I’ve mentioned this before, but when I was young I lost a lot of weight (well over 100lbs) and I have kept it off for more than 10 years, so diet and exercise are two things that are pretty constant in my life, although I do not look like the stereotypical health nut that most people would probably picture to always be counting calories and nutrition and to consistently stick to a work out for years. I think I’m about 30lbs overweight by most charts, I always forget what takes into account my frame and what doesn’t. I am both tall and large framed for a woman and also quite busty, so I tend to factor all of that into the equation, personally. My doctor is never concerned about my weight, so neither am I.
I used to be. I used to be obsessed, but I hear that’s pretty common when someone has managed a major weight loss, apparently it’s the “best” way to maintain, since something like only 5 or 6% of people will succeed at keeping a significant loss off long term. The statistics are dismal, I know that much. Personally, I feel that if I were thinner, I would have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. My body dysmorphia and obsession with food and exercise was destroying my life, but I got nothing but praise for succeeding, there was never anything to worry about because I was still fat enough for people to justify starving myself.
About two years ago I decided I wasn’t going to lose any more weight and that I wasn’t afraid to gain weight, either. I took up weightlifting and I braced myself to put on some pounds in the process of adding muscle (which didn’t happen, but the mental and emotional experience was significant.) I ended up losing about 15lbs, but my body has changed tremendously. I was always a cardio junkie, I liked running, even when I was in the depths of devastating depression I would badger myself into working out. I never lost any weight, in fact I found it impossible not to gain weight, but I was so terrified of gaining back my “big” loss that stopping was never an option.
Switching from cardio to lifting has had a tremendous impact on my body. I still haven’t lost anything more than the initial 15lbs, but I also no longer give a shit. I feel good. When I was dieting and restricting my food and relying on “fat burning” exercises and “calorie incinerating” whatever, I was exhausted. I was depressed. I looked and felt deflated. Now my legs are dense and chiseled, my female friends and family members regularly express that they are jealous of my biceps, my body is sturdy and filled out and more proportionate. I eat food and I feel no remorse. I feel strong and I look forward to getting stronger.
This past week a friend and I were comparing work outs. She weighs about 10lbs less than me, but my waist is 8” smaller than hers. And not by any blessing of genetics, both of us are women who tend to carry our weight in the upper body and around the middle and both large breasted, more apples than pears (though I think I am more “inverted triangle,” I think I carry it all in my chest and face, not so much that I get that round look in the middle), so it makes me feel even more like BMI is such a crock. Of course they always say it doesn’t count for bodybuilders or athletes, but I am neither of those things and you can’t tell me that an 8” smaller waist is insignificant. I also have been having health issues, which contributed to me having a pregnant looking and large protruding stomach, so the difference may still be even more significant yet. My friend runs 4 times a week, I lift 4 times a week. But I can still easily take my dog for a 6 mile walk with less effort than it took me when I was dedicated to cardio. Not that I think cardio or running are bad by any means, I just think that our culture needs to back off of the diet and weight loss wagon and reevaluate different approaches to fitness and what that means.
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