Do you ever feel that you are "on your own" even if you actually aren't?

I really am on my own because, well, I actually am. haha
I have been divorced for 11 years now from a 22 yr. marriage but during many of those years I did feel very alone because of the emotional disconnect with my ex. Nothing worse than sitting next to someone physically with an emotional chasm the size of the Grand Canyon separating you. I am very comfortable with myself and rarely feel lonely but right now I am financially destroyed between a midlife divorce and this economy tanking the last handful of years.

I feel very alone from a financial standpoint, I just am not making it and my near future is very precarious in the moment.

I’ve been “on my own” for a very long time but have never quite been able to lose the fantasy that somebody would be there to help me if I ever needed it.

Thanks for the honest, touching answers.

It dawned on me shortly after I moved to Norway 12 years ago. I married a man who decieved me and left me on my own with his special needs son. I live here and have no family, except my own son and my stepson, who both rely on me to fill a parental role in the absence of their father. So, it is me and the state.

@cazzie I admire your guts! I would have caved in long ago.

@ZEPHYRA when kids depend on you, you have no choice. I’m starting to carve out a life for myself now that he is out of my house. I had to wait until things got really bad to kick him out, I’m afraid. Final straw came when the police called me in for an interview. Neighbours had seen my husband slap my son several times across the face while shouting at him (I wasn’t home and didn’t know this happened). I had to testify as to what I had seen that constituted ‘abuse’ in my household. I broke down and just sobbed. He was convicted and fined. My ex is watched carefully now and is on medication and seeing a therapist. He still thinks he is a great father and imagines he can take my son away on holiday with him, which is is not allowed, but he is so delusional, he still doesn’t fully comprehend why.

I have lived alone most of my life and yet I never feel as if I am on my own. Of course it helped when I made friends with the guy who created the universe. After that i have never needed for anything.

I never feel alone living on my own, nor do I ever feel lonely.

Sure do. When problems and complications arise, it seems that the people around me slowly but surely thin out and disapear. Essentially one should only rely on oneself, which is something being a drinker taught me haha. But it’s fine, I don’t need anyone, and never better served than by yourself, anyway.

We’re all in charge of our own destiny. I might be able to borrow a couple hundred dollars from family if things got really desperate. But any big steps forward, like paying for school or getting a car (I just bought one!) are up to me.

I’d actually love to have an honest and capable life partner someday. Not so they could bail me out, but so we could collaborate and lean on each other. But based on what I’ve heard from other people, marriage sounds like such a risky venture. Like, someone could ruin you financially, or they could abdicate their responsibilities and leave you pulling for two people. Or they could become an emotional vampire, and drain away all your happiness and zest for life.

How do people ever trust someone enough to marry them??? Like, do happy marriages even exist?

Yes @Haleth happy marriages do in deed exist. And not just in fairy tales. In real life, too.