[NSFW] How would you rewrite this scene's dialog to make it better?

Nurse: Look at my chest – it’s yours if you want it.
Joe: OK.

Most of the dialog is, with all respect, not necessary,

If that’s considered “witty, flirty banter” I can see why I don’t watch samurai cop movies.

It’s basically perfect as it is. Well done.

Nurse: Do you…

[cut to closing credits] The end.

Since I don’t know what kind of guy Joe Marshall is (though I do like the mild wit of a cop named Marshall; can you come up with a first name that is Japanese or Japanese-sounding that also is a synonym for samurai?) it’s hard for me to predict his reaction. I’m thinking that a more normal reaction from a guy who’s shy enough not to have already made his moves on such an obvious slut (I mean it in the good way) would be like, “Uh… um…” and to turn his head and try to unblinkingly peak at her, only less obviously. That could be the reaction for the first two questions.

This nurse would not be asking about “going out with”. By the time we’ve gotten to this point in the scene “going out with” has already gone out… the window. Move to the next question. I’m thinking that Joe’s response to that question will be a choking gurgle as his face turns even redder than it was after the first two.

Finally, since Joe was probably circumcised as an infant, he would not have known what kind of doctor he had. (In fact, if he were Jewish – unlikely, I suppose, for a samurai – then it may not have been a doctor who performed the operation.)

I’m also confused by the characterization of the slutty nurse as revealed in this scene. If she were throwing herself at the samurai cop, then it seems to me that she would have already made her decision to bed him no matter what his package was like. On the other hand, if her only intent was to tease and humiliate him, then she would have gone about that differently, too. Once her motivation is clear (to the author), then the words and actions will reconcile, or should after several rewrites.

Let’s see what the next rewrite brings.

Nurse: Do you like what you see?
Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Nope. I’m gay. Got a brother?”

@CWOTUS
He is from San Diego

NSFW. NSFL.

EDUCATION WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO LEARN A CONCEPT THAT MIGHT BE NEW TO YOU DO NOT CONTINUE.

Nurse: Do you like what you see?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: I love what I see.

Nurse: Would you like to touch what you see?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Yes. Yes I would.

Nurse: Would you like to go out with me?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Uh, yes I would.

Nurse: Would you like to fuck me?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Bingo.

Nurse: Well then let’s see what you’ve got…

[investigates his bulge]

Nurse: Doesn’t interest me. Nothing there.

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Nothing there? Just exactly what would interest you, something the size of a jumbo jet?

Nurse: Have you been circumcised?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Yeah I have, why?

Nurse: Your doctor must have cut a large portion off.

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: No uh, he was a, he was a good doctor.

Nurse: Good doctors make mistakes too, that’s why they have insurance.

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: [getting closer to her] Hey… don’t worry. I got enough. It’s big.

Nurse: I want bigger.

JM: This is what I’ve got. This is the reality of the situation. It’s fisting time.

N: Okay.

JM: It’s sliding in quite easily. You are a blown out hamburger cunt whore.

N: You’re humiliating language is arousing to me.

JM: Thank you tramp. You will call me Fist San.

N: Yes, Fist San. Use my cervix as a speedbag.

JM: Very good, you will be called Bucketcunt.

N: Mmmm! Yess Fist San, Bucketcunt loves your knuckles banging into my G spot. Please do not stop!

JM: “Do not stop who?”

N: Do not stop Fist San… please!

JM: That is better Bucketcunt. Fist San is now going to squeeze his fist in that special way that makes that sensation of pressure inside.

N: Oooooooooh! I feel that suction feeling as you pull out slightly. It is making me tremble!

JM: Can you feel my knuckles colliding with your pubic bone?

N: YES Fist San. You are very talented. I am shaking!

JM: Note that I do not twist my fist for and back inside you, or any other novice shit like that.

N: I do Fist San! Please keep squeezing your fist and releasing. Can you feel my spine with your fingertips?

JM: I can Bucketcunt. I am going to turn my fist sideways inside you now.

N: Are you?...

JM: Yes Whore. I am going to press my penis into my fist while it is inside you. It will feel very good!

N: How did you discover this Fist San?

JM: I watched a fisting video from Germany. Loli San sent it to me. Those Germans will fist anything.

N: Ooooooh! It feels sooooo goooood Fist San.

JM: Indeed, it feels very pleasant to me as well. We will cummm together now!

N: Ohhhhh. I feel that wonderful pressure feeling. Please press on me below my navel with your other hand… hard… please Fist San!

JM: Yes my Bucketcunt. I am going to spray into your uterus now. I want you to spray your girlcum all over my face and hair.

N: Yes Sir.

JM: Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!!

N: OoooooooooooooooooooJUMBOJEToooooooooooooooooooh!!!!!

Nurse: Does one like what one sees?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: One loves what one sees.

Nurse: Does one wish to touch what one sees?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Most assuredly!

Nurse: Would one desire a rendezvous with my personage?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Indeed. Indeed one would.

Nurse: Does one wish to fuck me?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Indubitably!

Nurse: Then let us determine whether your member is fit for purpose.

[Investigates his bulge]

Nurse: My interest has waned. There’s nothing there.

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Nothing there? Just exactly what would interest Madam? Something the size of a steam engine?

Nurse: Has one been circumcised?

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: Indeed one has. Why does one enquire?

Nurse: The physician tasked with removing the foreskin from one’s member must have lopped off more than intended.

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: I assure Madam, that he was an exemplary physician!

Nurse: Even the most competent physicians fall foul of errors; hence their requirement to have insurance.

Joe Marshall, the samurai cop: [Getting close to her] Madam, let me allay your fears. My phallus is of ample size. It is voluminous.

Nurse: Inadequately voluminous to satiate my desires.

[Walks away]

There’s probably grammatical errors, but I don’t care!

N. Do you like what you see?

JM I love what I see

N Would you like to touch what you see?

JM Is this a quiz? You talk too much. Right now, I have better things to do with my mouth.
Gimme that!

N Would “gasp” you like to go out with me?

JM Shut up. If talking did it for me, I’d own a parrot.

Would someone please hurry up and express their indignation regarding this question and post?

I don’t have all day.

Jeez.

I just wanted to thank @ragingloli for bringing this movie to my attention.

Samurai Cop is one of the funniest, unintentionally hilarious films I’ve seen in a long time. So terrible that it’s good.