@cazzie FYI, part of the reason ASDs are hard to diagnose reliably is high comorbidity with other issues. For instance, I have the same attention span issues and bouts of hyperactivity as ADHD, but a more intense hyper-focus, As most autistic people are delayed in language skills but I was reading at a 5th-grade level by kindergarten, they ruled out “normal” autism, but my social skills definitely put me “on the spectrum”.
It wasn’t until the early-90s (after I already graduated high school) that they figured it out; Asperger’s.
However, aspies are generally high-functioning. For instance, John Elder Robison, the guy who designed the guitars for KISS, or (allegedly) Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, and Nikola Tesla. Autism isn’t just people sitting in wheelchairs staring off into space; it really is a wide range.
The big thing is that we are different. We tend to see things differently…. sometimes literally given that autism (of any kind_ rewires the brain, including sensory perception. I’m nearly red/orange colorblind but tend to have problems with UV, including sunlight, and most lights tend to flicker as they’re run on 60-hertz AC). Pop the hood of your car and tell me what you see. Most people see a block of metal with hose and wires all over: I see this. Most people think in words, but we think in pictures. Often pictures that we cannot find words for. Try explaining that picture… in Mandarin because you don’t know the language that the people around you use. Imagine the frustration of people not seeing that and also being unable to explain it to them.
Frustration is common, and is (at least in my case) a cause of anxiety as I just can’t get through to other people. Since I have the ability to read/write/speak English pretty well, I don’t have it so bad, but I still get a bit antsy when one of my gamer friends doesn’t inherently know why the “hits” mechanic from Shadowrun 4th/5th edition is far superior to the “target number” system of 1st-3rd edition; the math is so simple (to me) that it’s fucking obvious enough that anybody who doesn’t get it is (in my eyes) a moron.
Imagine living in a world where nobody can see what is obvious to you, and you can’t tell them how the world really is. You know the frustration you feel when the person in front of you at the checkout takes 5 minutes to count out correct change? Or you have a foreign coworker who hasn’t learned the language yet? Imagine everyone you meet is like that. Now do it without learning manners or tact. For your entire life.
It’s still possible to have a somewhat normal life though. I have a well-paying trade that I am good at, a loving and understanding wife who I’ve been with for ~20 years, and all that, but it isn’t easy. I get by mostly by “translating”; seeing parallels and going from there. Imagine you are a PC running Linux in a world full of Windows boxes. You both have desktop GUIs (though they look different) and you can run many of the same programs (like Firefox), but you are different enough that there are certain things that are either more difficult or outright impossible for you to do since translation (like WINE, the package that lets Linux run many (but not all) Windows executables) has it’s limits. The upside is that you can find joy in things that others consider either trivial or invisible. You you see the humour in a d30? I’m laughing my ass off looking at it!