Would you like to play the "farcical movie summary game"?
In this game, you take the plot of a movie, and distill it to a single sentence.
For example,
Man of Steel: ”Superman punches a giant laser.”
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40 Answers
Nemo: a gloomy father and a mentally disoriented woman try to save a rebellious kid.
Oh oh something like ” Rocky punches a dead cow” that type of thing?
The question is, am I enough of a jerk to give away the spoilers that are burning in my brain.
Things like:
Fight Club: a man with anger management problems rediscovers himself.
Fight Club – Me and my shadow (boxer)
The Wizard of Oz – Just stay home
Frankenstein – Never use second-hand parts
Oldboy: a hermit rejoins society; falls in love with a pretty younger woman.
Gattaca: Pervy doctors watch you pee.
I guess that’s more a moral of the story than a plot summary.
Secretary: I’ve been a bad, bad girl, making naughty, dirty grammatical errors.
Breaking Dawn: relax, teenagers, there’s only love, and the bad guys will lose without anyone even touch them ;)
The Host: two girls occupy the same body and make a fool of themselves in front of everyone :D
The Hound of the Baskervilles: a poor normal dog suddenly gets transformed into a hellish creature by a greedy man only to die a tragic death through no fault of his own.
Fuck you human!
Melancholia – Earth goes ka-boom No sequel, guaranteed.
Incredibles – Brains, and the innovation and technology that burst forth, can go fall into a jet turbine.
Titanic: Horrible tragedy, horrible acting.
Every mother has a favorite. – Sophie’s Choice
“Misery” Beware of number one fans.
@Blondesjon Or, in other words “Mom always liked you best?”
Ben Hur – Loved him, hated Hur.
The Day After Tomorrow – There’s a disaster hurtling toward Earth, and it’s this movie.
(I confess, I stole both of these from better critics than I.)
Halloween; Guy in Star Trek mask goes mental with knife.
Dawn of the Dead; Four friends hole up in a zombie infested mall; they eat free spam.
The Pianist; Some poor Jew is running around trying to survive The Holocaust while Nazis shoot at him.
Eraserhead; Affro VS cow fetus.
Rubber; Live tire rolls around, exploding people’s heads.
Trainspotting; Featuring the worst toilet in Scotland.
The Big Lebowski – Wealthy woman makes sure unemployed man receives health care.
Eraserhead; Affro VS cow fetus.
well fucking done
The Rise of Animals: A girl roundhouse kicks a horse after animals go crazy.
The switch: a man has problems with semen.
The Big Sleep: an insane girl manages to outwit Sherlock Holmes…
Memento: A man with mild neurocognitive disorder associated with traumatic brain injury seeks supposed revenge for his wife but really is going off on a murder spree.
The Labyrinth – A girl saves her brother from muppets and David Bowie.
Flight of the Navigator – A boy in a shape-shifting, liquid metal, time traveling SPACESHIP is on the run from the 1980’s U.S. government, and never thinks to fly more than 20ft off the ground to escape.
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Earth is a computer designed to generate the ultimate question.
The Fifth Element – Kissing saves the world.
City of God – Everyone kills everyone, except the photographer.
Avatar: The Last Air Bender – I don’t know, cause I never made it past 15 mins…
Alice In Wonderland – Girl follows white dude to strange surroundings to experiment with unusuals substances and experience skewed physical reactions. (or, the sixties)
The Bourne Identity – Man with amnesia finds out he was always confused about his identity, then does a lot of running from government killers. (He should have just stayed with the fishing boat and learned to repair nets.)
Thre Monument Men – Old guys face death, ridicule, and other dangers to save lots of art.
Twister – Kansas in June, with flying cows.
Oz, The Great And Powerful – A circus magician’s prowess with women flung with great force at challenging new ground where witches fail to emasculate him.
@Pachy, The Day After Tomorrow is about global warming. Nothing is flung at the planet. Perhaps you were thinking of one of the meteor or asteroid movies?
@Esedess, Kissing saves the world, LOL! That’s funny.
Only The Lonely – A North Korean mother expects a Western city to think like her.
Cake Eaters: Disabled girl wants to have sex, they have sex, and then the movie is over.
Forrest Gump – Braces on healthy legs, inane advice for a slow mind, all history and celebrities of the fifties and sixties tied to this one boy who lives in a box of chocolates and fishes for shrimp. (Gary Sinise brilliant.)
Ghost – Will kiss Whoopi for a penny.
Terminator – Yesterday, today, tomorrow, shake well until evenly blended.
Legally Blonde – Um, okay, pink silk, of courRrRrse.
“All Is Lost” starring Robert Redford—Hope Floats.
Titanic: Leonardo DiCaprio drowns because he is an idiot.
Avatar: Tall Smurf Indians are saved by a white guy.
Harry Potter: Bad child actors flying around on CG brooms.
Zero Dark Thirty: CIA Propaganda.
Jurassic Park: Lawyer dies on a toilet.
Jar Jar Trek 2009: Vulcan gets destroyed by Lens Flares and a Game of Thrones Ship.
Jar Jar Trek into Darkness: White British Khan kills Admiral Robocop.
Godzilla: The main character is killed by Cloverfield 30 minutes in and is replaced by the guy who played Kickass.
Edge of Tomorrow. Tom cruise dies. and dies. and dies.
Transformers: Junkyard Optimus Prime murders a defeated robot begging for mercy.
Twilight: Mentally ill teenager is raped by a pedo pretending to be a gay vampire.
Ben 10: basically a Pokemon fan-movie, with the trainer turns into the Pokemons.
“Gravity”—Hope Floats (again).
“Gravity”: Sandra Bullock sqeals the whole movie.
Kindergarten Cop – Big gruesome guy tries to corral kids with militant behavior and gets the hots for a school teacher.
Volcano – Damn, LA, don’t you get the concept of evacuate?
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