What's your ideal job?
There’s a new order worldwide.
ALL jobs pay exactly the same, no tips.
You get a job, an occupation, you keep it.
What do you choose?
Why?
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62 Answers
A teacher or a medical doctor. Provided the job came with the skills.
Thank you for this Q! It helps me realize I miss what I used to do. I have been thinking about going back to work.
I would be an Account Executive with some merchandising involved for clothing or cosmetics.
I’ll have a blow job please…to go!
Geez! I had to write that question twice. My signal dumped the first time around. That version included @ucme, already know you plan to pick blow, just wanna know give or take?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
A craftsman.
I want to make stuff, and fix stuff, and make old things look new and pretty. I want to sew clothes and weave my own cloth and carve wood toys and refinish old furniture.
I want to build wicker-work and make new oak barrels for my friends who brew their own beer. Oh, and carpentry. I want to build boxes and turn chair legs.
And I want to do it all without power tools.
Wow! I got out of breath reading that answer! You are very ambitious. I can think of at least ten things I’d like you to craft for me first thing.
@JLeslie that sounds exciting, always fresh, new things going on.
I’d like to be an exhibit curator at an art or decorative arts museum or a set designer for the theater. I would like the combination of creativity and intellectual challenge combined with either of those. Or a fiction writer if I didn’t have to go on book tours.
@Jonesn4burgers – I’m learning how to do most of those already, and have hopes of learning the rest fairly soon. I haven’t found a cooper to teach me barrel-making yet, but I have high hopes.
I really want to get a manually powered turning wheel. And a potter’s wheel, and a kiln. And I really need a good set of wood chisels.
Tentacle Rape Machine Tester.
@Seek; Have you tried hand spinning yarn from wool? And raising and shearing the sheep? Around here it’s as common as mowing your lawn.
Something with little responsibility and very little actual work… Hmm.. Snorkel instructor?
I haven’t yet, but I have a bunch of new friends who will be teaching me such things. I’m on the lookout for a good drop spindle, and a source of roving that isn’t Hobby Lobby. Raising my own sheep is my Powerball bugout plan.
@Seek; Then let us add sheep’s milk cheese and ice cream to your wish list.
Mmmm… cheese. I could get into cheese making.
Secret agent – but only if a got a number like 007 and a license to kill.
Nature photographer. I love nature and photography. Dream job.
Summer – Backpacking trail guide/expedition leader.
Winter – Skiing trail guide/host for groups.
Spring and Fall – Bicycling supported tour guide.
Holistic healer, which I am studying for now :) Yay!
The perfect job would be:
• One that generates more income while I am sleeping than I can spend when I am awake.
• I would be my own boss, and set my own hours.
• I can be creative when I need to be and business oriented when I care to be.
• It would empower the poor and homeless by providing whatever training and job skills needed to get them back on track.
That would be the basic makings of a perfect job to me.
If I was smart enough to work my way through university (which I’m not) I’d love to be an archaeologist. History is one of my passions; I’ve helped out as a volunteer on a local dig before and it was great fun.
I still would want to be a mortician.
Head of a science foundation.
Architect—but operating on a grade school schedule (at least until my kids are done with school).
MWF 9am-3pm
Major holidays off.
Spring, summer, and winter break.
I’d also like to start an art and design collaborative in an urban, low-income, neighborhood that would rehabilitate clothing, furniture and building materials.
@Seek We’d love to have you. ;)
With a magic pause button for mid afternoon naps!
Commercial Airline Pilot.
Because it was always something I wanted to do since I was a little boy. And I’m fascinated with aviation.
@Bluefreedom Can you still chase that dream after your service is up? BTW…how is the promotion going?
Wonderful visions people! I have begun my plan to take over the world. Mwahaha! You shall be given the jobs which you have described. There are a couple of changes. @ragingloli, you can begin right away by working on my private fleet. Love to have your expertise!
@Hypocrisy_Central, my question stipulated that all jobs be equal in pay, to the penny, no tips. Since you persist in overlooking rules, you will be my first prisoner, and shall serve your sentence giving me foot massages for free. (giggle twitter). @talljasperman, since you lack the proper schooling to head a science department, you can begin as a lab assistant. You shall henceforth be called Igor. When you are no longer with us, your head can be donated to science. That’s the best I can do.
Now, on the serious side, wow! I love these choices! There’s a lot of preferring to serve those in need, the furthering of knowledge, looking after our environment. I love the heart and soul I see represented here.
@fluthernutter
I would truly be honoured. I’ll bring my sewing machine and my flooring tools.
Problem solver. “The ‘go to guy’. You come to me with a valid question and if I can’t solve your problem or link you to a great lead in 24 hours, double back.
No tips, but my palm’s sorta scratchy.
Art gallery proprietor, serving up wine and cheese and smiles and great conversation while surrounded by amazing art forms of all mediums, painting, sculpture, glass, pottery, metal, wood. Or…animal rescue person, interior design, and also…I would love to have the job of naming paint samples. How fun would that be?
@gondwanalon A big Kahuna right? You don’t want to be a little Kahuna. haha
I’m weird; I love what I do, so I’d probably still be a CNC machinist.
@jerv Oh shit. Can I add CNC machinist (or some aspect of it) to my dream job?
@Jonesn4burgers Since you persist in overlooking rules, you will be my first prisoner, and shall serve your sentence giving me foot massages for free.
They better be very pretty feet and smooth to boot.
@fluthernutter Sure. My shift is short a couple of guys, so we could use the help. And having 3-day weekends every weekend is cool!
@TheRealOldHippie, I forgot to mention, your number is granted (martini?). @Juels snorkel instructor sounds fine. My daughter would love to be your first pupill! @ucme, I think @ragingloli can help you with what you want, as soon as he makes sure all the rape units are working properly.;-) @jerv, I think it is wonderful you would want the very same job you have now. it says a lot about the choices you’ve made for yourself, not to mention the great luck you’ve had following them.
@Jonesn4burgers You just wrote our names & look, they’re close together…alert the authorities!!
I really want to be Bill Gates. I’ll do the job for free. I want to have nearly endless resources to spend making the world a better place.
Buy order on the Rainforest!
I want to be the female version of Ted Turner. Buy up gazillions of acres of land and keep them as wild life preserves.
@ibstubro, hmmmmm, I’ve been thinking you over. You do realize Bill Gates is a man, not a job description? :-D I would like for you to be one of my top advisors. I would be afraid to turn my back on one so clever and ambitious.
@ucme, you squeal a lot. I’m giving new thought what to do with you. HA!
@Coloma, don’t worry, wildlife preserves will abound. You shall be of secretary in charge of wetland birds and their habitats. You will be required to live on the largest preserve. ((HUGS))
@Hypocrisy_Central, I’m sure my piggies will be pink, lovely, happy, when you get done with them. They hurt all the time, and need real TLC. On the upside, you will probably get certain privileges if you do a real good job, you know, nice furniture in the prison cell, good desserts.
@SQUEEKY2, since you seem a bit cofused about what you want to do, I think we will make you camera operator at a multiplex theater. You will see lots of movies, have free popcorn.
@syz, you and @Cruiser, can work together if you like. I would like to have you both visit me regularly to show me your work. You will both be visiting @Coloma, who can set you up with some great work with birds, wetlands, hiking trails. I will expect you wildlife experts to keep an eye on my little froggie friends. Frogs are so neat, and they are not doing well these days many places about the world.
@LornaLove, yes please, I would like for you to advise me, and help my poor broken body. We will make certain you keep well supplied.
@thorninmud, absolutely!
@AshLeigh, sure, but, can you say why? I’m not judging, I promise. I’m curious what sends people to some pursuits, and this is one I’d like to hear about.
I’m sure my piggies will be pink, lovely, happy, when you get done with them. They hurt all the time, and need real TLC. On the upside, you will probably get certain privileges if you do a real good job, you know, nice furniture in the prison cell, good desserts.
I guess those 6 years working in a nail salon doing hands and feet will pay off.
@SQUEEKY2, If I’m about to take over the world, just who are you planning to assassinate? The people currently in power, or me?
@Hypocrisy_Central, do I know how to pick ‘em or what? Maybe I will have mercy on you. If you do great for a few weeks.I might let you go. :-)
Bill Gates is the chairman of his foundation. I simply want his job. Yes, Bill and Melinda can keep the house, the plane and the country. I just want control of the charitable trust, @Jonesn4burgers.
Okay, okay, okay, okay,okay! I’ll have @SQUEEKY2 take care of it for you. :-)
First, I want you to locate somebody who can teach @Seek the barrel making trade. Thanks!
I want to be the goose herder if we’re going for obscure and bygone professions.
But, @Coloma, didn’t you see? I put you in charge of the wetland preserves, and the birds and wildlife found there. You can have all the geese about as you can stand. You’re my favorite goose herder, and I promise it’ll be more than you’d hoped. It includes residence on the property of the largest preserve. You let me know what furnishings, art, etc. you need, and I will see you get them.
@Cruiser. Too far along in life now for the commercial pilot idea to be a reality. Just way too much training and certifications and high costs.
As far as the promotion, the board members said I did really good and had no problem recommending me for promotion. Probably by next week the orders will be processed and I’ll officially be a Master Sergeant at that point. =)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Let us know when it gets official! I propose we have a promotion party for @Bluefreedom then. Master Sergeant; that’s a big deal!
@Jonesn4burgers, for me, it isn’t about being morbid. A lot of people think I’m joking, or trying to shock people when I say I want to be a mortician, but I’m entirely serious.
I didn’t bury my barbies as a child. I am a mostly mentally stable person, who happens to be interested in becoming a mortician. I’ve never viewed it as “someone has to do it”
To me, it’s about presenting someone’s deceased loved one in a relaxed position. They look peaceful, like they’re sleeping. When my grandmother passed away, the mortician did a fantastic job and it made it all a lot less traumatizing for us.
A mortician is so many things. They’re artists, and counselors. They know a lot about the human body (obviously) and chemicals. There are so many cool things that I’m interested in already that a mortician learns in a mortuary college.
The work, I believe, is satisfying and you help people who are grieving over the death of someone they love.
It’s not easy to explain. It’s just something I’ve been interested in for a long time.
@AshLeigh I dated a lovely woman who was a makeup artist for funeral homes. She said it was hugely rewarding to make someone presentable for an open casket viewing. She was a very normal compassionate woman….nothing weird or morbid about her.
@AshLeigh, I do understand. I have heard similar descriptions before concerning the craft, but I was curious to know your reasons. I think it is super. It is a special kind of devotion; to the people who have passed, AND to the people they have left behind.
@Cruiser, You are Danny Akroyd!?!????????!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, couldn’t resist the reference to the movie My Girl.
Haven’t yet read any of the other answers, will do so after posting.
Vegetarian food taste tester for Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. I get to taste samples of new potential products, write reviews, and make recommendations.
@Kardamom You would have loved going on trail rides with me over the years. Saddle bags packed with artisan breads, hummus dip, wine/beer and fruit. Giddy up!
Only down side, having to dismount a lot to pee. lol
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