In a question, what is the line between "giving insight into the problem" and "dismissing the asker"?
This question may get modded. And I’m fully ready for that…
Imagine a scenario like this: a person asks a question online: “I have <some problem>. What should I do to overcome it?” They receive answers like: “You should <A, B, C>”. They then post: “But it’s impossible to <A, B, C> because <E, F, G>”. The answerers post: ”<E, F, G> isn’t a problem since <M, N, O>” or “if you can’t <A, B, C> then <S, R, T>” The asker then posts: ”<S, R, T> isn’t possible because < X, Y, Z>”. It goes on until one answerer gets annoyed and post: “So what do you want? A magical wish that will solve your problem in 1 millisecond?” The asker posts: “I don’t like your attitude. I want someone to give me an insight into the problem, not dismiss me like this! You don’t know me, you don’t know the place I live so please don’t act like a know-it-all! and tell me what to do!”
What do you think about this scenario? Is the answerer really dismissing the asker? What is the line between “giving insight into the problem” and “dismissing the asker”?
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9 Answers
There is never an excuse for rudeness. The answerer can say that he gave it his best shot and has run out of answers. He can even go so far as to say that the asker has framed the situation in such a way that there is no possible answer.
You can’t be rude. The answerer should just try their best to give an answer, that is all.
It’s beginning to sound like the asker is looking for sympathy rather than a solution. Not an uncommon situation. at some point it should be come obvious that that’s the situation and you can either provide sympathy or let it go.
On rudeness: It may be the case that the answerer is not intending to be rude, but the asker takes offense when there’s none to be taken and lashes out. Therefore, the answerer responds to that anger by being honest and telling the asker what needs to be said, not what they want to hear.
I’m going to be honest and, if you take offense to that, it’s not my problem. If you lash out at me, I’m going to respond accordingly. If you don’t want to get answers that you may not like, then don’t ask the question on the Internet. If there’s no real solution to the problem that you’re willing to accept, then there’s no point in asking it.
“Let me think about that and I’ll get back to you.”
Response moderated (Unhelpful)
I live by the creed of attack the post not the poster yet there inevitably will be questions that are so blind to their reality that I have to remind them to put on their big boy/girl pants and deal with their reality. More often than not I will simply bypass the obvious pleas for sympathy to their ridiculousness.
What I would say about that is redacted, however what I can say is that the answerer should just tell the asker they cannot help any better off the information they had and move on; even if he/she was annoyed with what seems like a line of excuses from the OP.
I am with @Jaxk here; it sounds less like a question than an invitation to a pity party.
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