What advice do you give to a friend that might be getting a divorce?

I mean, why would a man say he wants to work things out and cancel the divorce only to not want to talk or communicate for a solution. Then he suggested they go out to a sport game as if nothing wrong happened.

Because he never grew up in the first place. Unfortunately she married an emotional cripple. He can heal, but he won’t change until he wants to, and that would take a lot of hard work on his part. Sometimes it isn’t until after a person marries that they find exactly how broken their partner is. Your friend needs the support of her family. Perhaps you can stay in touch by phone or e-mail.

:( sounds about right. I just don’t get how someone u love can just leave you like that after many years. Just start acting a fool and young..they even just bought a house together.

Ugh it would suck “double dating” if he pursues that other woman and being her around..

Mostly all you can do is listen. Allowing her to vent will be helpful. Maybe ask her what she would tell you if your new husband did all that to you. Have her step outside of her emotion and look at it more objectively.

Probably don’t say this while she is so upset, but dating that long often results in divorce within a short time after the couple finally marries. Having trouble committing to marriage in the first place by putting it off for years is an indication that marriage is not a good idea. Couples like that finally get married, because it often comes to a point where it is either break up or get married, and frequently they have to go through getting married to finally break up. I have seen it many times. An exception is if they start dating very young, then dating many years would make sense, other wise they get married at a very young age.

That guy sounds like an ass. All sorts of red flags, and I assume there were red flags for many years.

Maybe you can tell her he won’t change and he she is so beautiful and wonderful that she should be with someone as wonderful as she is. If she wants children you might have her think about if she wants her sons to be like him. But, be careful. If they do get back together and she feels you think he is awful, then she might feel very awkward being around you when she is with him in the future.

Yeah I’m careful about what I say I case they work things out. It just sucks, I’ll miss our double dates and group outings with friends. I know it won’t be the same. Things aren’t going to work if he won’t communicate to change things. Can’t have her out up with that and be depressed.

He doesn’t want anything to change. He just wants her to stick around so he can have his wife and his girlfriends. Does his dad and brothers cheat? It is a way of life for some families.

He eve thinks it’s not wrong to talk to this “friend” because she’ doesn’t live in the state, never met her, never had any contact in person, physical.

Let her know you will support whatever decision she makes (if that is indeed the case). As you seem to know already, if he sees nothing wrong with communicating with this other woman and sending her stuff, your friend will have to deal with this behavior the rest of her marriage. There is no room for improvement when he will not admit he did anything wrong in the first place.