How do I improve my conversational skills?

Take a class in Public Speaking at your local community college. It will do you a world of good.

My answer might sound a bit outdated. That is to be expected since I’m old enough to be your father.
Listen to the radio. Talk radio… NPR… Not all music, not R. Limburger or other haters who yell into the mic. NPR. Go to the library and look through the latest copy of the Economist. Look at the Science and Technology section.
Armed with some current events info, you can talk to most people.
Now work on your delivery. Stand up straight, push your shoulders back and smile.
Learn to ask and answer open ended questions.
The more people in the group, the more shallow the conversation should be. Deep, soul wrenching, conversations should be reserved for one-on-one settings.

Finally, remember to hold back a little. Never dump all your info. Like fine wine, it is best when served and consumed slowly.

Ask questions and then listen, intently, to the answers.

Just talk about stuff that is real to you. I can’t make conversation. It has to be stuff that I interested in. And it can be good or bad stuff. And the best of advice right there, listen, carefully.

Listen and observe then respond and comment on those things you observed about what they or others are saying and feeling. People love to have their ego stroked…make the conversation about them or topics of the day that interest you.

@Dan_Lyons I don’t know if I am that commited to it. Last time I stood up before a crowd and give a speech I could barely stand up, I never knew knees could actually knock. Funny though I tend to be vocal in group discussions unless I’m subordinate enough I’m expected just to listen.

@LuckyGuy hah I do listen to NPR, the only non sports related radio stationthat isn’t primarily full of lunacy and screaming rants, though speaking of lunacy I really get a kick out of coast to coast, most of the time. I do like those types of magazines but I don’t always get around to it. The problem occurs when no one knows about anything I mention… I do tend to avoid tv and celeb news..But no doubt if I was in a different society that advice would be valuable. But lol I do tend to be an over sharer.

@marinelife that has been my fall back. But then I often hear more then I want to if you know what I mean.

@Adirondackwannabe I’m right there or always have been. And I am beginning to get the feeling I don’t want to change from listening to my excuses. But this is brave a new world and I need to make what I apparently feel like are sacrifices to improve my odds with it.

@Cruiser I think this is where I feel the most comfortable working on… Baby steps, right? I know people like their ego stroked, but I have problems telling what I feel is a lie, even if its opinion based, I realize this is unrelenting and isolating. I also could improve my observational skills, and do less filling in the blanks and asking more questions. Take things slower, relax.

Thanks so much, collectively you helped me isolate my weaknesses.. and I was able to apply all your suggestions to one which I felt the most comfortable place to start.

@Unbroken That is where the skill comes into play as stroking ones ego does not have to be a lie. Just highlight the obvious. If someone is talking about their job, their kids or sports and you can’t stand all 3…just acknowledge their enthusiasm and pride in these things they talk about. You don’t have to say you agree which then would be lying….just give them a stroke.

I am an atheist but I can have a very interesting enlightening conversation with most religious and liberal people because I acknowledge their belief structure even though it is miles from my core belief system and none of it has to be based upon patronizing or lies.

I understand. Normally I am good at that. But lately I have been failing at most coming up with something lame after considering it longer then I should.

My friend said I seemed more depressed now then he has ever seen me. I don’t think I am depressed maybe worried and worn down. More involved in my private concerns then others.

@Unbroken Now you are in a much different situation. Being worried or depressed can easily trump ones desire to be social. Now this is where lying may be an asset. I ask my mom how she is doing and her every reply is “GREAT!” and one time I asked her how on earth can she always be great. Her reply was “I am not always great but when I say “I am great” it more often makes me feel great!

Positive affirmations, being mindful and the Law of attraction are very powerful tools for changing how you feel and see the world around you. Think positive thoughts and you just may have a lot more to talk about.

@Unbroken Back in the stone age – when I watched TV – there were only a couple of channels and everyone watched them at the same time. When we got to school we could talk about a show and most of us would know about it. Now there are so many media channels and choices it is hard to find someone simultaneously consuming the same media unless you are on a live Twitter feed.
I’m willing to bet you could meet a jellie in a coffee shop and you would not have any trouble having a conversation. Why? The shared experience.
What media could you consume that would help you with conversation? I already mentioned NPR, and The Economist, (makes me sound like a old man) I would add: a few shows of Cosmos, Jimmie Fallon. and… Funny or Die’s First Dates with Toby Harris . See why he has no second dates.
You can watch a few short episodes of the latter with just the right mix of empathy and schadenfreude and have fun talking about it with others.
Now sit up straight and smile. ;-)
ke…