Why do guys get all the best clothes?

I don’t understand what you mean. I see women wearing the baggies all the time now.
Sure, most of them are tattooed to the max stone cold lesbians, but hey, there’s nothing wrong with that!

Well, they didn’t have ‘em at Walmart, and they didn’t have them in the ladies section at Goodwill.

Because woman are supposed to look sexy and be scantly clad~

@Dutchess_III What’s to stop you from purchasing a mans pair and wearing them? My fiance wears gym shorts over her bathing suit bottoms pretty often, you could do that as well.

Because women have all the pussy and half the money.

I know. I know. I can’t help it sometimes.

@Blondesjon Here, the expression is “women are sitting on a goldmine.”

I did just that, @El_Cadejo, at Goodwill. They had a much better selection there. Just need to find a shirt of some kind to go with it.

@filmfann . . . Much more tasteful than mine.

Why not just.. buy a men’s swimsuit?

Ah, well. We get more variety, and we’re “allowed” to wear men’s clothes, too. A guy wearing a ladies’ bikini is not treated kindly, for the most part.

I DID! But I’d prefer something that didn’t look so obviously masculine. I found something that would work at Goodwill. Just need a shirt to go with it. If they made them for women they’d have shirt selections available.

I also found a very cute pair of purple ones, but they were too small. These actually LOOK more like women’s wear than men’s. I went a head and bought them thinking I could work on them a little, get them to fit.

I, personally, go for vintage swimsuits. They still look feminine, but hide the multitude of sins committed on my figure by childbearing.

Trust me…..it gets much worse as time goes on. :(

I just wish they had swimsuits for women that focus on comfort instead of sexy. Like ones that have peacocks on them, or whatever, that most men wouldn’t wear.

“Why do guys get all the best clothes?”

Cuz they swipe’em from their girly friends closets?

We have a saying in my business (fashion photographer)...

…“Dress so good they think you’re gay”.

It’s out there, it’s just not common. (I swim in a shirt and shorts now because my skin just can’t take the sun anymore, especially my last few trips to the tropics.)

Your first mistake was looking at Walmart for swimwear. They certainly do make board shorts for women. Or you could go the old lady route and wear a swim dress.

I personally opt for a regular strapless bikini – no weird tan lines, and I’m all about getting my tan on.

There isn’t any other place in town that sells swim wear.
I used to rock a bikini too.

@syz All those pics in your link look like racing suits. I want something FUN!

You don’t have a mall near you?

How about board shorts and a tankini top like this?

The nearest mall is an hour away. I don’t DO malls, anyway. I went into one for the first time in probably 15 years and it stressed me out just walking in.

Hang on. I’ll go look at your link.

Well, it I was 20 and had a body like that I wouldn’t be having this problem!
<————That kid is my 9th grandkid!

I do like the second one, but too tight. The appeal of the menswear is that it’s loose and long.

@Dutchess_III Are you saying a tankini top is too revealing? You don’t have to look like that model to wear a tankini top.

I wouldn’t even be thinking about getting in the pool except for I might have a chance to swim with three of my grandkids. I won’t miss that for the world.

Ok, brutally frank here….my skin isn’t soft and smooth any more. I was in the dressing room at the Goodwill and I was like, “OMG. That happened to my neck?” (I HATE those freakin lights in those rooms.) Well, when I looked closer it was just my shirt line, so it was obviously sun damage. It wasn’t a pretty tan, either. I have no desire to show that off.
You’ll just have to get there, @livelaughlove21, to find out all the shit that goes to hell. :( And I used to be SO HAWT! I just have to sooth myself with that, the fact I was a “10” for many, many years.

Yes, I think something fun in a turtleneck and with feet should work!

Maybe you can find a muslim owned shop. You might find something there.

That WOULD work, Raggy!

Sadly, I wasted all my hot-body years being Pentecostal, which meant I swam in a floor-length skirt and a flannel shirt, lest one glimpse an inch of my skin.

So just bring more attention to yourself by getting into a pool wearing baggy shorts and a big t-shirt. Like I said, you don’t have to look like a swimsuit model to wear a swimsuit. Plenty of women of a certain age wear real swimsuits. I don’t have to “get there” to know what it’s like to not be happy with your body, or to know what an older woman’s body looks like. I just don’t think hiding it under baggy clothes is going to take attention off of you. Quite the opposite, and you’ll sweat like crazy.

I need to do what I’m comfortable with. I don’t care if I draw attention to myself. I’d rather they think I was a bit odd, rather than “OMG! Did she not look in the mirror before she came out here?” I will not be one of those people.

So why would it be strange for a woman to wear shorts into a pool, but not a man?

@Seek I’ve seen pics of you…I have a feeling you’re hotter than you think!

Everyone suggesting she buy the men’s shorts, just remember woman often have hips. Our shape is different than men. Some women have slim hips. When I was younger I could easily wear men’s jeans and even had a pair of tight fitting swim shorts that were men’s. Kind of a “boy short” look, before there were so many options in women’s swimwear.

@Dutchess_III There are more options than you probably realize. I wear swim shirts often, so I don’t have to worry about getting a burn, and it also helps if the water is cold. When I was younger there was nothing like the selection today for swim shirts. I know North Face and Jag at least used to make swim shorts, I assume they still do. Did you google swim shorts for women or something similar?

Surfing attire might be a good search term .

Oh, look: http://www.hansensurf.com/womens-surf-clothing/womens-boardshorts-trunks.html

FINALLY. I found the word for it:

Rashguard.

That’s the name for a t-shirt or baseball-shirt looking thing made out of bathing suit material.

http://www.killerdana.com/ActionSports_Women_Rashguards

No, I didn’t google. Leaving tomorrow for a 3 day family reunion so that’s what I needed them for. I got stuck in Walmart, wandering around while they changed the oil in my car & decided to see what they had.

And you are so right…..women are shaped very differently than men. If someone put their mind to it, they could come up with something flattering for woman with less than perfect bodies. I guess that’s stretching some brains too far, though.

Very cute stuff @Seek! But again they’re skin tight and made for young women. I’ll figure something out. We may not even GO swimming.

I wear rash guards, although they tend to be tight fitting. There are some that are loose fitting, I’m not sure if they are still called rashguarde then? Some even zip up the front so they are easy to get in and out of. When I used to take water aerobics a lot of the older people had zip front swim shirts that were not very tight.

If I were you I’d get a guy’s small boxer type suit and a tankini top. As long as your comfortable that’s the main thing.

Thank you. I’ll figure something out. This was really screaming last minute. Need to put more time and thought into it next time! And I did find a couple pair of men’s boxer type shorts that could pass for womans. The one’s I like the best are even purple and white…but they’re too small.

They don’t have em in medium?

Oh…this was at Goodwill @Adirondackwannabe.

@Dutchess_III I definitely agree that you should feel comfortable. I’d personally feel more uncomfortable all covered up, as I don’t like the attention, but maybe that’s just me. All I’m saying is that there will be women WAY less attractive in WAY more revealing clothes at the pool and I doubt anyone would ever wonder if you looked in the mirror before you left the house. I do know how it feels to be uncomfortable in a swimsuit – hell, I’m still not fully comfortable in one – but I believe in faking confidence until it becomes reality. People, including me, think that others are way more interested in their flaws than they actually are. Those people are there to swim and have fun, not to scope out who has the worst stretch marks.

Good luck finding a swimsuit you feel comfortable in. :)

(I don’t have any stretch marks. Dodged that bullet for some reason!)

It’s just frustrating. It’s like, how would guys like it if the only choices they had were various kinds of Speedos? That’s kind of what it’s like. The only choice is HOW sexy the swim suit/whatever is, and they’re all way sexier than I’m comfortable with.

Thanks for all the help you guys. When I find the answer I’ll take a pic and not post it.

@Dutchess_III Two years ago I was up in Lake Placid over the fourth of July. It was hotter then hell. My s/o went out on the balcony and burst out laughing. I stepped out to see what was the deal. There was a woman on the beach, at least 250 or 300 pounds wearing a bikini. Not much of it was visible, but you get the idea. Just relax, none of us are perfect.

I don’t have any stretch marks

You bitch.~~

Stretch marks were just an example. Good for you, though. I’ve got some and I’ve never had a baby or been all that overweight.

It’s not that these things don’t exist; it’s that they’re harder to find than skimpy bikinis.

My butch sister wears men’s board shorts with a bikini top just because she prefers how it looks, not in an attempt to hide the stretch marks and loose skin that she has and doesn’t mind showing to others. She’s got hips and a butt, but the shorts are pretty flattering without being revealing.

You say I’m probably hotter than I think. Well I suspect these flaws of yours aren’t nearly as awful as you think. You should see me in dressing room lighting. No one looks good under those damn lights.

@Adirondackwannabe I’m not sure a story about your wife laughing at a woman for wearing a bikini is going to be much help to Dutchess.

@livelaughlove21 We’re all imperfect. Just relax and go with it.

I think you missed my point.

LOL!! I’m telling ya @Seek! I had it all, totally by accident.

Oh, indeed it does help @livelaughlove21. I don’t want to be one of those idiots that people laugh about behind their back. And that brought up a very weird picture in my head @Adirondackwannabe!

Maybe it’s harder for me just because I used to be so perfect until well into my 40’s. I could wear anything and look good. Anything. Although I was still quite reserved, even then. I haven’t had to spend my life…worrying about what looked good and what didn’t. If I liked it, I bought it, and I rocked it.

I got your point.

And you made a good point, brother.

@Dutchess_III Sorry didn’t mean to mess with you. Just be comfortable in your own skin.

For what it’s worth, my swimsuit is this kind of silhouette. I still feel like I’m thrusting my thunderthighs upon the world, but at least the belly is contained, and I’m not terribly self-conscious about my shoulders and stuff. And yes, I’m aware that I’m much bigger in the mirror than I am in the eyes of other people. Still.

Anyway, it’s the best compromise I have.

Tankini tops don’t work for me. Worst part is my stomach and the Tankini tops I have had don’t quite cover down over the waistline of the bottoms enough. I move and the think pops up over my stomach. I’m better off in a real bikini. Maybe some tankinis are better than others? Longer?

I am very glad to be back in FL in the land of half naked where everyone can where a bathing suit and not care. Almost everyone is in a bikini and it is no big deal that their bodies are not perfect. I usually wear a one piece, because I swim, I am not just lounging and playing.

@Seek I have a similar suit and the gathers in the fabric hide my tummy well.

@JLeslie There are about .5 percent of the population that have perfect bodies. The rest of us live in the real world.

LOL! This is turning hilarious folks! Lets all put on our bikinis and speedos and take pictures and share them here!

@Adirondackwannabe In FL there are a few more “perfect” ones than the majority of American cities, but we have plenty of imperfect ones here too. When I have lived in more conservative places they just aren’t used to letting skin show I think, and they are even more self conscious of imperfections. It’s a wierd phenomonon. That’s my observation and experience anyway.

In case you had not noticed, boys have a distinct ‘bump in the front’ that keeps their shorts from falling off? Maybe you could buy a belt with a rodeo buckle and wear it between your granny pants and board shorts?

I have swim shorts and board shorts from Lands End.
Some of their stuff is available at Sears.

P.S. Lands End has swim tees now, also.

Thanks @hearkat .

Bullcaca!

All the mens stuff these days is this mass of material that hangs down to the knees and can be used as topsails on three masted schooners and quite frankly, with only a single mast, I don’t need that much fabric.

Several years ago I found a good North Face that I thought looked good, not too tight, not too long, and with pockets kinda like regular shorts. And in spite of all the new ones that I have been bought, it is my favorite. Yet according to my daughter it is a “No! Just…..... No! Dad, you are not wearing that!.

Sumbitch! Why not? It is not like it is a speedo or thong! Nothing hangs out! But, according to my little fashionista they are just too short. Just because all they offer these days are coulottes for men doesn’t mean I have to wear those ugly pieces of crap.

And besides, my wife bought us a “Bathing Suits Optional” sign for above the back door and told our daughter she might want to call before coming over. Now she is happy that I have a suit on at all.

I vote ruching.

Studies show that men’s shorts are getting progressively shorter, @rojo. Like you, I have yet to notice it.

Rock the bikini no matter what your form.

Would you have ever worn this? [nsfw] http://www.the-bikini.com/galleries-peekaboo/

That looks… incredibly uncomfortable.

and incredibly hot

The zipper ones are pretty awesome.

just make sure you do not get hair stuck in it.

That would suck.

Oh, nice. They have an outlet store. Cameltoe at a discount.

“Cum on Down to Cameltoe Town!”

^https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvyt0PwMX_g

You guys are horrible!

I could have worn that, @ragingloli, when I was in my teens and 20’s, but I never would even dream of doing so. Why the hell would I want something crawling up my butt like that??

I had to borrow a clean pair of my husband’s underwear over the weekend. Guys even have BETTER UNDERWEAR than women! So comfortable! I’ll never buy women’s underwear again.

Me Neither @Dutchess_III !

^ Prude.

What brand was the underwear, @Dutchess_III? Most modern men’s underwear is anatomically correct, and I wouldn’t imagine that would appeal to a woman.

Was that too much would?

@ibstubro Can there be such a thing as too much “would”.

I’ve tried on my husband’s boxer briefs before and found them awkward. He looks much better in them than I do. He doesn’t wear boxers (thankfully), but I have a pair I sometimes wear to bed. They’re Joe Boxer – super comfy.

I wore men’s briefs when I was pregnant, and postpartum. Thicker material, wider waistband. Very comfy.

These aren’t boxers. I agree, boxers are awkward. The ones he has are kind of stretchy, comfortable shorts.

@Seek I wore my husbands pants when I was 9 months along. I was able to button them up easily. He kind of got mad about it! I had told him he was putting on weight and getting a gut, but he didn’t believe me. He thought he was just buff, like a line backer. He wasn’t. My ex was one of the most self-deluding persons I have ever known.

I tried that for a little while, but I carried Ian so low that pants just weren’t an option anymore. He was practically falling off me.

@Dutchess_III Those are boxer briefs, the ones I described as awkward.

I thought you meant the light cotton ones. Well, I don’t find them awkward. I can hardly tell I have them on, unlike with my regular, high cut women’s underwear.

@ibstubro I have no idea what the brand is. I didn’t even look at them that closely. I’m assuming that by “appealing,” you mean woman wouldn’t like the way they look in them. Well, that’s completely beside the point. I’m going 100% with the way they feel.

@Dutchess_III I’d imagine high cut underwear would be pretty uncomfortable indeed.

It is, but back when I was worried about it, it was the most flattering cut. I could wear granny underwear for comfort, but that’s icky. The men’s shorts are somewhere in between the two.

I like the cotton hipsters they have for women now. Cuts down on the VPL, too.

Those look OK. But I like the guy style where they come a little further down on the leg.

OH, BTW….disaster averted. Swimming never came up! Horseback riding did, though….I found myself completely unprepared. Had on white Capris and backless sandals. Oh well. I had a horse for several years as a young teenager. I rode barefoot the majority of the time, so I just kicked off my sandals and jumped on. We also had to do some hiking, which I did with ease, also barefooted. People were commenting on it. I didn’t see the big deal. I mean, I know it wasn’t the norm, but so what? I wasn’t about to go scrambling around on a mountain top, in loose shale and stuff in flip flops!

Forgive my ignorance – I thought high-waisted underwear were granny panties. What flattering high-waisted underwear are you talking about?

I opt for these when necessary (work, mostly) and these the rest of the time. I’ve never had any comfort issues.

I said “High cut,” not “high waisted.” High cut on the thigh.

I don’t know the difference and a Google search for “high cut underwear” is giving me high-waisted underwear. I’ll have to take your word for it.

Like this. You can get them lower waisted, like a bikini, but I prefer a little higher cut than that.

See, I wouldn’t have thought a woman would like boxer briefs or trunks, because almost all now have a ‘contour pouch’ to give the boys a little breathing room. Seems like it would just be bunchy material on a woman.

Most men aren’t that big, @ibstubro. Sorry to break it to ya!