Speedos. Why do people dislike them?

Board shorts. Speedos leave nothing to the imagination.

Two reasons:

1. A man only looks good in them if he is in great shape, no gut at all, flat stomach, well shaped ass.

2. It is the nature of a Speedo to essentially have all of a man’s junk on display, and most American’s are not comfortable with that. Especially when it is on display on a man that is otherwise not fit.

Because they look like the wearer is smuggling budgies & we can’t have birds in the water, now can we?

Smuggling budgies, ha!

Men simply aren’t that good looking. I think Elaine (from the old Sienfeld show) said it best, “women’s bodies are a work of art, Men’s bodies are more utilitarian, like a jeep.” That’s why women are more appealing the more they show and men are less appealing the more they show.

If someone feels comfortable in their own body, then I don’t care what they wear. I, personally, prefer to wear board shorts; they’re practically uniform in California, anyway.

Can you clarify why board shorts might be frowned upon in some places in Europe?

@muppetish I have read in many British blogs how people dislike board shorts and how they look silly.

They are soooo tacky.

I never heard they were frowned upon by the public. Speedos are the suit of choice for swimmers who want to swim and best part is they dry out quickly. For me the worst part of board shorts is that scratchy mesh they line the crotch area.

To me, they just sort of look… painful.

Obviously, it’s not my job to police the comfort of others, but I admit I simply don’t see the appeal. But then, they probably wouldn’t wear my corsets. Or maybe they would.

What gets me are thongs. Seriously, if you’re that opposed to tan lines, go to the nudist resort. There are about ten of them within 30 miles. No one wants to see your ass floss.

Yep, in America, short of competitive swimmers Speedos are associated a lot of the time with old pervey men with giant guts parading around in a delusional state of thinking they are somehow still sexy. lol
Old men in speedos are just plain disgusting! There is an old guy that walks my hiking trail in speedos and he is the joke of all us women, ” Oh oh, here comes pervy speedo guy, look away.” haha

Unless you are in perfect condition, @CWMcCall, people will be laughing behind your back if you wear one. Even if you ARE in perfect condition people will assume you just want to show off your junk, and they will be laughing.

Competitive swimmers are the only ones who can get away with it with no derision. Speedos reduce the drag in the water.

@Dutchess_III I find it a shame that people are that shallow feel the need to control what others think, do or wear based upon their own insecurities and off the charts BMI.

Not trying to control you. Just giving you a heads up. Do what you want to do.

@Dutchess_III Heads up to what? That there is a swim suit police brigade I need to be aware of? Ed Snowden didn’t mention a thing of this.

OK.

@CWMcCall My feelings have nothing to do with the things you mention, I just do not find speedos attractive on most guys. They were super popular in the 70’s and I didn’t like them then either. Their are no rules with the laws of attraction. haha

If you’re old, fat hairy, or disgusting, is a banana hammock going to make you a stud?

Even if they ARE studs that kind of display does not appeal to me the way it would appeal to a man.

What makes you think it would appeal to a man?

I do find it hot when certain men where them, but they are too revealing and skimpy for me. I’m not a slut…

“Also, many men won’t wear them because they think only homosexuals wear them.”

That is a new one for me. Just chalk it up to a cultural difference and our love of fried foods.

I mean, many men find those kinds of blatant displays on women attractive. I wonder if the guys who wear speedos think that women find that same kind of display on a man attractive. If they think so, they don’t know women very well. I mean, there is a reason that 99.9% of strip joints are of women doing the stripping. Women just don’t have that same reaction.

Speedos are more popular among Europeans. For some reason they aren’t as popular on American beaches. I personally go with Hawaiian baggies. The closest things I ever wore to Speedos were bike shorts. I even worn them to group yoga. They are very comfortable, but I’m not sure I like clothing so revealing that complete strangers can plainly see I’m a Gentile.

After some research (Google Image searching “Sexy Speedo”) I’ve decided that I much prefer the tiny shorts to the barely contained banana

This one is kind of hot, too. I think it’s the higher waist thing. I don’t want to see pubic hair stubble, know what I mean?

I like the loose shorts / swim wear. IMO it just makes a man look sensible and strong, ready for what ever comes his way, not silly and showey.

Slightly off-topic: I want about 400 of this swimsuit in every imaginable colour.

I’m American and I don’t find Speedos attractive. It doesn’t matter if the man has the perfect body for my taste, I still din’t like a Speedo. My husband has some swim shorts that are rather snug and quite short that I like fine that would be the minimum I guess. Mostly he wears regular “American” swim shorts, and that is what I prefer on men. I don’t like when women wear bikinis that are too skimy either. It the bottoms are too low, barely covering their girly parts or the triangle top has boob hanging out to much. Forget thongs, neither gender should be wearing them.

I think most swimmers now wear the suits that cover their body more. In the Olympics they do.

As a side note, the last man I saw in a Speedo was several years ago at my house. I was having a pool party and my Scottish gay BIL had them on.

My ex started wearing Speedos at his apartment pool after we split up. He’s was a very insecure person who had a need to brag on himself often.

@Dutchess_III Hahaha, hilarious!
My ex just did the typical mid-life crisis shit and bought a hot sports car and drove around with his arm hanging out with that ” Joe cool” look. lol

I wish board shorts for women were more of a thing. A pair of shorts and a tankini top would be my perfect swimsuit. It’s fine… I guess, to find them in the men’s department, but like 99% of them come in bro-tastic patterns and there’s that weird mesh inside.

If I want to cover up more, it’s perfectly rational that some guys want to show off more. They look kind of ridiculous, but there’s this ballsy attitude of “fuck it. I do what I want” about a guy in a speedo, and I have to respect that kind of bravado. Dudes, if you want to make speedos an everyday thing, be the change you want to see.

It’s redonkerous!

‘Cmon let’s face it. A Speedo makes male equipment way more aquadynamic and you swim way faster. That is why they were created. Speedo’s were not made to parade your junk in the trunk up and down the boardwalk like I feel so many here object to. Let’s just ban wearing Speedo’s outside of a 100 foot limit of a pool or body of water. Will that make everyone happy?

@CWMcCall Your argument works if the guy wearing the Speedo is swimming laps. Although, seriously, at the beach, rarely are people swimming laps. At the pool, it depends on the pool, but I have never been to a pool where the swim team isn’t practicing that a lap swimmer can practice going top speed. Even with lap lanes, some of us slower swimmers are in their too and they can’t be doing their very fast swim. They can wear a tight short that isn’t a Speedo style similar to bicycle shorts and it is sufficient. I’ve seen them in various lengths. I swim laps and sometimes I have on a suit that creates drag, like a suit that has extra molding to covers my breasts, the cushion holds water, it isn’t that big a deal.

Saying all that, it isn’t like anyone is trying to ban Speedos. I don’t know, maybe some places do?

I’m pretty sure our local water park has banned them. It’s been a while since I’ve been there (like, years), but I seem to remember “no speedo” type signs. But seriously, who wants to wear those things on a water slide? Ouch.

@Seek I wish I could remember if I ever saw a Speedo at my gym in TN. They had swim team there. Both practice and competitions. That gym didn’t allow members to show their stomach. Even in the pool I never saw a girl in a bikini. Men were topless though in the pool. I wonder if men and boys were allowed to wear Speedos? It doesn’t surprise me a water park might ban them. Although, my husband tore his swim shorts on a water slide. A speedo probably would have less chance of tearing. Why do you say ouch? Do you think men have their sensitive parts less protected in a speedo? Less fabric layers I guess.

As I said @CWMcCall, if the guy is a competitive swimmer IN a competition, or in practice (which isn’t a public kind of deal,) no one would think twice. But an average guy wearing a Speedo while just hanging out at the beach or at a pool party looks like a exhibitionist fool.
Everybody is free to wear pretty much what they want to. Ever see the people of Walmart? If you think you look swell in a Speedo, go for it.

@Seek No kidding? My god, I didn’t think this was such serious matter.

Well, yeah, @Seek. I mean, the bikinis women wear (and some look really good in) have less coverage than a Speedo and they go down the slides just fine. If it was a dry slide, though, it would be a different story. (Anybody remember getting stuck on a playground slide? Remember getting burned?!)

(Couldn’t resist. Asked a general opinion on Speedos on my FB page. Report to follow.)

And the results are trickling in…

“Bedroom only attire!”

@Dutchess_III I have to ask you then how is a form fitting Speedo and more offensive than a 2 piece bikini? Both look great on people who have the bods to make them look good, but go to any public pool and there are far more women in bikinis who IMHO should not be seen in the day of light in them more so than a dude in a Speedo who has man boobs.

Who are these swim suit Police and who is affording anyone the right to gudge? If you see and offending Speedo or bikini, just look the other way.

Men like bikinis. Men like woman to exhibit themselves. Women are encouraged to wear them. Unfortunately, some women wear them who shouldn’t.
Women don’t care for that shit. Why do you think the Swim Suit Edition of Sports Illustrated only features scantily clad women, not scantily clad men? Why do strip bars feature naked women, and very, very rarely men? How famous is Playboy magazine compared to Playgirl magazine (which they may not even print anymore)? That’s why.

But, as I said, if you think you look sexy in one, go for it. Just thought you might like to know that the vast majority of women don’t find it attractive.

Next FB response, also from a female: “banana hammocks.”

@Dutchess_III You mean CFNM isn’t real? Oh no, life is suddenly not worth living. Goodbye cruel world…

@CWMcCall Woman have their breasts on display all the time, men don’t have their peni, penises?? on display commonly. I don’t think we are used to seeing it, and also I think we not only are conditioned to appreciate a woman’s body (some might says that is a bad thing that women are turned into objects) but I also believe men and women instinctively appreciate the female form. I really don’t consider a man’s dick to be beautiful even when the man has a beautiful body. Also, even in a bathing suit, woman have their nipples usually well concealed and our vaginas are concealed to begin with. Men actually have their sexual organ on the outside, it’s different in my opinion. Most Americans are a little skiddish about women being topless (monokini) at the pool or beach, which would be similar I guess.

What she said. Exactly. The things I find attractive about a man have nothing to do with their dicks. A dick is a dick is a dick. They all do the same thing.

What I like in a man are muscular arms and forearms, and a muscular chest. (But NOT in the Mr. Universe style, which is gross.)

Other FB comments:

hilarious! !!

If you are a competitive swimmer or Daniel Craig as James Bond, it’s allowed. If you are a regular human, No!!

(It’s interesting that so far it’s only woman who have responded….)

@JLeslie the correct term is penes :P

@Espiritus_Corvus Pretty bad that I didn’t have to google that acronym :P

@JLeslie I can think of a few intentional womanly displays of bodily areas that I for one could go the day without being exposed to, camel toes and muffin tops. Plus when a man climbs the ladder out of a pool, if you are wearing a Speedo or blue jeans, you get a full outline of what he is packing. This is IMO a silly debate.

@CWMcCall The muffin top is a separate debate in my opinion, and both men and women can have that. I do realize some jellies above talked about men wearing speedos and not having the body for it, but that is not really my argument. Even if. Man is thin and sexy, I am not keen on the speedo style. It’s too feminine I think more than anything. I just am not used to seeing a man with a bathing suit or underwear that traces the top of their thigh similar to girl underwear. It’s not just the fabric and the private parts being more visible (I go to the ballet, so I definitely see men with their boy parts sort of on display, although not quite the same) but it is the actual style of the suit. The same fabric with even just a short length leg, just a few inches on the thigh, is sexier to me. But, men don’t have to dress to please me, so they can wear whatever they want. I don’t like really muscle-y men, but plenty of them are topless on the beach.

@CWMcCall Tell ya what, why don’t you post a picture of yourself in a speedo and let the collective take a gander at what you have to pander. lololol
It’s time for some action, Jackson. SHOW us WHY we should be speedo friendly. haha

Superman and Batman can get away with it. No, wait…let me rephrase that: ONLY Superman and Batman can get away with it. (fb post)

I second @Coloma! Pictures!

@CWMcCall Just because some women dress in a tacky way that is not at all attractive is no excuse for you to do the same. Consider this..THEY think they are attractive and sexy. People can be blind.

A dick, is a dick, is a dick,.....LMAO!
Yep, if you’ve seen one dick you’ve pretty much seen them all, the only variations are purple dicks vs. angey red dicks. Dicks of many colors, but still dicks. hahaha

I’ve told this story before, but one time my mom was visiting. She was, like 70 at the time. My boyfriend and I had rented “On Any Given Sunday.” Football film. Suddenly, to our horror and shock (because my mom was there!) the was a few seconds of full frontal shot of a buck naked black man in the locker room. His dick almost hung to his knees! Jerry and I started apologizing, falling all over ourselves apologizing to my mom. She looked at us curiously, completely unfazed and said, “That? Once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all.” We about fell over!
Dicks are not sexy, BTW. ;) And we woman could care less about the size. That size thing is a guy thing.

@Dutchess_III I was just recalling a scene from the movie The Quill. It was about the Marquis de Sade starring Geoffrey Rush. There was one scene in which he was completely nude. His ball sack hung down to between his knees and his huge flacid wiener was jiggling while he was making some kind of impassioned soliloquy or speech. I had to turn away. The idea of that junk being slung up in a speedo makes me cringe.

^ That was a fantastic movie. I have no lasting recollection of flopping danglybits.

@Seek How could you have missed the giggling wiener scene???

@Dutchess_III lol I would never fathom to dress accordingly to the tacky and clueless. And I agree that the only logical explanation for such displays of dress is because they do not own a full length mirror.

If this question wasn’t asked already, I was going to ask it, after being at a pool yesterday and seeing a guy in one. He had a flat stomach, and a long beard, and a Speedo. My daughter was with her two little friends (7 years old) and the friends (thankfully, not my daughter) started laughing and pointing and asking their mom “Why does that man have underpants on?” She and I were saying how it’s almost inappropriate, at a family pool, for a man to wear that, where the junk is tightly packed and clearly outlined.

Just my opinion.

@CWMcCall The point I’m making is that people see what they want to see. Those people don’t KNOW they’re being tacky. They think they look good, like guys in Speedos think they look good.

@Kardamom That vision of the giggling wiener is stuck in my head. I’m gonna have nightmares tonight! Was it supposed to be a comedic scene?

@Dutchess_III No, it wasn’t a comic scene. The Maquis was locked up and at some point, I think he was in solitary confinement and they took away his clothes and he was in this little dark dungeon with a cold hard floor and he stood up and went on some rant. His danglies were jiggling while he was ranting and it wasn’t pretty.

Here is a tame picture from that scene.

I could not act with no clothes on.

They took away his clothes because he wouldn’t stop writing porn on every available surface, including his clothes.

….? Are you serious??? I have the feeling the answer is, “No I’m not serious you idiot!” so I’m feeling silly even asking!

Yes. I’m serious. From Wiki

He is best known for his erotic works, which combined philosophical discourse with pornography, depicting sexual fantasies with an emphasis on violence, criminality and blasphemy against the Catholic Church. He was a proponent of extreme freedom, unrestrained by morality, religion or law. The words sadism and sadist are derived from his name.

The film depicted his years spent in an insane asylum, and showed him sneaking out his writings with the help of the washing-women and the like. When his works were published they took away his paper, so he started writing on bedsheets, then his clothes, and anything else he could get his hands on. It was a really enjoyable film.

Wow. Just…wow!

Did he wear a speedo before they took away all of his clothes?

^^ Ha!

Just trying to keep the question on topic! :D

Someone’s upped the ante on the Speedo market.

Please don’t click on this if your eyes are easily offended

Oh. My. God.

Hey, it was posted on my Facebook timeline with NO warning, thank you very much.

Oh man….only 9.90 too, I think I’ll get 4. LOL.

Ya know, when someone writes “this may offend” or “some may find disturbing” I have this irrasistiable urge to click that link. Fucking curiosity.

I looked. It wasn’t so bad. However, knowing some folks the way I do, if they added that kind of disclaimer, I wouldn’t get near it with a 10 ft pole!

Why do I do this to myself?

Ante upped again

Shit @Seek! QUIT!!!!

Oooooh Emmmm Geeee!

@Seek Even better, for the same price of the others I could get 12 of these :P

Just don’t forget to clench.

This thread has jumped the Shark.

Didn’t someone mention peacocks earlier?

^^^^ LOL….I like that. Cock o’ the walk, strut that bird. haha

That peacock kind of reminds me of the 90’s

@Kardamom Haha..I love those guys.

While in a certain county in Oklahoma there were signs up for a person running for some government office. The signs read “Brenda Cockburn for Whatevercounty assessor.”