hater, and the longer version, haters gonna hate
I’m all about transparency (said by any boss or politician because you know they’re lying and hiding stuff.)
that’s sick (when not referring to someone being ill)
mandate (as used by a politician saying something is a mandate)
resolve (as used by politicians) they use it as a noun, rather than a verb.
cray cray
recalculating (as said by the woman on my GPS)
press 1 for English
What can I get started for you? (As said by the barristas at Starbucks, rather than saying, “What can I get for you?”)
sportscasters using the term round ball instead of basketball
Do you want to supersize that? (No, if I did, I would have ordered it that way in the first place)
Is that for here or to go? (It’s to go, just like I said when I ordered it and said at the end, that’s to go)
How may I direct your call? (I don’t know. I’m calling up to get some information and I have no idea to whom my call should be directed. I would prefer that they ask, “How may I help you?”)
Hello, welcome to McBurgerBox, would you like to try our new blah, blah, blah? I would prefer that they ask, “Welcome to McBurgerBox, when ever you’re ready, let me know what you’d like to order.” (They never give you enough time to even pull up to read the menu before they’re trying to suggest you order something else that you don’t even want.)
No problem, or the shorter version, No prob. (I should hope that it shan’t be a problem, dear sir.)
What ev (please stretch it out to its conclusion)
I iz and Ima on Facebook, instead of I am; and I’m going to.
But you eat fish right? After just having said that I am a vegetarian.
I don’t know. Said by any customer service representative. What I would prefer that they say is, “I’m not sure, let me go and find out for you.”