Settle down or play the field to gain perspective?

All things in moderation.

Try different foods but don’t over eat..

What if you’re not smart enough to do moderation well? I’m more an all or nothing type.

It depends completely on the individual’s personality and temperament. I know people who are tremendously happy after marrying their Middle-School sweetheart, and I know people who are divorced and regret not having sown their wild oats. There is no cookie-cutter approach to life or love.

I’d advise the young person to do what they want regarding relationships, but to “always keep their eyes on the prize” meaning to keep their educational goal(s) as #1 until they attain them.

I’d say play the field, sow your wild oats.
Not that that is a given for fidelity in a LT relationship or marriage, but, the more variety of experience the less fantasy and unresolved curiosity is going to be an issue,
Of course I can only speak for myself but as a woman I felt I had plenty of experiences before I married to not feel I was missing out on anything. I divorced for other reasons but sexual curiosity about others was not one of them.

Sometimes people really do meet the right person when they’re young. But your personality changes so much throughout your late teens and early 20s. What if you meet someone in college, and you go through some big changes, and they don’t?

It’s the same way I feel about choosing a college/ major. Your late teens is usually too young to know what you want out of life. I think a lot of people end up on the wrong career track because higher education is set up this way.

For young people, I lean toward being single/ playing the field. One of my favorite times was ages 18–19, being happily single, hanging out with my friends, working on art, and dating someone cute here and there.

Young adulthood should be a time of self-discovery. It’s a time when your personality gets “bigger” as you grow into the adult you really are. If you haven’t gotten there yet, it’s easy to mold yourself to fit a relationship. Here is a series of photography I really like, where that is one of the themes.

For young people in serious relationships, I’d advise them to keep a balance in their lives. The relationship should be one part of your life, along with all the other people you care about and things that make you happy. It’s very easy to get sucked into spending all your time with a person, or doing all the things they like, if you’re young. The best way to keep a balance is to spend time with friends and family, enjoy their own separate hobbies, and do some honest introspection from time to time. Like, “am I really happy here?” or “is this who I really am?”

Neither. Moderation through multiple monogamous relationships.

To quote Dan Savage, “all relationships end. Even lifelong relationships end when one of the two die.” Staying in a relationship when it is evident it is waning is a form of hostage taking.

But being in a relationship with another is how we learn and grow, how we become able to think of someone else, not merely think of ourselves.

So don’t settle early for a lifelong commitment when the odds are it won’t last. But don’t merely spread one’s oats to get off.

@zenvelo Agreed, that is what I meant, not 500 one night stands. haha

Honestly, in 30-something years I have only found a handful of women I would consider a LTR with, like five. This explains why I have only had a handful. I’d say plenty of first and second dates but don’t waste any time on ones you can’t feel anything more than simple lust for. There are millions out there I have no problem lusting after.

Do what you want to do