Are your parents still together?

Mine are not. They got divorced when I was very young. My mother has been remarried for over 30 years.

No. They were together all my childhood, though I was a teen when I first noticed real signs of trouble.

Yes. Of course.

I don’t know for how long. May be about 20 years now.

There are conflicts, but everything get resolved in the end. I’m glad they manage such a long relationship. It helps us a lot.

Mine were never married. They split up when I was 3 and my mom married my step-father when I was 4. He’s the only dad I’ve ever known. Their marriage of 20 years is nothing I’d want for myself, though. At this point, they don’t even like each other.

Maybe somewhere?

Nope. They split up when I was a teenager. It was a good thing. They faught a lot. Their relationship taught me a lot about what I didn’t want for my own relationships.

Mine are together. Next year will be 50 years. When I was little I used to wish they would get divorced.

I’ve been married 21 years and I love my husband and I still think he is beautiful and I still learn new things about him and he still impresses me all the time. He is my favorite person to spend time with. Having a long relationship is very special in my opinion. However, things change, people change, and sometimes even after many years relationships break apart. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

My grandparents were married 65 years, my parents are going on 41, I just past 5 years with my wife.

No

I forgot to add that yes I think if your parents stayed together it can help your own relationship stay together, because I think there is a “model” of staying together in your family. Not that I think a couple should stay together for the sole reason of modeling that for their children. When I was little I thought all married couples over 35 disliked each other.

Until death did them part. They were together 46 years until my mom’s death in 1994.

Having been divorced once and remarried, I can’t say that I used that as a model.

My parents were together until my father died. That was 31 years. My husband and I are chugging toward 31 years this August.

@JLeslie You wished for your parents to get divorced? Why?

@longgone Both my sister and I did. Actually, I would say my sister probably still wishes for it. My parents fought all the time. It was not a very good situation. As a child I felt like my father was very demanding and unfair to my mother. It felt horrible as a kid to watch that. As an adult I view the whole thing a little differently, but my sister and I as youngsters just wanted some calm in the house and for my mom not to have to work so hard. I didn’t know couples could be calm and happy.

I wished my parents would have divorced. My mom slept on the living room couch for 10 years, and there were days at a time of silent treatments followed by heated arguments, then more silence. We never sat as a family for dinner unless it was Christmas. I can think of three family vacations. They lasted about 4 days each.

My dad left my mom while she was in the IC following surgery for a brain aneurysm. He immediately began dating the anesthesiologist, who was supposedly one of my mom’s best friends. He would kill me if he knew I shared our family history, but that’s how it was. When my sister and I expressed anger about how that went down he stopped talking to us for over a year. There’s a little hole in my heart where I stash how I feel about those years.

They both remarried and got it right the second time around. They are both much better, happier individuals. It makes me sad that it took them so long to find who they were meant for and we all wasted those years in misery. But at least they have happiness as they wind down. I do feel they are both genuinely happy now.

@JLeslie I see…I’m sorry. I bet it’s hard even now.

Nope, divorced when I was 14,it really hit my brother and I hard, but as an adult I can see how worlds apart my parents were ,my mother was with her common law husband for almost twentyfive years when when a illness took him and that was six plus years ago she doesn’t have plans for getting back in the game any time soon.
My dad lost his wife to cancer about 8 years ago and remarried 2 years later and is with her to this day.

They’ve been together for almost 25 years, raising two kids at almost two different times. but I don’t think they have a healthy relationship. My mom commands my dad around and basically makes all the decisions for him. They yell and argue a lot, and it’s usually because of something my dad did that my mom didn’t like, like come home late, clean the wrong part of the house, or for other stupid reasons. They can’t even keep it together in public settings. As a matter of fact, I stopped doing anything with them because all they would do was argue about petty things in the most immature way. You should’ve seen how our “vacation” time went.
Sometimes I wonder what their lives would be like if they were divorced. It seems like my dad has no freedom. When asked, he just shrugs and doesn’t really respond. It’s against their religion/culture to divorce.

57 years, until my fathers death.

Yup, my folks were together for forty years until my father died in 2008. By my standards, they did not have a good marriage. My mother was vicious, manipulative, and controlling and my father could be a selfish weenie… but there was obviously something there to make it last. They certainly loved each other.

My wife and I have been together for 26 years, married for 18. I do think my parents relationship taught me about commitment, through thick and thin. I’m not one to give up on my relationship.

I joke that I would never divorce my wife… just simply bury her in the backyard.

Seriously though, I truly hope to grow old with her.

Mine were until my dad died, after 60+ years of marriage.

@longgone Not for me. Now I realize as an adult the relationship two people have is their own, their own choice. My parents still fight (never physical, it’s just raised voices) but they also raised two children together, travel around the world inntheir retirement, have some interests that are similar, and I guess that is ok with them.

My parents were together for nearly 35 years when my Dad passed away.
My Mom never remarried, or dated again for that matter. She died when she was 72, so I guess you could say my parents are still together again.

Mine are and have been for over 40 years. I am a single parent and have had troubled relationships all my life (up to a a few years ago). I don’t think there is a correlation between the two, so many other factors involved in making lasting relationships x

My parents got married in 1948, so that makes 66 years – wow. Both still alive and still happy.

As for your other question, do I think it would help me to have a long lasting relationship – help me in what way? If you are asking me if that would be rewarding, then my answer is yes.

I have been divorced twice, and if I had to stay with one of those long term, I would be a beat down and worn out mess. However, Mr. #3 was great – we raised our collective brood of 7 and was just settling down to having more time together and planning retirement when he up and died. Bummer. But I am so scared of getting into a bad relationship again that I won’t take the chance again. I guess it’s luck of the draw, whether you are with someone that you like enough to have a long term relationship with.

Yes and they will be till death parts them, perhaps even beyond that!

Both my parents died relatively young. They are together in the cemetery.

No. And according to the Catholic church they never were married, in spit of the fact that they got married, stayed married for 20 years, and had 3 kids.

They were together for 18 years. They had four beautiful children… And my brother.

No, they split up when I was 11 years old after being together for about 17 years. Dad has never remarried, mum has been remarried now for about 6 years.

Well my dad remarried after my mother died, if she hadn’t died I guess they would still be together. I loved and miss my mother like crazy but I also absolutely love my dad’s new wife and her influence on my life has been amazing (I wouldn’t have met my girlfriend if my dad had never met my step mum)

It’s an interesting (but uncomfortable) little thought there.

One is buried in a casket and probably not much left and the other was cremated. I think my brother is going bury my mother’s ashes next to my father so I guess in some weird way they’ll be together.

Yes. They were both cremated and sprinkled next to each other.

Our parents were happily married for 45 years until Dad died. They set a great example for what a solid marriage should be like. Maybe too good. Two siblings divorced after 25 and 23 years in relationships that turned sour for various reasons, and they fought tooth and nail to save it when there wasn’t any more hope. A third sibling has been married for 37 years. It has been a challenging relationship, but they appear to have weathered the storm and found their own way to be happy together.

My partner’s immediate family history is about the same. His parents are still happily married; two divorced siblings; and one that is a bit complicated, but still together. Once we marry, it will be the first time for both of us.

Here is what I have learned: Life is messy. No one, unless they have an ulterior motive, enters into a marriage thinking that it might end. Every relationship is different. If you have parents that had an ideal marriage, it may be a mirage. It’s a matter of choosing a partner carefully and expecting hiccups along the way. Most importantly, respect, trust and communication are the key factors in a successful relationship. If you don’t have those, it doesn’t matter how solid your parents’ marriage appeared.

My parents divorced when I was 2.

My mother died 3 weeks after their 45th wedding anniversary.