I'm a swinger, does my friends with benefits guy have feelings for me?

Ok… so my boyfriend and I were swingers and decided to go solo for a little while (have our own fun on the side alone). I met this guy who I ended up having a ton of chemistry with physically and romantically. I dont believe in love at first sight but there was something different about being with him than anyone else. The way I felt around him in my gut and heart was a noticeable difference compared to the last guy I had some fun with before him (and that last guy I was very attracted to and I really liked him, maybe too much). I’m not perfect and needless to say we don’t do solo anymore because I couldn’t separate my feelings when it came to having fun with other men, plus we did it during a time we were not the happiest… it was just a bundle of mistakes that we have gotten past. Now back to the point…

This guy and I started seeing each other more than once a week, he literally texted me every single day and he always texted me first. We would chat pretty much all day long about pretty much anything and send pictures back and forth. He would ask me to send him a picture but when I’d ask him what kind, it was always just my pretty face he wanted to see (he’d say). Then when he would have to be gone for the weekend with his woman (oh yeah, he’s married by the way. Please don’t judge, just need advice), he would tell me he wouldn’t be able to talk to me all weekend and to not miss him too much, etc. I knew he was trying to tell me he was going to miss me. We’d meet in private locations, or he’d come up to my work on my break, just to see each other for 5 minutes if that’s all the time we had. Just to hug and kiss then leave. We’d be physical when we would hang out at night but one night he could only come hang out for about 20 minutes and asked if I still wanted him to come. He said we didn’t have to do anything, we could just cuddle and watch TV… well that’s what we did and he was fine with it. We’d go out to play pool together (that’s how we met), and even went to the movies a few times together.

When we would hug, sometimes he would push me away just to twirl me around like we were on the dance floor, he’d make comments about playing the lottery for us. But if I’d ask him what he meant by “for us” he’d kind of just blow it off, or when I would talk to him about wishing things were different and the possibility of us being together one day… he would tell me we are just friends and he is happy with her… that if I dont think I can handle being just friends with benefits then I should tell him. But then when he would get drun and text me telling me he wished he was here with me, even after he just left my house (got some from me) and was telling me he missed me and wanted to come back to cuddle and watch TV. So he did that night and we just laid on the couch together not even looking at the TV, just looking at each other. I try not to look into the eyes of another man cause I know how they are about that, but he was looking into MY eyes. Just kept staring at them, I swear I feel like I fell completely in love with him at that moment.

One time he told me he wished he had met me 5 years ago (which would have put him right at the time he hadn’t met her yet), and that was out of the blue. I dont say things or question him just to get him to say sweet things like that. I tried in the beginning but realized he always pushes away so I stopped. Anyways…

Then one day I grew a conscience and told him it was unfair to his wife and unfair to me to get myself involved to the point of falling for him when nothing was ever going to come of it and we needed to call it quits. He was ok with it. Then later that night texted he saying he missed me and that he wished he could still talk to me. I told him I was so sorry, I missed him too but it was the right thing to do and maybe some day if things are different then we can talk then. Well then he says… would you ever move in with me and start over fresh if I asked you to? I froze in the grocery store with a tomato in my hand! I couldn’t believe my eyes, so much that I texted back… “come again”? He says… just wondering if you would ever do that with me, start over together – a new life together. I told him maybe but that he was never going to leave her so im not holding my breath.

So since then my boyfriend and I really worked things out and are doing a lot better. We stopped the swinging solo. Ever since that day, that guy and I have been just friends but he still tries to get me to come hang out with him all the time. Almost every weekend. Every once in a while he will tell him he really cares about me and my daughter and he wishes nothing but the best for us. I just dont know what to think. Did this guy fall for me but was too scared to leave his wife cause he was not sure of the outcome? Or something? What? Im so confused and anytime I try to ask him anything all he says to me is… I wish we had met 5 years ago. Somebody help me make sense of this situation.