(NSFW) Why do some people enjoy being groped, and how will I know who does like it?

Something about childhood punishment by someone with authority.

Here is some info, but no reasoning why: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_spanking

@RocketGuy I changed the question.. thanks anyway for the Wikipedia link.

Uh, “groping” has a very negative connotation, and you should never do it. Affectionate touching, compassionate touching, sensual touching, and sexual touching are mutually agreed upon behaviors between consenting adults. Same thing for your original question about erotic spanking.

Anyone gropes or smacks me without my ok is getting punched.

Wait, I’m just running to the kitchen to get the popcorn…

@syz I was groped three times by a man , when I was an adult (my father if you need to know) and I had mixed reactions, one was hate the other was confusion. So I was wondering if all is bad. When I was working in MACS’ convenience store my co-worker was groped by the huge bouncer from the local pub, and she seemed to like it. I was confused.

^ Then I would think you would realize that groping is not a positive or pleasant action. Some people with low self-esteem may consider it some sort of twisted compliment, but it’s not.

@syz I watched the movie with Jenifer Aston “Along came Polly ”(the one where she has a pet ferret) , she was spanked by her lover Ben Stiller and it seemed o.k. but I don’t know… Maybe I should wait until I’m married to try something like that.

It doesn’t matter when or with whom you do it, as long as it’s mutually agreed upon and performed safely (no actual physical damage). Safe, sane, consensual

@syz GA
Anyone gropes me without my consent is getting punched as hard as I can. Nonconsensual stuff is never okay, unless you and your partner are role playing.

Well…if you grope someone and they slap you silly I think that’s a big clue.
For me grope=get a rope. lol Hang them gropers high.

Any touching of anybody should only occur with their permission.

I suggest that if you date someone, you should tell them that you have not dated very much at all and so you will need to be told specifically when and if they are ready for any touching, kissing, hand holding or whatever to occur. Otherwise, you may misread their signals and do something that the person does not want, and there may be a problem.

Please don’t completely change the question if people have already answered it. It gets confusing.

My answer: it is never acceptable to “grope” someone. Not even strippers tolerate it. It’s clumsy, tacky, disrespectful, and rude. If someone enjoys being groped, chances are they are also clumsy, tacky, disrespectful and rude.

If you ‘grope’ someone, you could end up being groped by a big, burly police officer. Let’s change the word grope to ‘assault’. If you touch someone inappropriately without their expressed permission, you’re assaulting them. That’s not going to be a positive experience for them or you.

Why would you even want to do this?

I’ve never known anyone who enjoyed being groped. It’s always IMO degrading and unwelcome.

@talljasperman I’m a little confused. The subject line says groping, but a couple people mention spanking in the thread. It looks like the original question was different from the current one; what are you asking?

“Spanked by her lover, Ben Stiller.” Hahahahaha, oh my god. Now THERE’S a mental image I wasn’t expecting today. I’ve never seen that movie. What’s, like, the opposite of thinking something is sexy? The far, far, polar opposite? Oh man, it’s going to take a lot of bourbon brain bleach to get rid of that.

Anyway, the word “groped” has a negative connotation that I don’t think you intended. It means unwanted, aggressive contact, and it sounds like being felt up by a creepy stranger on the metro.

You’ve asked a number of genuine questions about dating lately, so I don’t think that’s what you meant. The spirit of this question seems to be more about consensual boob touching. The only way to know is to ASK someone.

Same with spanking, or any kink- they will tell you, or you have to ask them. It’s really not something to surprise someone with. I think it’s classy to bang them a couple times first and get to know each other a bit, then ask. That makes it easier to have a potentially awkward conversation. A lot of people are into it, you’d be surprised.

Anyway, you might want to write a new question or flag this one and redo it, you’ll probably get more useful answers that way.

Grope is an ugly word for an ugly act committed by ugly people.

I think in this context what @talljasperman means by grope is fondle/touch someone in a sexual way, obviously with the person’s consent. Not the negative assault-y way. (i hope)

I think it’s a very general question, some people like being ‘grabbed’ some don’t. So it depends on how you both feel.

You never ‘just’ randomly try it. I think it’s suitable to do it during a steamy make-out session, but don’t do it all at once, just ease your way into it and see how they react. If they like it, continue. If not, stop.

Or you can just ask, but that might kind of ruin it. (You might come off as creepy)

The most important thing is if you do ever try it you have to look confident and feel comfortable. If you’re not then you will come off as a creep.

And make sure the other person is COMPLETELY fine with it.

I’m going to go way out on a limb here and make a guess that our @talljasperman might be using the word grope to mean general sexual foreplay, like caressing breasts, rubbing and fingering genitals and so forth.

Most people, within actual sexual relationships (not random strangers on the bus, nor co-workers, nor neighbors) like foreplay, but the kinds of things that they like, differ from person to person. So if you start dating someone, and you get to the point where you might consider a sexual relationship with them, you simply have to ask them what they like and don’t like. Never make any assumptions.

I hope this is what our friend is talking about, and not the kind of groping that is considered sexual assault.