fine. Thanks.
I’m leaving the military after almost 10 years, taking the money I saved and driving to CO to look for entry level jobs while I figure out what to do with my life.
I’m really afraid but deep down I’m really excited and happy to be free so that’s keeping me going.
Starting with the negatives: Firstly, my ankle is continuing to annoy the hell out of me. I managed to re-twist it yesterday, and it’s stopping me from doing the things I like. I’m dealing with that, though, and it’s a laughably small complaint when I think about what physical ailments other people go through. Secondly, I’m feeling sad and helpless because two friends of mine seem to be pulling away. And lastly, I’m drifting a little, not really doing anything career-wise. On occasion, that worries me.
On the other hand: I feel good most of the time. I love my internship, as well as the tutoring I do. I love my piano lessons, and enjoy playing almost every day. A little while ago, I noticed I’m starting to play by ear, and I’m excited about that. Yesterday, I spent a wonderful evening with one of my best friends. For a while, I was pretty worried about my little sister; I’m not anymore. She’s doing great, and I’m relieved. On the whole, I love my life. Every day is different, I have loving friends and family, and I feel like I’m making myself useful to the world.
Thanks for asking, and I’m rooting for you!
@hominid. “What method do we use when determining the answer to this question? Do we look at our current state right now?”
Since you’re asking… I do just that, while at the same time trying to evaluate how most days are, as opposed to only this minute.
@Cruiser. Thank you very much for the nice message and it means a lot to me. I will do my best and let you know how it turns out. Have a great weekend ahead.
@Blackberry wow, I admire you for your guts. Are you not scared to leave a job that is stable and secure and move on to the unknown? I have been wishing for years to do something like that but never had the spunk to do so? Did you reach a dead end and decide to move on and gain new experiences? I hope all goes well for you and that you get something fulfilling and satisfying.
Well. The real job I had just cut shifts, cut cut cut, down to nothing. I was truly frightened I would lose my house. I pawned my watch. I took a payday loan. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. So now, at my age, I am resorting back to my old standby. What a relief. I paid off my watch, am going to be able to pay my house, pay my bills. When (and if) my kids get independant, I’ll take early pension and council housing or something. It’s very day to day for me, I’m just glad to not have to explain to my kids by the way, we have to move. I guess I’m alright.
I’m frustrated, stressed, burned out, and tired. Between the economy and a competitor opening literally just down the road, our business has taken a big hit. And in my employers’ minds, everything is my fault (for not doing enough marketing, for not cutting back costs fast enough by laying off employees, by not raising prices quickly enough, etc.).
Of course, when things were great and we were in the black in spite of a huge increase in overhead (due to building a new hospital and adding expensive equipment like a CT machine, staff increasing from 20 to nearly 50), I got no credit for that. As well as no raise for 3 years.
I’m having fantasies of being fired so I can get my 60 hours a week back and actually take care of my health, my pets, my house, and my car.
Today I suck, so anything I say or do should not be used against me. I take the fifth.
@Adirondackwannabe – You do not suck. So there.
@Bluefreedom – You will get that promotion. Tell the board they can call Fluther for a recommendation. :)
As for me, I’m in a weird place. Just found out that my husband’s uncle died. He had Lewy Body disease and I never really knew him when he was completely well. While it’s a relief that he is no longer suffering, it’s still very sad.
I’ve recently made a rather emotional decision and my physical self is reacting to the stress. My cold sore is back and my stomach has been kicking for a few days. (No, I’m not getting divorced or having a baby!) I think that once the actions based upon this decision become more the norm for me, I will get past the physical stuff. Meanwhile, I’m trying to breathe my way through it. I have to not break on this resolution and it is tough.
Work is a bit annoying right now. That’s another decision I’m trying to make; should I stay or should I go?
@ZEPHYRA Thanks :) Yes, the job was great, but I also never wanted to be in this long. I want a different life, even if I have to take a big risk. If it doesn’t work out that’s ok, but at least I’ll be trying.
Let’s see, I’m working at quitting smoking and have been a bit surly lately. So far it’s been fairly easy to break the addiction but the habit has been difficult. I’ve been doing this 20 times a day for more than 50 years. we’ll see how it works out.
Otherwise the business is doing well. Not great but well and that’s really all I need. I will have my truck paid off in the next few months and for some reason I feel really good about that. So if I have to answer “how are you doing/”, I would say “fair to middling”. Not my best year but a far cry from my worst.
Updated: RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE I CAN HIT MY LAPTOP’S SCREEN 1000000000 TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very sad right now. Lost my mom last week. She was 90. A remarkable woman.
@Pachy That is truly a sad thing. I am very sorry to hear this news. I wish that you and yours can all find solace at this sorrowful time.
@Pachy I’m sorry to hear that too. She probably had an amazing life.
I finally feel that I have a handle on unmet goals and problems.
Finances…went on a strict budget…and in the process lost unwanted weight gain as well!
Gossipy neighbors….II no longer get involved in their tiffs and leave them to handle their own foibles. I offer support when I can but not to the extent that I am left fixing their problems myself.
Socializing in a more healthy way…hiking and getting fit and taking photos in the mountainious region.
Started writing daily and have a couple of drafts put aside for later editing etc.
Have plans of taking a screen writing online course in the next few months after first finishing up my “mothers” photo album ( and story of her life) to be self published ( www.blurb.com).
Get up early in the day instead of sleeping the days away.
No bar type socializing for me ( never was one) and enjoy each day for whatever it brings.
Placing aside small portion of finances to “plan’ for excursions next year, and IF I have enough for this year as well.
Plan for goals and start small and go from there.
Read this saying on my fridge every morning, to motivate me.
“What is Life?”
Life is a Challenge…...meet it.
Life is a gift…..accept it.
Life is an adventure…..dare it.
Life is a sorrow…...overcome it.
Life is a tragedy….face it.
Life is a duty…...perform it.
Life is a game…...play it.
Life is a mystery…...unfold it.
Life is a song…...sing it.
Life is an opportunity…..take it.
Life is a journey….complete it.
Life is a promise…..fulfill it.
Life is a beauty….praise it.
Life is a struggle…..fight it.
Life is a goal….achieve it.
Life is a puzzle…..solve it.
Life is Love….love it.
@Hawaii_Jake and @Adirondackwannabe, thank you for your messages of condolence. She did have an amazing life. Wallflower teen, turned housewife and loving mother turned, college grad (in her 40s) turned published author and poet, turned, sadly, decades-inflicted Alzheimer’s victim. She (with an equally amazing dad) gave me the interests, passions and qualities that made me the man I am today.
I’m planning to write book about her.
It’s been a transitional year full of reflection and active change. I am anxious. I wish I could find someone to let me love them, and I wish I could allow myself to do so. I am SO ready to Martha Stuart the hell out of a home. I want a daily companion, so I’m very lonely that way. My clock isn’t ticking because I don’t want kids, but I’m at that stage where I am thinking about what it would be like to be alone forever.
I am trying really hard to become the person I want to be. Search and Rescue is extremely rewarding. I can’t wait to get this puppy. I am excited about getting this internship and hope what I want out of a career is going to finally begin to fall into place.
I live right on the shore of a gorgeous lake, but the rent is out of my unemployed budget, so I’m anxious about that, too. I’m considering moving to Denver, and listing the pros and cons of starting over yet again. Will I ever settle?
I kind of feel like I’ve wasted so much potential. I’m a good person inside, with a very loyal heart and a positive moral compass. That being said, I’m not sure I like myself. I am reflecting a lot.
I’m bigger than I usually am, so although I look great clothed I am self-conscious naked. It’s a new lack of confidence I attribute to aging, and I’m having trouble with it.
So I guess my answer is that I feel like I’m playing a serious game of tug-of-war in a lot of areas. I think my life is going well. There are areas I am satisfied with, but the gaps are wearing on me. All I can do is keep trying.
God, it’s all a bit gloomy reading everyone’s stories. I hope things pick up for one and all. @HawaiiJake are the responses normally like this?? is it the economy?
I’ve had a good year :-S . My husband is in a better job. I’m a little bored in my job but there’s enough challenge to make it ok. And I’m thankful we both have jobs. My children are doing well and I keep working hard with them to help them make sense and find their way in the world. And I have a new holiday house in France. C’est chouette!
So how am I? Good, thanks
@Pachy so sorry, may she rest in peace while you keep the beautiful memories alive. She obviously had a full life reaching such a ripe old age.
I have a feeling that the majority of people you meet and interact with are all struggling in their own way to one degree or another. Basically none of us have the story book life and we should not expect to. It’s a hand of poker. Sometimes you can trade a few cards in for a better hand but usually you just have to play what you are dealt. We don’t learn without some struggle and even a little suffering at times. It’s part of being a human. Life really only happens during periods of flux, good or bad.
Holding my own today, inspite of some serious reality beaming its floodlights. Blink, blink. lol
I am trying to zing up myself with a few new springy/summery/girly things…at least when I end up homeless I’ll look pretty nice. lol
I’m feeling much better now. The board went well and I was recommended for promotion. It should take effect in about 2 weeks. I think the rest of the month and possibly rest of the year is going to be really good. =)
@Bluefreedom – you must have done it on your own since I didn’t hear of anyone on Fluther getting a call. YAY YOU!!!
As for me: lousy, crummy, pretty darn awful.
@tedibear What’s got you down? You were there when I was sucking out.
I’m good, actually. Just a bit infatuated with this guy at my job, and going slightly crazy over it all, lol!
Updated: mostly stressed out by my textbook.
Fuck you textbook!
My work demands have increased this week and I am ready to run away, but, I bought 3 new cute summer dresses, so I will look nice on the outside while feeling annoyed on the inside. lol
Fine, contented, grateful for the hand I have been dealt.
@gailcalled You means the paws you have been dealt. haha
Annoyed.
I just found out this week that I have a genetic problem causing the arteries to my heart to collapse (like trying to suck a thick milkshake through a thin straw).
So I leave for school (for a week) tomorrow and when I get back… multiple bypass surgery!
Gaahh
@cookieman Oh man, I am so sorry….the best to you!
@cookieman Take time to take care of you at school. Be positive!
@cookieman
I think I have a small understanding of your annoyance- I have a couple of surgeries that I’ve been postponing for awhile.
IIRC, cigar-sucker George Burns had heart bypass surgery when he was 74, and he lived to be 100.
@Hawaii_Jake If I Remember Correctly. I’ve been intending to post a question asking jellies to define any esoteric acronyms they might use.
@cookieman – I hope all goes well with you. My dad had bypass twice and did great after both of them. In fact, he felt better. Take good care.
Thank you for the well wishes everybody. I’ll let you all know how it goes unless, of course, I die on the table.
Lurve you guys.
Here’s an Adirondack well wish for you. It’s magic up there, that should take care of you.
@cookieman: Milo here; I can promise you that no one is going to die on any table while I am in charge. I am also starting to corner the world market on chocolate chips for your get-well present.
@gailcalled You would know that too.:) Headed up there for the Horse Show in July.
^^Do a quick climb up Cascade/Porter for me while you’re there. Wear your insect repellent; it’s black fly season
I’ll bring back some shots of the Cascade area. I haven’t been up Porter.
Same view as Cascade and a slightly harder climb, but worth doing only if you are trying to bag another Adirondack High Peak.
@cookieman Good thoughts for your speedy recovery. You will not die on us. We will not allow it.
Please post when it’s all over.
Much Lurve!
@cookieman I have a feeling you are going to be fine especially because you appear to have a positive attitude. Finding out about something like this and being able to do something about it before it becomes a serious problem is a blessing.
^^ This is very true.
I went to the doctor two days ago about some minor digestive issues. They noticed my blood pressure was oddly high. Took an EKG, which was also off, so they sent me for a stress test. I completed it well and all the imaging looked good, but the mountain of EKGs they ran during it showed this abnormality.
So, very lucky they caught it.
Still…annoyed. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, no drugs, haven’t had soda in twenty years, have good cholesterol… wtf. |^(
I ate a half of container of dehydrated veggie chips last night, I think I am going to die from the bloat. Someone call the equine vet, I need a gastric tube of mineral oil to cure this colic.
Does anyone want to walk me all night? haha
@Coloma No but I’ll shove my garden hose nozzle up your ass and crank it up for a few. Will that help?
^^^ Haha….that works for bloated mares too. Touche! whinny, snort, stomps foot
@Coloma Sorry lady, I couldn’t resist that. You know you can take any shot at me. You are a lot of fun.
@Adirondackwannabe and you know I can take it…uh, well, metaphorically speaking. haha
Yes, it;s all about fun…otherwise might as well shoot ourselves. ;-)
Yeah, I have a lot of fun with you. If we can’t laugh at ourselves who can we laugh at?
You can both laugh at me.
@ GloPro…we could combine our names.
Gloloma, sounds lie a terrible disease. lol
I’m going to rename some random body part a Gloloma. Oh, your Gloloma looks swollen today. Is your Gloloma sore?
Niiiiiicccccce Gloloma ya got there.
^^^ Haha…you guys are funny!
Gloloma…a glaucoma condition where your eyes glow.
Gloloma… a glanimal which isn’t an animal.
And all this time I thought the red eye was from the camera flash. Turns out I have Gloloma and crappy weed.
The Moose Goose is very fitting. Marwyn likes a nice rack.
*** Hah…yes, he is a full breasted goose. lol
I am still colicking here this morning, I think I need to be put down. haha
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