When a jelly vanishes?

I feel the same way.

I’m pretty sure that the ones who leave for reasons other than being too busy wouldn’t have been swayed by the words of a few well-meaning, nice people. I see many many comments in the Meta section to the effect that people should be more “thick-skinned” and/or “put on their big girl/boy pants”. The real world requires a level of thick-skinnery to simply get along, it’s unavoidable. I personally don’t want my breaks from reality, whether on line, or having a cuppa in my local coffee house, to require a thick skin. Happy to discuss and debate, but it can get so vitriolic here. No point in that. There are other fora online that are more civilized, and places in the real world where I can have interesting discussions, but because they’re face-to-face we are all better behaved.

I would venture to say, @LornaLove, that by the time they are canceling an account, you probably wouldn’t be able to dissuade them, although I applaud your desire to do so. :-)

I miss many, too. I was Seeking for one of them the other day, and realized Neptune took her…what a shame.

Yes, I wish we could send out a please come back call and get them back just for a last comment.

I barely notice, ships in the night.

Yes… I found one on another site and I friended her.

It kind of saddens me when some jellies leave and no one asks about them, or the departures are not noticed. Like they were never important to anyone. I can think of a few. Of course, not trying to make myself look good, as there are probably plenty who left that I don’t know about. Plus ones who left and are not noticed, well I can’t actually make that claim. But that is how it seems at times.

@pekenoe left a final comment for Fluther when he left.

@Symbeline I’ve often noticed the disappearance of jellies, but in the absence of any way to express this, it does tend to appear that their leaving has gone unnoticed.

Some jellies leave after repeatedly expressing growing concern over the state of [whatever issue] and are shouted down by everyone as “stirring the pot” or “lighting fires”... this always rewarded by massive lurve scores. When the jellies finally disappear, there is a big show of sadness, and a cry of “Why didn’t they say anything?” Well, where were you when?

Aye, it’s true that certain mentalities and behaviors around here are often favored and deemed as the utmost truth. But were I to bitch about that too much…lol.

Yes I have felt that way about a few that have left. I still wonder about them as if I had known them in real life.

I miss them. Some I am friends with on Facebook, which helps me feel not so cutoff from them—I at least hear how they are doing, but the intimacy of the exchanges on Fluther is missing.

Yes. It does make me a little sad. I always want to know what happened.
Frankly, I don’t understand why people need to cancel their accounts. Just keep them and not show up if you must. You might change your mind.
Besides, we all know at least once per week a good question pops up.

@LuckyGuy some do leave their profiles, some leave them as is, some leave a jelly fish in it’s place. I hate that I wonder about so many here that shared then just left. Some I feel like saying ‘Don’t let the door hit ya on the way out’ (that was in my best american accent haha!)

It depends on how much that jelly impresses me. If that is a jelly I admire, then I will notice the first sign of them planning to disappear and try to PM them (I once did that to @Symbeline :p), otherwise I don’t think I notice.

I keep thinking of Dateline when I read this question. I can hear the announcer’s voice saying “When a jelly vanishes.” :)

I’ve seen so many come and go. I’ve been there myself. I think I recently counted more than 25 users from one old thread who are not members today. There are many more that I miss. I make sure to have another form of communication with those I really care about.

That’s where Vaseline Petroleum Jelly comes from.

Fluther should have something like an exit interview, just a one or two minute optional click click “why are you leaving?” and “are there any suggestions you would make to improve the site?” The information received would be seen only by whoever owns the site, and then they could see if there are any issues that otherwise might not make their way up the ladder.

@jonsblond Ha! I was just coming on here to say the same thing!

I’ve been through this on several sites over the years, and have come to accept it as the way of the world wide web. If I care, I make an attempt to stay in touch; if they care, they will make an attempt to stay in touch. I make myself accessible and use this name on numerous sites and email services – if someone wants to contact me, I’m pretty easy to find. We just have to accept that feelings aren’t always mutual, and people come and go throughout the course of our lives.

I’ve noticed that when you disagree enough with certain people, and often enough, that you’ll grow new shadows on here, even if you don’t directly have any exchanges with them. My shadow is getting bigger, Yeehaw!

There were a few jellies that I liked, and frequently exchanged messages with, but these were from my first account several years ago, and now all of those users are long gone. I’ve figured that the least I could do is be somewhat of a voice for them on some key issues.

@chyna we must be long lost sisters :)

Is there anybody out there?

@rojo The truth is out there.

Covered with a bunch of missing Jellies?

@rojo Could be. I want to believe.

Just nod if you can hear me.

People are deserting Fluther for other sites? Thanks, Obama

@rojo Good idea. The President is responsible for everything bad, right?~

Yes, I wonder about a few that are gone but it is what it is. I’m a fluther loyalist, I doubt I’ll leave unless I am either dead or so damn busy that I have no time. Dead is more likely and I wouldn’t cancel my acct. either or return in disguise, I am either here or I am not, no need for a dramatic exit.

Heck, take it from me…even when you’re dead, you can still Fluther. :)

I’m not dead. :)

Sometimes people need a break. As a theist I need time with other theists as well as you guys, no worries.

@KNOWITALL: Heyyyy! :)

@jca HEY!!! I may not know it ALL yet, I still need ya’ll. :)

Plus for some reason, I messed up and got talk and text on my phone and didn’t get data/ internet, now I’m good to go again. Nice to have a few people checking in with me here and on fb though, warmed my wittle heart.

It seems that this thread help bring inactive jellies back again.

@KNOWITALL Yes, you were one I was worried about :D

@LORNAlove Thanks, had to get centered & focus for a bit, that’s all. ;)

Dude. Welcome back yo. :D

@Symbeline Thanks yo! I missed ya’ll, for real.

I’m back sometimes, as well. But not a lot of people realized I was gone. Alas.

^^Or perhaps you don’t realize that other people realized you’re gone.

@dxs You could be right. Actually, I’m noticing that a lot of other people are gone as well, now, so maybe that’s it.

@DrasticDreamer I kind of creepily keep track of everyone here…I’m not sure exactly why, but it makes for a sad time when I hear they leave.

I know many of us are not on Facebook for various reasons, but one thing that is good about FB is that it’s a way to keep in touch with each other if ever, for any reason, we don’t have Fluther any more. It’s possible to set up a FB account that is only for your Fluther friends (i.e. using your Fluther profile/avatar) so that you can still keep your personal life separate while avoiding the rest of FB drama.

@jca That’s exactly what I have done. I’m sure my FB friends will freak out when they see my Fluther FB account.