How do you pay or who pays for the after hook up meal?

It’s not so much that there was sex involved, as much as there is a bit of etiquette on both sides. Whose idea was it to go out to breakfast? She was at home, did she not want to make breakfast or didn’t have food ? Or did he suggest saving her the trouble of cooking for him (it’s her kitchen) and go out to eat?

Like any dating scenario, it’s a matter of communicating and also being generous with a partner. She should have expected to split the check; he should have paid before she came back.

I would like to know what magazine. That article is crap. Women’s mags don’t usually spout such bullshit. The article may be on how to tell if you’re dating a loser, but that isn’t about who pays… I have never ever ever heard of anything like that going down.
No woman in her right mind would see that guy again, and it isn’t about who pays.
For the record, if I’m hooking up with a guy it becomes a non-issue. Whichever one of us has money in our pocket and reaches for it first will pay. I wouldn’t think to go Dutch at a greasy spoon where it’s a $20 meal, come on and no man in his right mind would pay only his half while I’m in the bathroom.
I would notice if it became a habit for me to pay, and would stop seeing him. I also am used to offering to either pay or tip, which is fine.
@zenvelo I would have cooked, you’re correct. If we went out to breakfast I would not have expected to split the meal. That’s cheap if you just fucked. I would either pay or tip. No explanation as to why, that’s just the way women think.

Any woman who chooses just to “hook up” with any dude that will do for the night should not be expecting to be treated like a lady.

@Cruiser it didn’t say it was a one night stand. Maybe it was the third date. All it says is the meal after the initial hookup.
who wants an uncomfortable meal after a one night stand?

@GloPro She did say…“She was complaining because the guy she hooked up with, not her boyfriend, or anything like that,”

And if this was not their first time “hooking up” then she should at least know him well enough to know by then and not be so surprised that he is not picking up the check.

Ah. Then I agree with your first comment and stand by my wondering why she’d go to breakfast the next day anyway. If you start your relations that way they aren’t going anywhere.

The one who has the most orgasms. Everybody wins. ;-)

Dude fell down. From any aspect that you consider, he is at least cheap and at worst, inconsiderate. He had the woman, her bed and apartment. He left her with the dirty linen, and worse. He probably won’t be invited back, and the woman is already spreading the word about his chivalry deficit. It would be kind to believe that he just doesn’t know any better, but even that situation is a check mark against his character for not even troubling to to consider the negatives involved with sticking his “conquest” with the check.

@stanleybmanly Or he very well could be a gentleman at heart, maybe even opened the door to Denney’s but simply didn’t have the coin in his wallet to pay for her.

Broke is a legitimate excuse, but it is inexcusable to be broke and sitting in a restaurant with a woman unaware of the circumstances.

@stanleybmanly Had we had a link to the original article I might be able to comment more on this…but knowing this story was filtered through @Hypocrisy_Central brain leaves me in a slightly vulnerable position that I think I will excuse myself from further hypothetical comments.

After a sex marathon with me, he would fall at my feet and offer me the world. You’re welcome. Of course, he would pay for breakfast.

Seriously, I would have been prepared and even offered to pay. I never assume I’m being treated. Though, I would find his manner cheap and off-putting. There wouldn’t be a repeat performance after that.

According to hubby, he would expect to pay but it would be nice if she didn’t just assume. Did she hook up with him for sex or for what he could buy her? Is she whoring herself out? If all she wants is breakfast, where can he get her number?

@GloPro These days what is your expectation when a person meets a guy and between date one and date five they do the horizontal mambo, who should, or how should the after hook up meal be handled?
The last time of the details, just to inform you one more.

If you start your relations that way they aren’t going anywhere.
You’d be surprised how many do.

@stanleybmanly Dude fell down. From any aspect that you consider, he is at least cheap and at worst, inconsiderate. He had the woman, her bed and apartment. He left her with the dirty linen, and worse.
Did he really though? I would have paid for her if I were him, but these days some women get offended if you try to be nice to them. I once tried to help a woman move a folding table to set it up for a function and she said, ”What, you think because I am a woman I can’t handle a folding table? I am a woman and I am strong.”, today there are some women who feel they are giving ground to have any man assist them. Maybe he had money, but felt she would think he was taking the lead if he just sutomatically paid, that he would be getting some advantage or authority somehow.

@Juels According to hubby, he would expect to pay but it would be nice if she didn’t just assume.
Back when I was young, at least in this area, the protocol; was much clearer. Be it we did not have sex muddying the waters that soon after knowing someone, us guys had to put in at least 6 months of dutiful boyfriend work to get to 2nd base, and it wasn’t a hand job or blowjob back then. Even if she suggested you go to eat, if you agreed to go eat where she suggested, you know it was you paying; so if it was too expensive of a place, you suggested somewhere different. If you somehow managed to explore every inch of her like Lewis and Clark, you were even more going to pay for her meal.

@Hypocrisy_Central I’m the one that said it wasn’t a one night stand. But thank you for confirming what I said.
It’s so rare that you agree with me enough to repeat it for me.
And @Cruiser could also be correct in confirming it was not her boyfriend, since people don’t tend to be monogamous right away.
If you are dating a woman who is offended when you are nice to them you shouldn’t need to be hit with a red flag to see it. Run. I don’t know any of those women anyway, but if those are the women you are asking out I am sorry for you.

@Juels I can see that call:

“Hey, I’m horny and I have a coupon for IHOP. Are you busy?”

Mmmm IHOP…

@rojo… It was National Pancake Day a couple of weeks ago. Everyone at IHOP got a free stack. My phone did not ring. Bummer.

Can I borrow that coupon? I’m thinking of hitting hubby up for sex and pancakes.

Hey! If you went to an early breakfast FIRST and then went home, you could stock up on whipped cream and topping to use later!

Win! Win!

Aren’t they open 24/7?

Breakfast is a LOT cheaper than dinner. If I end up back in the market, I am for sure going this route.

Taco Bell has $.69 cent tacos on Mondays and are open late for the 4th meal. Boom. You don’t even have to wait for breakfast.
If we’re breaking out whipped cream we are going to YOUR house, not mine!

OK, I’ll get out the rubber sheets too!

I do love the adult slip-n-slide

We all pay when we find ourselves debating the meal buying rules of two people, who we don’t know, that just fucked.

For the record, I would have made breakfast and gone back for round two.

@Blondesjon and incorporated breakfast INTO round two? Less the hot coffee

^^ For the record, I would have made breakfast and gone back for round two.
What if they were too tired to cook after an all night marathon of danicng between the sheets?

^^ If they’re exhausted after 1 round, then it must have been phenomenal. :) The neighbors should have come over with popcorn, pizza, and beer to watch the show by that time. Hit them up for a meal and keep going.

The guy was right. If I didn’t know him well I wouldn’t want to feel beholden, half is fair for friends.

If it was truly just a hook up, I wouldn’t be at breakfast with the guy in the first place. If I were for some reason, I’d pay my part, but if he didn’t at least offer to pay, I’d think he was cheap. It’s a double standard, but I was raised by a man that still pays for everyone at the table when eating at a restaurant, and it’s not like he’s wealthy. Like I said, though, I wouldn’t go out for breakfast with guy I had a one night stand with.

I have no problem paying and I’ve paid for many dinners my husband and I shared while dating simply because I had more money than he did at the time and I was the one insisting on a decent restaurant instead of fast food. However, the fact that I was paying was determined prior to the dinner. If I didn’t know the guy all that well and he didn’t at least offer to pay, it would be a bit of a turn off. I wouldn’t bitch about it to some trash magazine, though.

Hook up meals? Clearly I am out of the loop. haha
I guess whoever initiates the hook up should offer to buy their poor used up hooker-upper a meal after a hard days night. lol

They should both pay, its a mutual hook up. Why should he pay? She is a hooker that requires pay via breakfast!? Why should she pay? It’s called being grown up and wearing your big boy and girl panties.

she should also wash the sheets, since she wanted to use her bed, right?

This wasn’t a date, but he didn’t chew off his arm and sneak out, either. If I had been the girl, I would have offered, absolutely to cover my share of the bill. (as this has never happened to me, I can’t say for sure.) But it wasn’t a date. Unless he specifically said, ‘Last night was great, How about I take you out for breakfast.’ I would have paid my share of the bill. My mother taught me manners. (she also taught me not to ‘hook-up’ but we’ll just ignore that part for now) This is about manners and etiquette. It seems that neither of them was very sharp on the manners.