There are conflicting viewpoints on it. I think it has to do partly with the articulate individual, and probably a balance of the two methods of talking things through and putting it behind you is the solution and the balance for everyone is different.
There were some studies done of Holocaust survivors and who fared best and how they handled coping after the events. Many of them did very well moving forward and not dwelling on the past. Not reciting the past over and over.
Fairly recently regarding PTSD the research is showing if you can get to the person quickly after a traumatic event and not have them review everything in detail it’s better. The belief now is letting details blur in the memory prevents very bad ongoing trauma. The connection of the event in the brain to emotional reactions is not as deeply etched. It doesnt mean people can not talk if they need to though. They even sometimes recommend prescribing drugs that interfere with memory. The therapy much after the events is slightly different. I think there are still conflicting views on it and someof these therapies are in their infancy.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is very much about taking action, while traditional psychotherapy delves into the past. Some patient’s respond better to one than the other. Sometimes CBH is shown to work much much better for certain problems. A combination of the two is often used by good therapists.
I personally think what happens in childhood often significantly affects how we handle our life as adults, and if something is a pattern, it behooves the person to figure out where the pattern is coming from, so that takes some looking back.
In terms of friends, many of them get tired of hearing the same thing over and over again and will want you to feel better fast after something bad occurs. In some ways I think shrinks are there for you when you don’t want to burden your friends anymore with hearing your sorrows. In other ways they are trained professionals and can help guide you to feeling better and moving forward.
The genders tend to be different. Most men seem to need less talking out loud than women. I think some of that is environment influences and not innate, but some probably is innate, and so sometimes men don’t talk enough when they should be. They don’t process grief or don’t face what has happened fully and work through the feelings. That can be counterproductive in the long run.
Basically, the answer I want to give is—it depends. Also, I want to say that a good friend listens for the fourth time while their close friend tells the same upsetting story and shows understanding for the stress their friend is going through. If they are having trouble moving forward then maybe suggest they see a therapist, but being there for them is being a good friend.