Shed a tear. Finish this sentence: "I'll know I've finally gotten old when I _____!"?
Asked by
ibstubro (
18804
)
April 16th, 2014
This is a reflection/humor question about ourselves, not what we observe in other people.
Myself? I love to drive like a bat-outta-hell and have cretain stretches of road where I can safely indulge (low traffic, high visibility and decent blacktop. Knowing that it burns fuel and rubber, I like to jack-rabbit start. Passing is a thrill. So, my answer is:
“I’ll know I’ve finally gotten old when I never push my car past ‘put’”.
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58 Answers
..when I complain that the music is too loud in Chipotle (which I did today). It’s a restaurant, not a dance club!
When I hold my first grandchild.
Think I am having a heart attack when all I need is to fart and burp.
…can’t do a cartwheel anymore.
...stop playing dress-up.
I have an answer but it’s so NSFW you ladies would beat me with rubber hoses at the least.
Have to hold something at arms length to be able to read it.
Look women in the eyes, cause I really care about their opinion.
When I can’t break 40 minutes on a 10K run.
@Seek Okay. When I see JoLo on American Idol with her really heavy lipstick and I immediately don’t think I have just the tool to take care of some of that.
Can’t get a boner anymore.
Become more interested in blood :D
@Adirondackwannabe I’m just guessing what will be my next stage of growing up, and what is more morbid than film-noir :)
@Mimishu1995 That doesn’t make you old. It just makes you more mature, and a little darker. Just don’t get too dark.
@Adirondackwannabe I won’t get too dark. I know how to keep myself in line. Because if I got too dark I would have turned into an asshole, and that’s clearly not why I’m living :)
You are so not an asshole. :)
…buy my first pack of Depends.
That’s okay, I knew what you meant.
When you hear music you grew up with on the “oldies” station.
When you see toys that you grew up with listed as “vintage” on eBay.
When you see kids you used to babysit on Facebook posting a picture of themselves in a bathing suit with their boyfriend.
When your kids ask you what an 8-track or a ditto machine is.
When I shit my bed and don’t care.
When I can’t climb Mt Van Hoevenberg. It’s in the Lake Placid area and it’s where the bobsled track is located.
@Seek I will hit you later. Some men don’t understand women mean what they say
When it takes three quarters of hour to pee. Slow bladder !
Haha..this is so perfect, I JUST told my daughter yet another story about the highly neurotic little old lady neighbor and that if I ever become that neurotic please, please, make me a pot of Oleander tea. lol
When I become obsessed with mundane routine and have nothing better to do than invent demented worries and spy on the neighbors.
When I’m listening to Blind Melon’s No Rain and kids ask me if it’s from the 70’s. :(
… when all young people look beautiful to me :)
“I’ll know I’ve finally gotten old when I _____!”?
When I can’t remember what it was I wanted to say (which I can’t!)
When even with hearing aides you still need the volume of anything to be at 80+.
… when I start caring about age.
People have always told me I look younger than my age, but at this point in my life, when they say it, I know that’s not what they’re thinking.
Also, when I eat an early dinner at a cafeteria, I know the other diner see me looking as ancient as I see them. :(
When someone mentions “Blind Melon” and all I can think of is “Who the hell is Blind Melon?”
When I can’t distinguish between what I say and what my mother used to say.
Eh…who is this Blind Melon, sonny, I need my ear trumpet
When waiting for the mailman is the highlight of my day and god forbid, you do not collect your mail right away. It can’t possibly wait in the mailbox for another few hours. lol
Ancient neighbor that never lets you forget the the mail has come. I just smile and drive away, without my mail, haha.
…use my balls as a foot scrub.
Can vouch for being able to give better blowjobs with my teeth in a glass next to the bed.
When my mother, who was only 19 years older than I , recently passed away.
And when I keep thinking about more and more things to add to this thread.
@GloPro Ahhhh! so there are SOME advantages to old age. At least for a few lucky recipients.
I’ll know I’ve finally gotten old when I ‘tut, tut’ over the obituaries in the paper every day. Currently I only do it on about a bi-annual basis. The morbidity of it depresses me,
When I yell at little mongrel kids that are harassing my park ducks and geese.
Just did this the other day, boy about 7–8 throwing rocks at the birds, told him very firmly..” DO NOT hurt those birds, they live here!”
Kid looking sheepish, me..” Do you UNDERSTAND!” Sheepish head nod. dad didn’t say a word….moron! haha
I once was walking down the sidewalk about 2 blocks from my house, @Coloma and came up behind a little boy about 6–7 years old just as he kicked a friendly kitty. I grabbed the back of his neck and said sternly “Don’t you EVER do that again!” I took my life in my own hands, as it was on my walking route, 2 blocks from my home, and mama was big enough to go bear hunting with a switch!
When I hire old people to manage cutting edge technical projects
When old lady next door any little change in my routine makes me lose all equilibrium. OMG! Meals on Wheels was 2.7 minutes late with my lunch! please, oh please, let me be dead. lol
When Kleenex becomes the most important item in your life. haha
When tampons become the least important thing in your life.
As a male, I have never placed any value on Tampons, @GloPro.
@GloPro Already there, it is great! Not missin’ a thing….freedom from hormones frees you up to really just be. haha
@ibstubro As a male, I place a very great value on Tampons.
Wow… I passed the test on most of these – except I still have my own teeth.
I feel old whenever I hear myself saying, “Back in my time…” or “I remember when…”
The thing is, I’m really not very old!
When…elderly neighbor again I become OCD because my aide used a different coffee cup for my morning brew and it was SO BIG I ” couldn’t gage” how much coffee I was having. Jesus mercy, this was yesterdays old folk obsession that I got to hear all about, in great detail, for at least 4 minutes. Oh, and her food was too dry, 3 times in a week she mentions her fear of her food being too dry.” WTF! lol
When some of my favorite food is no longer tasty, and my “poisons” become delicious…
@ibstubro Old people fart all the time and just keep talking… It’s so odd!
It’s not odd, @GloPro. It’s old. Sphincter muscles.
Death to old sphincters. lol
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