Who would like to play a game of "would you rather"?

Would you rather begin every sentence with “listen up dumbass” or end every sentence with “just kidding”?

Listen up dumbass

Would you rather not be able to love nor care at all or not be able to have sex (that’s ALL types of sex)?

I would never give up being able to love and care.

Would you lie or lose your job?

Lie.

Would you rather be homeless for the rest of your life, or serve a life sentence in federal prison?

I choose prison. The shower rape is just a bonus.
Would you rather give pain, or receive it?

I don’t know what pain is.

The strong wolf, or the lazy cow?

Hey lone wolf, would you rather stick to the rules, or make up your own?.

Make up my own.

Would you rather be a samurai or a ninja?

A ninja.

Would you rather be funny or smart?

I’d rather be sunny & fart.
Would you rather knit spaghetti or pluck a chicken.

I’d rather knit spaghetti I guess (though I don’t know how to knit).

Would you rather save a school bus of the elderly, or a schoolbus of grade school kids? (the other bus would perish in some accident).

Oh yes, bringing the serious shizzle now.

The old have had their chance… Save the kiddos!

Would you rather dive to the Mariana Trench in a submarine or head off into space in a shuttle?

I rather SPACE!

Would you rather die of cancer or die of AISD?

AISD, because I’m pretty sure that’s not a thing. Also, no die dies of AIDS, they die of complications that go along with a severely diminished immune system. And these days, people with cancer die way faster than those with AIDS. Your lesson for today is now over.

Would you rather be broke but married to someone you truly love, or be loaded and have no one?

Loaded and have no one—I don’t think I need anyone. I don’t need an excess of money, either, so I feel I would donate some of it.
Would you rather eat a tarantula or lamb testicles?

I think I’ll go with the tarantula.
Would you rather be able to breathe underwater but never be able to go more than 1 mile from the coastline, or be able to fly but not be able to go closer than 1 mile to the sea (although you can fly above it if you stay more than 1 mile above)?

Flying.

Would you rather get mauled by a bear or mauled buy a tiger?

I’d go for the tiger…

Would you rather meet your perfect match once (only once!) or never at all?

Only once would be better than never.
Would you rather French kiss a dog or a cat?
(That was too gross for this early in the day)

A dog, because I pretty much do that every day as it is. A dog owner that doesn’t allow their dog to lick their face is a crappy dog owner. :) While my tongue doesn’t get involved, I have accidentally ended up with some Daisy tongue in my mouth once or twice. Sneaky little tramp.

Plus, kitty tongues are too scratchy.

Would you rather be 4’5” or 7’7”?

4’5”, I guess. For women, it is more acceptable to be short than freakishly tall. Plus, really tall people often have health problems.

Would you rather have lots of soso friends, or just one really good one?

The latter.

WYR live to be 80 as a billionaire, or live a billion years comfortably without having to work, but never being rich.

One really good one. Quality over quantity. And I don’t want to live a billion years so I guess the billionaire.
Would you rather exist on a diet of pizza only, any varieties, or live as a vegetarian? (No pizza for the vegetarians)

Pizza only. I can’t give up meat. I could get every type of food I want. You said any variety. Mashed potato and roast beef pizza. I just invented it. Gravy for sauce. Mashed potatoes in place of cheese and roast beef to top it off, all on a flaky biscuit crust.

Would you rather have a horribly disfigured face or no legs without any chance of ever getting prosthesis?

No legs. People use eye contact to communicate and people would stare instead of connect… Or avoid looking at all. That sounds lonely.
@28lorelei Really? A tarantula? Give me Fancy Rocky Mountain Oysters anytime over a spider… <shudder>.
Would you rather watch a Mexican Donkey show or your parents having porno style sex?

What’s a Mexican donkey show?

I still think it has to be better than anything involving my parents and sex of any sort.

Would you rather keep a 10-year full time job that causes you tons of stress, or a part-time job that doesn’t pay enough but feeds you emotionally and spiritually, and helps you realize your musical potential?

@yankeetooter Donkey show

Since I had no idea I even had musical potential, it would definitely be a realization. I could never stay in a miserable job for 10 years. Bye bye, soul.

Would you rather never brush your teeth again or never trim your nails again? No biting or breaking off, either!

Oh, well that is disgusting, but I still can’t make up my mind. I mean, it is my parents (and they’re in their 70’s to boot.

@GloPro I thought you were going to show one.
Would you rather walk in on your parents having sex or confess exactly how you know what a Mexican Donkey show is?

What about my question?

@yankeetooter Go ahead. Sorry, lost my head in the heat of battle.

@yankeetooter I prefer the latter.

Would you rather kill a human being or your pet?

And @livelaughlove21, if it were me, I would rather die of cancer. Because if I died of AIDS, I would be regarded as a cancer of the society, a disgrace of my family, an interior goon, blah blah blah… even after I died. No one would even look at my grave, ever!

I can’t answer the pet/human being question. I know what I should be saying, but I love my pets way too much, and they’re the only ones who are there for me day in and day out.

@yankeetooter Ha! It seems that I’m the most controversial player here :D

I’d rather kill a human, no question about it.

I’d choose the part-time job that doesn’t pay enough but feeds me emotionally and spiritually, and helps me realize my musical potential although I have little musical potential and I’m not dependent on a wage for my living.

Would you rather kill a homeless person with your car, or die trying to avoid hitting a homeless person with your car?

I’d have to make that call at the time based on which one of us screwed up to be in danger.
Would you rather be the driver or the passenger in a car which is about to be in a head on collision with a bigger vehicle?

I’d like to be a river…that sounds cool! :P

Hmmm…all kidding aside, the passenger. Less control to try and avoid it, but less guilt if it happens.

Would you rather have a job where the better part of your day you’re often bored and trying to find busy work, or a job where there’s often never a moment to breather, and you’re in danger of being hurt from having to break up physical altercations, at least a few times a week?

A job where the better part of my day I’m trying to find busy work, because I almost never bore myself.

Would you rather visit Moscow or the Moon?

I’ve always wanted to see Moscow. If only we could pause the political bullshit. With sanctions, is it even easy to travel to Russia as a tourist right now? Probably no harder than the moon…

Would you rather never brush your teeth again or never trim your nails again? No biting or breaking of the nails, your teeth won’t rot or be painful.

Never brush my teeth. There’s always mouthwash, and my nails drive me insane when they get a millimeter too long.

WYR eat maggots or the flesh the maggots were feeding on previously?

Maggots! At least they’re alive, and that’s less scary.

WYR go to prison or go to hell?

Prison. It’s less permanent.

Would you rather learn a Romance language or a middle eastern one?

Mid-Eastern. I’d know first hand the difference between propaganda and fact.

WYR spend 3 years traveling to Mars, or spend 3 years eating nothing but Mars candy bars?

I’d take the trip. Would you rather look good and be rich or feel good and be broke?

@ZEnzen Middle eastern for sure (took French already). WYR rollover your IRA or pay 30% tax & cash out early?

Hm…I’ll pretend to know something about an IRA and say the rollover?

@Mimishu1995 You have a really warped idea of HIV/AIDS. I just don’t even know what to say about your comment…

Would you rather be sexually attracted to fruit or have permanent cheeto dust on your fingers?

Bananas are a fruit. How else do people learn how to apply a condom in sex ed?
Would you rather be on Survivor or The Bachelor/Bachelorette?

I would go for survivor.

Would you rather have your toilet paper roll down at the side of the wall or at the side of the roll that faces you?

The side that faces me, or over. unfortunately we have to flip it so it goes under because of the stupid holder… if you don’t put it that way the whole roll flies off when you pull to rip! First world problems…

Would you rather wear a parka in the summer or wear shorts in the winter?

Parka in the summer definitely. British summers aren’t exactly boiling anyway.

Would you rather travel by air or by sea?

By SEA. Because, Viking.

So say you got your own band, would you rather play in huge concert halls in front of thousands, or play in smaller places, like bars and whatnot?

Huge concert halls. There are fewer hazards there, unless you’re Sugarland. Small venues have hazards, just ask Great White.
Would you rather have turkey on a reuben, a Rachael or corned beef?

Seems like a rye question, but the cheese decides it?

I certainly don’t want a turkey on my (veggie) Reuben, but taking Rachael on a corned beef seem about =/+

WYR hear a siren wail, or a baby squeal?

Siren wail.

WYR eat the booger of a friend or a glob of earwax from same friend?

Booger. Earwax is so sour!
WYR be a vampire or a zombie?

Vampire. They’re sexy and women give up their necks for vampires, although the sunburn issue sucks.
WYR have it hot and sunny or cool and sunny.

Is 55 degrees fahrenheit considered cool? If so, I choose cool and sunny.

WYR be lost in the forest with nothing but the clothes on your back or stranded on a desert island with nothing but the clothes on your back?

Forest! At least water and food is easier to come by in a forest.
WYR invite a stranger to Fluther or not invite anyone at all?

Not invite anyone at all.

W Y R walk 10 miles in my shoes or 1000 in your own?

10 miles in your shoes!
WYR play TJBM or WYR?

Erm… Both are fun, but it’s fun playing WYR for a change :) I like TJBM too though, don’t get me wrong!
Would you rather be able to hear minds or predict the future?

Hear minds.

Would you rather own a theme park or host a television show?

Hmm… I’d rather host a TV show if I got to decide what to host it on (it would probably end up being on music), and as long as people would watch it… I could do so much in terms of getting awesome music out there! A theme park would be cool too though.
Would you rather be able to transform into a large predator or a small critter, able to creep into tiny spaces?

Small critter. Because I can be an asshole without being seen!
WYR be eaten by a shark or a tiger?

A tiger. I’m not entirely sure but I think that when they kill something, they make quick work of the prey before eating. A shark though, I mean I don’t think it really cares.

WYR have a trip to the moon, or inside to any place on Earth that you wanted?

Any places on Earth. The moon is deserted right now, full of rocks and nothing else, and that’s boring!
WYR be a mole or an earthworm.

I’d rather be a sparrow than a snail, a hammer than a nail, and a mole than an earthworm.

If I gotta be blind, at least I wanna be the eater and not the eats.

WYR be a politician or poker player?

I guess I could run the poker games in a brothel. I’d feel better about myself than if I was a politician.
WYR fish or hunt.

Fish. I just took up SUP – stand-up paddleboating – and there were two fishermen near me with snorkels and spearguns. Looks like fun.

WYR work in a brother as the manager or as a, er, working girl?

Brothel. I’m too old to work as a boi, and I would be the most absolutely awesome pimp ‘brothel manager’ that I would have would have the Best Little Whorehouse in Missouri in no time.

WYR listen to Rap or Opera as background noise for the rest of your days?

Opera. Rap is the worst abomination ever.
WYR drown in acid, or get burned alive?

Get burned alive. Because I would die quicker!
WYR die or be dead :D

@ragingloli Drowning in acid would be much faster!

WYR rather walk up a steep hill, or ride a bicycle?

@ibstubro How about my question?

Ride a bike.

Wyr be the joker or the riddler and why?

I think I’m more the Riddler. Quicker on my feet?

WYR be Mercury or Saturn?

Saturn. It has rings.

WYR eat stale bread or bales instead?

Bales of what? I threw so many when I was a kid I want to know what first.

WYR say “thank you” or “thanks”?

I’d rather say thank you sooooooo much.

@Adirondackwannabe cotton

wYR yodel or doodle?

Mine were hay doodle doodle doodle.
WYR hay or pot?

Hay!
WYR eat balut or fish sauce?

Neither. Ha, I broke this thread.

Nah, it’s not broke.

Sounds like balut and fish sauce win! Congratulation you two!
WYR have wings or have fish tail?

Fish tail? Are you guys friggin nuts? Why is all I got.
WYR have an Easter egg hunt on go to the dump?

Easter egg hunt! I heard that Easter egg are made of chocolate. CHOCOLATE!
WYR chocolate or egg?

Chocolate Easter eggs. Hershey. Candy coated.

WYR be able to fly like a bird or swim like a fish?

Fly. Air is everywhere. What good is swimming if you live in a desert?

Would you rather not be able to read or not be able to write?

GQ! Not be able to write, I think. I would be more comfortable letting a machine translate my voice to print, than translating print to verbal. I love books – the paper kind.

WYR not be able to smell, or not be able to taste? Can the 2 be separated?

Oh, the two can be separated. When you work in a medical setting it’s kind of a freaky thought that you are eating the gross things you smell, but I’d much rather breathe through my mouth than nose when there’s some nasty aromas in the air. And I love food. Don’t take away my sense of taste!

Would you rather be stuck in a traffic jam or standing in a really long line?

Standing in a really long line. At least I don’t have to rush and won’t be suffocated.
WYR be a day rabbit or a night owl?

Night Owl. I hate having to sleep.

Would you rather I ask in your stead or will you edit in time and ask

I’d rather you ask…

Boil your egss, by putting them in already boiling water or in cold and then heating it up?

I guess putting them in boiling water is the better way to do it right?

Would you rather never speak again, or have to say “Hashtag” every time you made a statement? lol

I would rather never speak again.
Would you rather live in a post apocalyptic nuclear wasteland, or during the Permian–Triassic extinction event?

@zenzen Oops, forgot to add the WYR.

Nuclear wasteland.

WYR live with the penguins on Antarctica or with the polar bears in the Arctic.

Penguins.
I can eat the penguins. The polar bear can eat me.
Would you rather die by being eaten alive from the inside by the millions offspring of an alien fly that laid its eggs inside of you, or slowly being turned into a sieve by a constant barrage of micro meteorites?

Being turned into a sieve by a constant barrage of micro meteorites. Being attacked from the outside is much better than from the inside.
WYR be a virus or an anti-virus?

Anti-virus, of course. I want to counter evil.

WYR eat crap or die?

DIE! A MAN (or woman?) OF HONOUR NEVER LIVES THAT SHAMEFULLY!
WYR become a policeman with the lowest rank or a Mafia boss?

The former.

Would you rather be a WWE bad guy or an MMA good guy?

Mixed martial arts good guy. I would have trouble maintaining the WWE cartoon character.

WYR eat a snake or a rat?

RAT! A lot of food can be made with rats. They’re delicious!
WYR eat or sleep?

right this second? Well, I’d rather eat this moment, seeing as it’s lunchtime and I’m rather hungry… normally I’d go with sleep, especially if I could have a lucid dream…
Would you rather live in the middle of the city, or in the middle of nowhere (but with beautiful scenery)?

In the middle of nowhere.

Would you rather have to face down one huge spider, or about twenty medium size spiders all at once?

In general, one huge spider, unless I have a powerful AoE attack.
When copulating with a gorilla, would you rather be the top, or the bottom?

I’d rather be under her.

WYR eat nothing but bacon for the rest of your life, or never eat bacon again?

Easy. I never eat bacon anyway, so I would of course never eat bacon “again”.
Would you rather suffer from narcolepsy every 5 minutes, or never sleep again and suffer from continuous sleep deprivation and all the assorted symptoms?

Narcolepsy. I’ll just have to TiVo it.

WYR rescue your bosom buddy pet, or a stranger’s child?

Stranger’s child. At least I’ll make myself popular!
WYR answer a difficult question or several easy questions?

Difficult question. W Y R learn to sew or knit.

Sew. I already know how to knit.
WYR be pushing the daisies or kick the bucket?

Daisies for me.

WYR explore a cave or a stream?

A cave. I can’t fucking swim!
WYR “fuck” or “shit”?

There’s nothing like a great shit to start the day off right.
W Y R watch a documentary or drama?

It depends on what each are about but generally I choose the documentary.

Do you prefer an Irish or Scottish accent?

I admit that I do not know the difference. I would be pleased if you posted, or sent me, audio examples? There is a prominent journalist on NRP that has an odd (to me), appealing non-British, Isle, accent that I find appealing.

WYR recognize an accent or a language?

A language. I kind of recognize most accent of my mother tongue.
WYR use txtspk or secret code language?

secret code! I think secret codes are awesome and have a cool history :D
Would you rather have a warm and rainy or cold, clear and windy climate?

Warn and rainy.
WYR be young or old.

Well, since I’m still young, I’d rather be young (for now anyway). Ask me in another 40–50 years and I might answer differently.

Would you rather have musical or athletic inclination?

Musical inclination. I just fucking hate sport!
WYR become a stone or a rock?

Rock. I think of a rock as being solid and sturdy, I think of a stone as something that gets in your shoe and is painful and a nuisance.
W Y R eat licorice or chocolate?

CHOCOLATE!
WYR die drowning in a pool of cocoa or die with your stomach exploding because it’s stuffed with too much chocolate?

Well, since having gastric bypass, I’m VERY familiar with the feeling of my stomach being quite literally full-to-bursting… it’s very painful. So I’ll say drowning in a pool of cocoa.

WYR to only be able to eat one item for the rest of your life OR to only drink one item for the rest of your life?

Drink one item.

WYR see the Northern lights or visit the pyramids in Egypt?

See the Northern Lights. Less danger of being abducted by terrorists.
Would you rather strangle a child to death with your bare hands, or exterminate the entire human species with the push of a button?

where’s the “neither” button?

@poofandmook Or the button to push to strangle anyone that would ask that shit.

grow some balls.

Okay, fuck you and the horse you rode in on troll! You’re not worth my time and you stop existing for me. You’re a nonentity. Be gone.
Sorry mods. This jerk pisses me off at times.

So… if I am to be diplomatic and answer WYR see the Northern Lights or visit Giza’s pyramids… I’ve seen the northern lights more recently. I don’t think it would be a good idea to go around visiting Egypt now though, so I’d rather see the Northern Lights for now (if I went to Finland to do this, I’d get to be around my relatives too, yay!).
Would you rather ride a horse or a manatee (assuming you had a snorkel or an oxygen tank or magical underwater breathing abilities)?

@28lorelei Very good.. Got us back on track. GA. I’d rather ride a horse. It’s much more physical. Although I love the ocean.
WYR swim in fresh water or seawater?

I’m good as long as the water is warm! Seriously though, I’m not good with cold water. In the case of warm water, I think I’d have to go for seawater (or at least running or moving water). Although, given a third option, hot springs can be lovely too- there’s a lovely one at Boiling River in Yellowstone. There’s also the sort of hot spring-derived Blue Lagoon in Iceland- lovely as well; but I digress.
Would you rather go hiking in the mountains or canoeing or kayaking in a lake (I guess sea kayaking would work too…)?

@28lorelei Both sound great right now. I guess the hike would be better, my s/o is scared of boats. I swim like a fish. Oh crap, I just want a hot springs now. That sounds so good.
WYR have a great meal at home or go to a great restaurant?

@Adirondackwannabe
It is a really simple choice between a lesser evil which you have to confront up close and personal, and a greater evil that you can deal with from a distance. A choice between choosing the lesser outcome, or choosing the lesser personal impact.
I am sooooo sorry that apparently you are incapable of confronting the hard questions.

Great restaurant, hands down!

WYR sit by an open fire, or a fireplace?

@ragingloli One last shot. I know you have a sweet side. Why do you always try to be an asshole? Because I don’t want to answer your bogus question I can’t answer the hard questions? You have no clue about my life.
@ibstubro The fireplace in the winter. That feels so good.
WYR have olives or anchovies on your pizza?

If one or the other, I’d take olives. Both would be nice though.

WYR experience a really cold, but breathtaking, snowy winter in the arctic or a really hot but extraordinary summer in the Amazon?

I’ve experienced 35 below F and 98 degrees F in the Summer. I loved both, but I would choose the 98 F Summer.
WYR Reuben or Rachel.

WHERR THR “BOTH” BUTTONS!
WYR love someone or be loved by someone?

@Adirondackwannabe, please calm down. You look scary when you get angry like that…

@Adirondackwannabe
It is not a bogus question.
It is a just a higher stakes variation of one of the most common questions relating to morality.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trolley_problem

You may have heard of this one before:
A group of people are trapped on a railway, and a train approaches.
You have a lever that can redirect the train, but doing so will cause the death of one single person trapped on the other railway.
Do you kill one person by flipping the switch, or do you kill many people by doing nothing?

The second part of that question makes it more personal. Similar scenario. Several people trapped on the railway, and the train approaches.
You can save them by dropping a very fat person onto the railway that will stop the train, but kill the person.
Do you personally push the guy off the bridge, or do you let the people down below die?

Are you incapable of answering the easier questions as well?

@ragingloli, please stop! It seems that @Adirondackwannabe doesn’t appreciate this kind of humor you are trying to convey. If your question had reached me I would have answered differently. But right now let bygon be bygone. I don’t want to see two people fighting in a friendly game thread!

@Mimishu1995 I’m okay. I’m usually okay, but when someone asks these stupid questions I get a little angry.

@Adirondackwannabe.

It doesn’t strike me as a bogus question. I saw it and concluded that as a mere mind game, I can not answer it without losing some of my humanity too.

I chose to ignore it. The question is actually quite valid and challenging. In line with Sophy’s choice.

Let’s conclude the question is not in line with the light spirited game we’re playing here.

Would you rather tickle a dragon or kiss a mermaid?

Tickle a dragon. I want to impress my Mafia boss!
WYR be Batman or Captain America.

Batman. The other is a propaganda character of the lowest order.
Would you rather have 1 fluffy kitten, or 2 fluffy kittens?

1. 2 are pretty tough to raise.
WYR run or dash?

If you don’t like a question, you can always just wait for someone else to answer it. Nobody is being forced to play.

Dash. I was never much for long-distance running.

Would you rather confess to a crime you didn’t commit to protect a family member or have a family member confess to a crime they didn’t commit to protect you?

The problem, @SavoirFaire, is that so many people wait for someone else to answer certain questions that the OP runs the risk of dying. I see the question on my list, I’m excited because I love the question, and there’s a string of GQ followed by GA ending in garbage. SIGH. I close and wait to see if someone else deals with it. Repeat.

I would not allow a family member to confess to my crime, but I might, maybe, under the right circumstances confess to a family member’s crime.

WYR spend a year in jail for your convictions or receive accolades for something you didn’t do?

Accolades for something I didn’t do. Mental anguish/guilt is nothing for me in comparison to living in filth and having no privacy to use the toilet :x

WYR your life be like Breaking Bad or like Game of Thrones?

Breaking Bad. As long as I was Walter White.

WYR eat McDonald’s or a piece of turd?

While I agree with your comparative denigration of McDump’s, I’d have no problem eating one of their less harmful meals just once.

WYR spend the rest of your life on top of Mt. Everest or at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, with adequate life support at either location?

Both would be fascinating. If I had the option of a light (or infrared vision) and the ability to survive at the bottom of Marianas without needing a submarine, I think I’d go there though- such amazing and odd life down there!
Given the option, would you rather travel to the beginning of the big bang or to another planet with sentient beings? (with adequate protection to survive, of course)

Another planet with sentient beings. I’d rather be able to help gather information about something we don’t know about than relive what we already have extensive knowledge on.

WYR have superpowers or great wealth?

Great wealth.

WYR go without internet or phone service?

Phone. You can communicate via the internet.

WYR be a genius and have everyone you meet dislike you, or would you rather be a simpleton and everyone you encounter likes you?

Simpleton, without a doubt. Happy.

WYR have peanut butter pie, cake, or cookies?

Peanut butter pie. There was an Italian restaurant where I used to have to work when I was on the road, and they made a peanut butter pie that was better than sex. And this was when I was in my early 20’s, so that gives you an idea.
WYR have chicken or goose?

Chicken.

WYR walk or swim 1000 miles?

Walk. A Man of Honour doesn’t risk drowning :(
WYR being thrown into a desert or the North Pole?

North Pole. I’ll wander up to Santa’s workshop, make some toys, and have fun with the elves. Then I’ll have some hot chocolate.
WYR feed a dog or a cat out of your hand?

Where’s the “both” button again?
WYR press the “both” button or “neither” button?

The both. I’m not big on cats, but I’m okay with them. My males dog very last meal was eaten out of my hand. He passed that night.
WYR get hit by 110 volts or a low volt electric fence?

Low volt electric fence. At least the feeling of infiltrating a place is better than the one of sitting on the electric chair, as a MAFIOSO!
WYR live in the 30s or the 50s?

The 30’s. I’ve always had affinity for pre-prohibition.

@ibstubro
what prohibition was following the thirties?

Especially with hind sight, I’d rather live in the fifties than in the years before the big war that devastated most of the modern world as we knew it.

If you had to leave for five years, would you rather have your partner fall in love with someone else, but stay faithful, or ‘cheat’ on you while still only loving you?

The former.
WYR shotgun or machine gun?

I’d rather machine gun.

WYR hear the truth that damages beyond repair or the lie that will keep you whole?

The lie. A Man of Honour don’t like a truth that kills.
WYR help someone a receive nothing in return or harm someone and receive a lot in return?

Help someone. I may not like people in general but I still try to help if I can.

WYR live in an elaborate tree house in the redwoods of California or live in an elaborate cave house in the mountains of Colorado?

Tree house.
WYR live underwater or in space.

Assuming there’s life support Underwater.

WYR live as a fugitive on the run or serve a life sentence?

Fugitive. I’d be great at it.

WYR live life as a quadriplegic or die.

I would rather live death.
WYR burn in hell forever, or be a slave forever in heaven?

I’d rather be a sex slave in my sexual fantasy heaven.

WYR have a loving relationship with your soul-mate SO but no other friends, or lots of great friends but never have anyone who loves you enough to have a committed relationship with you, for the rest of your life?

The former.
WYR eat shit or eat crap >:D

Eat shit, in the figurative sense.

WYR eat Chinese tonight or cook your own meal? If you decide to cook. What are you making?

Sorry, I already had salmon grilled on my new George Foreman Hamilton Beach. Tasty.

WYR have a cat or a rat for a pet?

Cook. I made carbonara.
Would you rather be a tree, or a tape worm?

Sorry, I already had salmon grilled on my new George Foreman Hamilton Beach. Tasty.

WYR have a cat or a rat for a pet?

Rat. Blackmailing will be muuuuuch easier with a rat :D
WYR be a chicken or a duck?

A duck… then I can fly…

WYR live exactly ten more days from now and know when you’ll die, or live exactly ten more days in oblivion of your coming end.